”My husband makes me miserable; I’m tired!”
You married your husband because you loved him and desired to spend the rest of your life with him.
He made you a happy woman, and time always seemed to fly by when you were together.
There was never enough time when you were with him, and the butterflies fluttered in your belly.
But things have changed.
Drastically.
The man who was everything you had ever dreamed of now makes you angry, sad, depressed, moody, and cranky.
Or could it have been so from the beginning?
Maybe your husband made you unhappy from the get-go before you got married, but you did not know it would continue.
The worst part is that this happens consistently now, and you feel miserable in your marriage.
Your husband has made you miserable.
This has affected your marriage and even your mental health.
The flow between the two of you has also suffered from it.
It is normal to experience some downtimes in marriage, but in your case, it is not a seasonal occurrence; it has become his second nature to make you miserable.
This article will delve into the possible reasons why your husband is making you miserable and the best way to approach it and manage the situation in your marriage.
Why Does My Husband Make Me Miserable? 3 Reasons Why
1) He Is Miserable Himself
Ever heard of the saying, “Misery loves company?”
If your husband is miserable, he is likely to drag you down with him.
It may be intentional, but it may not.
The fact that you stay so close to each other and spend time together is enough reason for his misery to rub off on you.
Even if you are a happy-go-lucky person, staying around a miserable person will gradually kill your positive energy and enthusiasm.
If a miserable friend, colleague, boss, and neighbor can somewhat leave their energy on you, how much more a miserable spouse?
If your husband is miserable for some reason, it is only a matter of time before you begin to feel miserable like him.
So this is the first reason your husband makes you feel miserable.
2) You Are Not Compatible
The butterflies at the beginning of your union may have made you blind to the fact that you and your husband are incompatible.
You only recently began to recognize how very different the both of you are.
His inability to relate to you properly, his lack of empathy, failure to listen, see and understand you make you sad.
It’s getting frustrating and leaving you in misery.
Lack of compatibility is an issue of concern because it frustrates the relationship between two people.
This is another potential cause of your misery.
3) He Is Stubborn
A stubborn partner is difficult to live and deal with.
Your husband’s stubbornness may be one of the reasons he is making you miserable.
He is always a tough nut to crack, and you can’t seem to make progress with him.
It is easy to ignore a stubborn and stiff-necked colleague, friend, and even a distant relative but almost impossible when it’s your spouse.
Dealing with a stubborn partner is a battle and can make you miserable.
4. Lack of Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage, without it, there’s no relationship.
When communication fails, literally everything else fails.
If you and your husband don’t communicate well with each other, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflict that make both of you miserable.
You might think you are the only one who is miserable, but your husband might be frustrated by the miscommunication between you.
”My Husband Makes Me Miserable”: What To Do
1) Find Out Why
The first thing you need to do if your husband makes you miserable is find out why he does it.
Sometimes, placing your finger on the specific thing your husband does isn’t easy.
They may even be too numerous to count.
But you must sit down, collect your thoughts and pinpoint some of the biggest triggers.
Your husband may have many flaws, and that’s normal because he is human.
But there are some that you can easily tolerate, and there are others that can not be put up with.
This second category is the likely cause of your misery.
Identify them and take note of them.
2) Talk To Him About It
After identifying the issue or issues, the next step you need to take is to communicate with your husband about your feelings.
It may be he is not aware that he makes you miserable.
He may be dealing with some personal issues that make him act the way he does.
He may need some talking.
Sometimes, a conversation can fix a lot.
Other times, more than one conversation is required.
Whatever the case may be, do not decide without discussing it first.
You should also not let things continue the way they are and remain silent in your misery.
3) Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, it takes more than a conversation between the two parties in a relationship to sort issues out.
The challenges you are facing may be beyond you and your husband.
It may be an issue with just you, just your husband, or both of you.
After identifying the issue, you must be open and willing to seek and get professional help.
Your sanity and mental health do not have to be laid down at the altar of your marriage.
If your husband makes you miserable, it is abnormal.
Your marriage should not be the sole source of your happiness, but it should contribute to it.
A healthy marriage is wholesome and still conducive to be in, even when life and challenges happen.
A marriage that makes you miserable is a cause for concern, and you need to take immediate action.
Start by finding out the reason or reasons for the misery, then carefully find solutions to them.
Your partner may need a little help, and everything will be sorted.
Or it may reveal to you that your marriage is unhealthy and can not be fixed.
You can not know which it is until you have gone through the processes above.