If you ask yourself, “why do I attract financially unstable guys?”, this piece is for you.
Read to the end to get possible answers and solutions to your question.
It’s an unwritten rule that great women should attract great men and vice versa.
As a law of nature, you like and associate with people with like minds as you.
Your brain can spot and attract things that it’s familiar with.
So if you have a great personality, you won’t feel out of place when you’re around great minds and personalities.
However, there are a lot of women who have broken that unwritten rule.
Still, they find a way to attract only financially unstable guys.
You see these women expend money, time, and energy on relationships marked to fail from the word go.
They become worn out in the end and no longer have the resources to look for or wait for Mr. Right.
It’s unfair to them and shouldn’t be happening from the onset.
Is this happening to you currently?
Are you always attracting financially unstable guys and don’t know why?
Do you want to put an end to attracting financially unstable guys to yourself?
Not to worry.
When you understand why you keep attracting financially unstable guys, it’ll be easier for you to find a solution to this nightmare and land your dream man.
Let’s look at some reasons you keep attracting financially unstable guys and the things you can do to be liberated from such shackles.
Why Do I Attract Financially Unstable Guys
1. You prefer to stick to the regular pattern
While you may be a great woman, your brain still does a good job of making a fool of you.
Naturally, the brain loves and is addicted to routines.
From the moment you’re born, you pick up patterns unconsciously, and repeat them when they work for you.
While your habits may not be the best, you’ll agree that they keep you alive and going.
And it’s such routines as this that make you attract financially unstable guys.
Perhaps your first relationship left a bitter taste in the mouth.
Your ex was financially unstable and irresponsible, immature, and couldn’t give an account of any money left in his care.
Because you were younger, you took it all in, so this first relationship sets up a pattern in your mind.
You think that’s how every relationship works, and you become comfortable with that pattern.
And as they say, what you don’t know is more dangerous than what you know.
So, even though that pattern is not good for you, your mind unconsciously seeks out and embraces it.
What you’ll do
It takes a lifetime for your brain to develop and support the patterns you choose for yourself.
You can’t possibly change them within the twinkle of an eye.
So, you need to be ready for a long and maybe, painful process if you want to see any changes in your regular pattern.
It takes more than love to make a relationship work.
Love is never enough to run a relationship smoothly.
You indeed need a change, but what you need is a change in the right direction.
When you’ve discovered what you truly deserve, you can compare it to what you were used to in the past- your old patterns.
How is your current relationship different from your dream relationship?
If you can answer this question comfortably, you’re a step closer to getting into the ideal relationship you deserve.
2. You love the thrill they bring
Most financially unstable guys tend to wield power over their partners because whatever they lack financially, they make up for in other aspects.
You’ll admit that the financially unstable guy you’ve been with makes chills run down your spine.
He’s an intense lover and makes you feel out of this world.
With him, you feel like a queen: the most special woman in the world, and you can’t imagine any other man but him showering you with love, affection, and attention.
However, when his finances deteriorate (which happens more often than necessary), you see the dirty side of him.
He fights you and makes you feel less of yourself.
But you’re okay with being treated like a queen this minute and worse than a thief the next minute.
After all, love has its highs and lows and is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Armed with this mentality, when you meet a financially stable guy who loves you, you’ll find him boring because you’ll think there’s no thrill in the relationship.
You’ll choose to remain with the financially unstable guy just because of the thrill.
What you’ll do
While the thrill sounds enticing theoretically, it is different in real life.
Think about spending forever with a man who snaps at you and fights you whenever he runs low on cash.
Imagine making plans to make some investments as a couple; you will surely fund them by yourself.
The truth is that you don’t need all that intensity.
What you need is a reliable partner with whom you feel loved and safe.
Love is a partnership that spans a lifetime and not a rollercoaster of emotions.
3. You see the potential in him
When you fall in love with a financially unstable guy, there’s this unconscious urge to fix him up and bring him up to your level.
Since no one wants to fall in love with an unserious person, you create an unreal idea in your mind by loving his potential instead of him.
You may truly love him, but you’re also in love with the idea of his future.
You stick with him because you hope he becomes financially stable and responsible in the future and will appreciate you for changing his life.
However, there’s no guarantee that his finances will become stable.
So you sit back and hope for a future that may never come.
What you’ll do
You’re a good person who wants to help others, but it’ll help if you realize that you’re not a superhero.
There’s a limit to the power you wield in other people’s lives, and you can’t help everyone, especially a broke guy who is not ambitious.
Even if you coerce this guy to change, it won’t last long before he returns to his old ways, I mean if he’s a lazy dude.
People always have a way of showing us who they are.
We’re the ones who are too blind to notice or too committed to accepting the truth before us.
Be generous but don’t waste your time and energy trying to make every broke guy a potential millionaire.
4. You have a fear of being alone
When you’re afraid of being alone, it’s easy to see why you might be drawn to financially unstable guys.
You figure that if you date guys struggling financially, they’ll never leave you.
The problem is that those men are often insecure about their finances, and it’s hard for them to let go of their money issues.
So they might even be controlling in other areas of your life.
5. You think that money won’t make you happy
You think that money won’t make you happy, so why bother being with someone who has it together financially?
Well, you may think that money can’t buy happiness, but having enough money to pay your bills and put some aside for rainy days will surely make you happier than being broke.
So it’s much easier to have a great relationship with someone who is financially available and reliable than with someone who is always going through financial troubles.
If your boyfriend is always stressed about money, you will not enjoy your relationship with him.
6. You’re compassionate
You’re very compassionate, and you have a hard time turning your back on someone who needs help.
You can’t just walk away when you see someone in need, even if it doesn’t directly affect you.
You feel like you need to do something about it—and that means putting yourself out there and getting involved, and before you know it, you are stuck with another financially unstable guy.
7. You’re afraid
Maybe you’re afraid of being with someone who has everything together financially because you think it means they’ll be controlling or callous.
People often worry about the relationship becoming too one-sided, where the person with more money always calls the shots. But that’s not how it works.
But when you’re dating someone financially stable, it doesn’t mean they will start making all of the decisions for both of you.
It just means that they might be able to provide for both of you in a way that feels good and safe.
8. You attract what you fear
Why do you attract financially unstable guys?
You attract what you fear.
You’re afraid of being alone, so you end up with a guy who can’t commit.
You’re afraid of being poor, so you end up with a guy who doesn’t have a job.
You’re afraid of being broke, so you end up with a guy who gambles away your money.
If you are too afraid, you may experience exactly what you are afraid of.
9. You are financially unstable yourself
You may also be attracting broke guys because you are broke yourself.
In this case, likes beget likes.
After all, your circle determines who you meet and probably date.
So if you are in a circle of broke people, it’s no surprise you keep attracting people like you.
I hope this article answers your question, ”why do I attract financially unstable guys?”
Understanding the why will help you to know how to deal with it.