“My boyfriend is not financially ready for marriage. We have been dating for some time now and I do not see any sign in his finances that he is ready for us to get married. We both desire to get married but he just does not have enough yet.”
Are you in a similar situation as the one above?
Are you and your boyfriend thinking about getting married, yet your boyfriend is not financially ready for marriage?
This post is for you.
It can be frustrating to be in a situation like this, but it is good to know where you are at the moment to enable you to know how to approach it.
A man not being financially ready for marriage is enough reason for the marriage not to have happened yet.
It may be that he does not have enough money or a stable job.
It can also be that he is not financially wise and lacks financial literacy.
Both of these things show that your boyfriend is not financially ready for marriage; it is essential not to rush into one.
Marriage is beautiful, and getting married to the one you love is one of life’s best experiences.
However, you need to know that marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
It is not a short-term arrangement that can be rushed into and will be over in a short while.
It is a long-term adventure that comes with new realities and responsibilities.
Starting from the event- the wedding- it doesn’t matter how small a wedding is, it will still cost money.
After moving into the marriage, financial readiness is even more required.
My Boyfriend Is Not Financially Ready For Marriage: 7 Steps To Take
1. Do Not Be Under Pressure
The worst thing you can do for yourself in a situation like this is to succumb to pressure and let it drive you.
It is understandable and okay to desire marriage.
However, it is essential to understand a marriage can quickly change from a beautiful thing that makes you happy to a sad situation.
Being in a financial crisis takes a toll on couples, and you do not want to walk into that knowingly.
So, don’t give in to pressure.
2. Do Not Put Him Under Pressure
Not only must you avoid pressure on yourself, but you must also avoid putting it on your partner.
What your partner needs right now is knowledge and financial help, not pressure for marriage.
It is okay to encourage and motivate your partner to do better but be careful not to put pressure on him.
Putting your partner under pressure is unfair, and it can also hurt your relationship.
Your pressure can scare him away or worse, make him rush into a marriage with you when he is not financially ready; this is dangerous.
4. Look At His Current Efforts
Sometimes, it is okay not to be there yet financially.
But it is unacceptable to be lazy and comfortable with where you are, especially as a man.
If your man is not in a great place financially, it is not an unusual state. But a man who has plans for marriage and wants to be responsible must be putting in the effort.
Observe to see if your boyfriend is working on getting better financially and if he is teachable.
A diligent man who is teachable and willing to be better may not currently have a lot, but he has good potential.
If he lacks all of this, that is a bad sign.
5. Are You Both Ready For Marriage?
Although money is of great importance, it is not all there is to a marriage.
While your boyfriend is getting better financially, ask yourself if you see a husband in him and if he possesses the qualities of a good husband.
To have a wholesome marriage, he must be all-around prepared (financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and so on).
Are you also ready for marriage?
Do you have a career plan?
If not, what money beliefs are you holding on to that prevent you from making money?
Is there any skill you can learn to augment your income?
Educate yourself and be sure you have the maturity and commitment it takes for a marriage to work.
6. Are You Also Financially Ready?
In many homes and cultures, the man is expected to be the greater financial contributor in the home.
But in the season and time we are in, the woman is now expected to be doing well financially too.
Take your eyes off your boyfriend for a minute and ask yourself if you’re financially ready for marriage.
Are you financially literate?
Do you have a stable job or business?
Do you save and know about investments?
At the end of the day, the financial success of your marriage does not depend on one person alone.
It depends on you both.
7. What Are You Both Doing About It?
Now that you know the problem – lack of finance- what are you both doing about it?
The solution to this varies depending on your unique situation.
He may need to get a new job or an extra job.
He may need to enroll in financial literacy classes and learn how to use the money well.
For your situation, it may be that you both only need to save more money.
Whatever it is, find out and begin to take steps toward it.
As we said, a lack of financial preparedness is enough reason for a marriage not to start.
Financial issues stress marriages. They can cause resentment between couples and can even end marriages.
It is good that you are aware of your limitations.
Now, all you both need to do is begin to work to fix it.
You may not fix everything overnight, but with consistent efforts and patience, you will see the result and good progress.
It is okay to not be financially ready for marriage at the moment.
But it is wrong to remain in that state and not put any effort to get out of that situation.