A happily ever after is the desire of every couple that walks down the aisle.
But what happens if the ‘happily’ NEVER happens?
One of the core reasons for a marital relationship is companionship and having someone who makes you happy.
If so, what then should be the lot of people who are in unhappy marriages?
First and foremost, if this resonates, I apologize for what you are going through.
However, this isn’t the end of it all.
Your happiness doesn’t have to be jeopardized in the context of your marriage.
When life throws you lemons, you can always make lemonade.
Below are some things that can help you become happy in your marriage; see them as game changers.
Please read on!
How To Be Happy In An Unhappy Marriage – 10 Gamechangers For You
1. Take self-care seriously
How often do you take care of yourself?
Yes, I know you might feel a bit guilty and selfish, but you need to look after yourself and care for yourself the way you’d like your partner to.
There’s this saying that says, “I’ll take care of me for you.”
The law of magnetism states that you’re what you attract.
When you look down upon yourself, you’re doing yourself a great injustice because your partner will mirror how you treat yourself to you.
So, take proper care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally first before you look forward to receiving it from your spouse.
Before anyone compliments you, rain upon yourself a thousand compliments.
People who genuinely love themselves don’t go about looking for external love before they feel loved, and the same thing goes for happiness.
2. Communicate more with yourself
When people hear the word communication, they often fail to understand that it is a very broad topic.
You can communicate spiritually, physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, financially, psychologically etc.
This is a very broad topic, and I’ll probably talk about it some other time.
But the focus here is self-communication.
Most of the time, we often hear a voice in our mind.
Yes! The one you can’t silence, that’s the one I’m talking about.
This is your inner voice and the one that shapes your subconscious mind.
Many people don’t know they can converse with themselves simply because they have lost contact with themselves.
You need to engage yourself more in positive and self-uplifting conversations.
Do this by listening intently to your thoughts and analyzing them.
Are they negative or positive?
Are they constructive or destructive?
Once you start paying attention to your inner voice, you’ll become more aware of your thoughts and feelings and can channel it the happy route.
3. Find out why your marriage isn’t a happy one
Marriage can go from sweet to sour for a number of reasons, but whatever the reason, it can be searched out, identified, addressed, and then resolved.
If you’re the problem, take the time to check yourself and make a conscious effort to do better. If it’s your partner, address them without being confrontational.
There are two types of couples when it comes to marriage: those who enjoy and those who endure their marriage.
The difference between both couples is that some are willing to make it work for them to enjoy the marriage, while the other party isn’t really doing anything to make it work for them to enjoy it.
To enjoy your marriage to the point of happiness, you need to make it work within yourself and then with your partner.
4. Turn it around for your fulfillment
People don’t usually see relationships as a place of service.
Relationships are usually perceived to be Disneyland, where nothing is real, but the truth is that they are not.
If you were hanging on the general saying, “Love is blind,” I’m proud to let you know that marriage is an eye-opener.
There aren’t perfect relationships anywhere, and when you think you’ve seen one, it’s simply because both parties are working on themselves and their relationship.
God didn’t give us any furniture but gave us trees.
We were the ones who brought out chairs, tables, stools, and even paper.
The almighty never gives finished products, only raw materials.
There’s no perfect relationship anywhere.
Know this and know peace.
The grass is always greener on the other side until you nurse yours back to good health.
Put in the work and start seeing your relationship thrive.
Communication is key, but so is understanding and compromise.
Don’t expect perfection from yourself or your partner, but strive for daily growth and improvement.
There will be ups and downs, but how you handle them together matters most.
Choose to see the beauty in imperfection and embrace the journey of building a strong and lasting relationship with your partner.
5. Pick interest in your partner’s passion
I think it’s attractive when your partner tries to learn a little about what you’re passionate about.
When you do it for closure, it spices up your boring, unhappy marriage and adds more life to it.
It might sound a bit off, like when you’re not in the same field or profession, but if you try it romantically, you’ll find out that it brings closure.
Things like, “Honey! I’ve been thinking, what does your work entail? I’d like to know what you go through daily.”
Try it, it is a love language.
Maybe because I love it whenever my spouse asks for details about what I’m working on.
But sincerely speaking, try it.
This shows interest and support in your partner’s passions and helps strengthen the bond between you two.
Knowing that your partner cares about your passion can also make you feel more connected and understood.
It shows that they value your interests and are willing to learn more about them.
6. Be more intimate and affectionate
Showing physical affection is another way to communicate your love for each other.
This can include holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and kissing.
These small gestures can make a big difference in how connected you feel with your partner.
Being intimate also goes beyond just physical touch.
It’s about being vulnerable with each other, sharing your fears and desires, and creating room for more expression.
This level of intimacy helps build trust and strengthens the emotional bond between partners.
7. Plan special dates or surprises
When you take time to nurture something, it grows.
Take your marriage as one that needs nurturing and give it what it needs.
Spending quality time together is crucial for the growth of any relationship.
Try to plan special dates or surprises for your partner that align with their interests and passions.
It could be something as simple as going on a picnic or trying out a new activity together.
These small gestures show that you care and can bring excitement and spontaneity into your marriage again.
8. Show appreciation and gratitude
Expressing gratitude towards your partner is like a magic wand in building a healthy relationship.
Acknowledge the things they do for you.
It doesn’t matter how big or small; a simple thank you can go a long way in making your partner feel appreciated and loved.
Make an effort to also express your love and appreciation through small gestures like leaving love notes or surprising them with their favorite treat.
You will be surprised at how much gratitude can influence the atmosphere in your marriage.
9. Resolve conflicts peacefully
No relationship is perfect, and conflicts are bound to arise.
However, you need to learn how to handle these conflicts peacefully and respectfully.
Instead of pointing fingers or playing the blame game, try to communicate openly and listen to your partner’s perspective.
You’re on the same team, and finding a solution together is better than fighting against each other.
10. Keep the spark alive
As time passes, relationships can become routine and lose their initial excitement.
It’s important to make an effort to keep the spark alive by continuously doing things that bring joy and happiness into your relationship.
This could be planning surprise date nights, trying new experiences together, or simply expressing love and affection towards each other regularly.
In conclusion, maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners.
You need the right mindset to make it work; without that, even the smallest issues can become major problems.
Remember to communicate openly and honestly, prioritize each other’s needs, and always listen to your partner’s perspective.