How to break the silence in a relationship after a fight?
Fights, misunderstandings, and arguments are usual incidents in all relationships, including the ones we share with family, same-sex friends, and the opposite sex.
The romantic relationships we share with our partners are on this list too.
While some misunderstandings and fights are minor and get resolved in minutes or hours, others get so heated that the partners don’t reconcile.
The result is often an awkward silence that may last for days or weeks.
Sometimes, the silence lasts for a long time, and one or both partners don’t know how to break it and reach out to each other once more.
Other times, silence becomes an ego issue, where one partner uses silence to punish, control and manipulate the other.
If you are wondering how to break the silence in a relationship after a fight, here are eight helpful tips:
How To Break The Silence In A Relationship
1. Send a message.
I understand that facing your partner one-on-one after a fight and long silence can feel awkward and a bit out of place.
Thankfully, there are other ways to clear the air and convey your intentions.
Sending a message is one of the ways.
It could be through an email, a text message, or one of the social media chat platforms.
Either way, the most important thing is you’re attempting to ease the tension, break the silence and reach out to your partner.
The content of the message may be romantic, humorous, or a little apologetic and explanatory.
However, let them know how much the relationship means to you and how restless you’ve been since the fight and long-term silence.
Add that you’d love to talk.
Whatever works for you is fine.
2. Avoid the blame game.
It’s tempting to focus on who did what or not or how your partner is silent and has refused to reach out.
Trust me, this is normal, but it isn’t helpful, especially after the fight and the silence that followed.
You need to think carefully and answer this question:
Which of these is more important to me: the issues in our relationship or the relationship itself?
An answer to this question will help you to know what you should focus on.
If it’s your relationship, try your best and avoid blame games. Just reach out.
If you are more concerned about the issues, we’ll take all the time you need and apportion blame here and there, but I can assure you that this wouldn’t help.
3. Make a call.
You can decide to take it a step further by placing a call to your partner.
It may feel awkward, especially if they didn’t respond to your text.
You can call your partner and start a conversation by exchanging pleasantries.
Remember, this is about reconciliation and resuming your relationship after a fight, so you need to focus on that.
Say things to clear the air and make you both feel safe enough to have a conversation.
4. Have a conversation.
When you have placed a call and ended the silence between you two, it may be tempting to sweep your issues under the carpet or gloss over them because “we’re back together, and that’s all that matters.”
You need to address the issues between you two, or they will grow and show up another time to torment you two.
All you have to do is initiate a conversation about those issues and while at it, try not to be defensive and non-accusatory in your language.
Keep an open and understanding mind so you’ll be able to listen to your partner and achieve a win-win situation.
5. Admit where you went wrong and apologize.
At this point, it is essential to step up and own your errors.
You may not have started the fight, but at the same time, you didn’t handle things well.
It may be your fault that the fight started in the first place, or you may have said things out of turn or said hurtful things to your partner.
Whichever way you went wrong, render a genuine apology.
Point out where you went wrong and what you should have done, and let your partner know that you are genuinely sorry.
Let them also know that you are committed to behaving and acting better.
It will also make your partner apologize for their wrongs, and you two are most likely to kiss and make up.
6. Offer forgiveness.
By apologizing to your partner from your heart, you subtly push him to apologize.
When he does, forgive him from your heart.
7. Forgive yourself too.
We all make mistakes, and no one is perfect.
Moving forward, resist the temptation to bring up past mistakes and errors whenever you are in the middle of an argument or misunderstanding.
It shows you are not forgiveness, and it isn’t helpful.
8. Do something together.
Do something you two will enjoy.
It could be a casual hang out in one of your favorite places, a dinner date in your favorite restaurant, a short vacation, or anything you two enjoy doing together.
It will help renew and rekindle the spark between you two before the fight and the silence.
9. Get professional help.
You may make genuine efforts to reach out to your partner, but you fail either because your partner still feels hurt and sore or he’s using silence to punish you.
When it gets hard and unbearable, reach out to a relationship counselor or therapist to help you reach out to your partner and repair your relationship.
Individuals are unique and different, and so are relationships.
Don’t try these tips all at once.
Take it one step, one tip at a time, and be patient.
If your partner values you and the relationship you two share, he’ll come around, and you won’t need to make much effort to repair your relationship.
But if he makes it difficult for you and refuses to reciprocate your gestures, let him be and be confident that you tried your best.