If you truly love someone, cheating on them shouldn’t be among the first hundred things that will cross your mind.
So the question, “Can you love someone and cheat on them?” shouldn’t be one you’re asking to create allowances for something you intend to do, but I understand that life is not black-and-white all the time.
In real life, some grey areas can make this question very valid, so we will talk about it.
The first thing we need to establish is the fact that cheating is wrong, unfair, and an awful thing to do.
Although many times, when people cheat, especially on people they claim to love, they say it was a mistake, and they didn’t mean for it to happen.
But if we are being real, most times, the process that it takes to cheat on someone is too calculated and long to be a mistake.
I mean, while you were sending that text, making those calls, all of the sneaky stuff, or even while you were taking your shirt off, didn’t it occur to you at any point that what you were doing was wrong?
You never remembered that you love your partner and do not want to hurt them?
If these didn’t happen, then the love you profess may be questionable.
Please, stay with me because I haven’t answered the question yet.
Can you love someone and cheat on them?
The answer is YES.
Are you surprised at how fast I switched sides?
The fact that something is not right doesn’t make it impossible.
It is absolutely possible to love someone and still cheat on them.
I mean, in a perfect world with perfect humans, that shouldn’t happen, but we’re neither in a perfect world nor are we as homo-sapiens perfect.
So yes, you can love someone and still cheat on them for certain reasons.
6 Reasons Why You Can Love Someone And Still Cheat On Them
1. You don’t understand commitment
Sometimes, the knowledge of commitment is not general, and falling in love with someone does not automatically confer that knowledge upon you.
You may have genuinely fallen in love with someone and desire to do life with them, but maybe you haven’t fully grasped the concept of being committed and faithful to one person.
In a case like this, you may find yourself still doing things that you shouldn’t be doing, not because you do not love them but because you do not understand how serious commitment is.
To have a thriving relationship, you must quickly amend your ways, educate yourself, and do better.
2. You don’t understand boundaries
You may not want to cheat, but if you are poor at setting boundaries, you may find yourself doing things you shouldn’t do.
The failure to set strict boundaries around your life and stick to them can land you in compromising positions that can threaten to falsify the love you profess.
When you love someone, you do everything you can to protect what you share, and setting up boundaries, especially with people of the opposite sex, is a major part of this.
For example, I know of men who never employ a female housekeeper, even if she has the best references, because they know how another woman in the home could threaten their relationship with their spouse.
Set boundaries and stick to them for your relationship’s safety, no matter how awkward it feels.
3. Your needs are not met
Lack of physical, emotional, or psychological fulfillment can make people do things they shouldn’t do.
Perhaps whenever you want to tell the one you love about your day, they never have listening ears for you.
I have seen people experience this, and I know that it can be pretty frustrating not to have your needs met by your partner.
Sometimes, it’s sexual needs; married couples who should meet each other’s needs may not always do so.
If you feel starved of affection by the one you love, you may find yourself seeking it elsewhere, leading to infidelity.
The fact that you love someone doesn’t mean they will always be perfect for you, even if they love you in return.
There may be times when they’re not hitting the spot for you.
What you do in moments like that can make a world of difference.
Unfortunately, sometimes people choose to step out.
4. You have personal issues
You can be in love with someone yet cheat on them because you have issues.
Sometimes, people use their predicaments as an excuse for cheating; meanwhile, they’re just lying, but there are times when it can be true.
Issues such as low self-esteem, mental health challenges, or problems within your life in general can make you cheat on someone you love.
That is not the right thing to do, and it’s not an excuse, but it happens.
People who cannot manage their personal issues may let it spill into their relationship or marriage and affect their loyalty.
The right thing to do is to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, but you may find it easier to cheat than to do that.
5. You’re human
As human beings, we do not know our tendencies and capabilities until we have done it.
You may think that you cannot do something, but life can come at you so fast; one moment, you are standing, and the next, you are down.
Human beings make mistakes, and sometimes, you may make serious and costly mistakes like cheating on the person you love.
6. Bad influence
Sometimes, bad company can lead a person astray and cause them to stray from the values they stand for.
It is easy to get carried away in life when you have friends or colleagues encouraging you to do something your heart does not accept.
When someone is in an environment where cheating is common, it may be easier for them to cheat than resist temptation, and if this is your case, you might surprise yourself by doing what you least expected.
So the answer to the big question, “Can you love someone and cheat on them?” is yes.
However, taking this answer in isolation and running with it will most likely not end well, hence the need for this article.
It is very crucial to understand that although infidelity is not impossible, even in a relationship where love is present, it is not normal and shouldn’t be seen as that.
It is not normal to cheat on someone you love even when you have seemingly valid reasons to and even in moments of human weakness.
Love is not all there is to a good relationship; loyalty, faithfulness, and commitment are major ingredients too.
They are non-negotiables for a thriving relationship.
“Can I Love Some Yet Continually Cheat On Them?”
The answer to this is No.
When you love someone, you may err unintentionally or for any other reason, as mentioned above, but three things that will reflect your love for them are:
- Visible remorse and apology: Your love for them will be seen in how sorry you are for your actions and how much you regret them.
- Willingness to ensure that it never happens again: This is another litmus test that shows that you indeed love them. You are not just sorry, but you’re determined never to do it again.
- Visible change: Beyond promising never to betray their trust, your actions will match up. You show respect and loyalty to them in your behavior and decisions.
You do not love someone if you cheat on them and feel no sense of remorse or if you repeatedly cheat on them.
Even if you feel something for them, it may not be strong enough because if it were, you would not be betraying and hurting them.
Love transcends mere words and sweet feelings.
It is a commitment and a decision to do right by someone, to cherish them, and to be faithful to them.
So, yes, you can love someone and still cheat on them, but should you?
No, you should not.