“My husband won’t talk to me, why?”
When a woman asks this question, it implies she is in one of the most difficult positions a married woman can ever find herself.
It’s tough to know what to do when your husband doesn’t even talk to you.
This means that you really don’t know what’s on his mind.
You don’t know what’s going on in his life, and you certainly don’t understand what is going on with your marriage.
It gets even worse if he talks to everyone else because everyone knows what you don’t know.
It could be frustrating!
Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship for a reason.
Without it, how is your relationship meant to grow and flourish?
Without it, how do you ensure that your marriage does end up in a dead-end?
How do you even know how to get it out of the fix it is currently in?
All these thoughts are probably going through your mind, and you haven’t come up with any solutions.
Well… you have come to the right place.
In this article, we aim to explore the various reasons why your husband won’t talk to you but talks to everyone else and what you can do about it.
“My Husband Won’t Talk To Me But Talks To Everyone Else” — 8 Possible Reasons
To know what to do in this situation, you must first understand why your husband is treating you this way.
After looking into the various reasons why your husband chooses to talk to others instead of you, we can look into how you can turn this situation around and save your marriage from ending abruptly.
1. He is angry
If your husband suddenly stops communicating with you even while it seems like he spends more time outside talking to friends and relatives, it may be a sign that he is angry at something you did.
If you have done something he dislikes, he may resort to silent treatment.
Trust me, I am not a fan of such a cold war, but if this is happening, all you need to do is apologize.
Apologies don’t hurt. They actually help your relationship get better.
Also men, who do this, need to normalize communicating with their wives.
Silent treatment is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when the person you are angry at doesn’t know what they have done wrong.
Normalize resolving arguments with healthy conversations devoid of yelling and name-calling.
2. He wants more attention
Yeah, I know how it sounds.
Ignore your wife because you want her attention.
Instead of spending time with her, spend more time outside discussing with others.
Then, win her attention through this technique.
Choi! (Nigerian exclamation).
Such a roundabout way to go about seeking the attention of your wife.
It is weird, but many men do this.
If he feels like you don’t give him the attention you used to, he may end up cutting off all forms of communication between you.
It’s not the best thing to do in this situation, but if you feel like your husband is not talking to you, you may need to consider that he needs attention.
3. He wants to avoid conflicts
Now, you may feel like, “My husband doesn’t talk to me, and I don’t know why. The issue must be with him.”
But have you ever considered the way you interact?
Some people are naturally combative in the way they communicate.
I had a friend who used to be so defensive every time that it was a wonder if you managed to converse with him peacefully.
His reactions were always defensive and may invite conflict.
It got to the point that we would hardly talk to him about anything except shallow matters to avoid conflicts with him.
You may be giving off so many defensive vibes that your husband may feel conversation with you is like a sparring session.
This may be another reason why he would rather talk to someone else.
4. He is selfish
Now, you must also consider that your husband is highly self-centered.
If your husband refuses to talk to you about things happening in his life, you may need to consider that your husband is so self-focused that it didn’t occur to him that you deserve to be kept informed on what’s happening.
While some men stop communicating with their wives because of something she did, others are just plain selfish.
How do you know if your husband is selfish?
Check your lovemaking… does he just take without giving and leave you unsatisfied without caring?
Check your discussions… does he only talk to you about stuff because he wants you to do something for him?
If almost everything he does in the marriage is meant to favor him, and he doesn’t seem to be able to reach a compromise with you about anything, then he is selfish.
5. He doesn’t respect you
Marriage is not just built on love; it should also be founded on mutual respect.
Most of the time, when married couples communicate, they don’t just do it because they want to talk.
They do it because they respect their partner’s opinion and want to know what it is.
When your husband doesn’t talk to you but talks to everyone else, it may be a sign that he doesn’t respect you.
This is especially true if he seems to make major decisions without informing you until the last minute.
It’s a sign that he doesn’t value your input.
This is a tough situation to be in.
How can someone love you without respecting you?
6. He has fallen out of love with you
This is the worst-case scenario, actually.
If your husband no longer loves you, there are certain things he may stop doing with you.
You may kiss the intimacy you used to share goodbye because it may begin to seem like you are sharing your bed with an actual stranger.
Apart from the lack of physical intimacy, your conversations may cease to deal with deep things like his goals, aspirations, and dreams.
You may now focus more on trivialities like the weather, groceries, and lawn mowing.
If your marriage has settled into this monotonous pace, you may need to come to the acknowledgment that your husband no longer feels that passionate love he used to have for you.
7. He is in trouble
If your husband won’t talk to you but is talking to everyone else, there is a slight possibility that he is in trouble.
Maybe he is too ashamed to face you to tell you what is happening with him.
Or maybe he is afraid of your reaction.
This can also be a sign of immaturity on his part.
He seeks the help of others to clear up his mess while perfectly avoiding a conversation with you.
I once saw a movie about a dodgy husband in a big mess with the mafia who couldn’t tell his wife.
He kept running helter-skelter for solutions while keeping his wife in the dark because he feared she would leave him if she knew what he had gotten into.
You should check that there’s no skeleton hiding in the cupboard somewhere.
8. He sucks at communication
Some men suck at communication.
Scratch that… Many men suck at communication.
Many men prefer to keep things to themselves rather than communicate with the people they love.
He may even believe talking with his friends instead of his wife may yield more results.
This may be a result of societal conditioning and his upbringing.
But if your husband is like this, you may need to prove to him that you are not just in his life for the good times but for all times.
“My Husband Won’t Talk To Me But Talks To Everyone Else” – What To Do
1. Communicate with him
If your husband doesn’t talk to you but talks to everyone else, you may be tempted to return the energy and freeze him out.
Don’t do it; it’s a bad idea.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
You should talk to him instead.
Be honest and calm while you are at it.
Start on a positive note by telling him how much you love him before asking him what the problem is without making it look like his fault.
2. Appreciate him more
Perhaps you used to appreciate him more in the past, but you have gotten so familiar with him that you no longer feel the need to appreciate him as much as you used to.
I know they say familiarity breeds contempt, but that shouldn’t be allowed in your marriage.
Please make an effort to appreciate him even for the little things because they are sometimes the things that matter.
3. Don’t dwell too much on his shortcomings
While attempting to resolve an issue, it is not so unusual to wait to dwell on what the other person did wrong.
Resist the urge to do this because it won’t help matters.
It may even worsen your communication issues.
Focus on what you have noticed and how you have felt while attempting to proffer solutions for the future.
4. Be caring
Show him that you care enough about him to want to know everything about him.
Be curious about his day, what he is doing, and his plans for the future.
Try to listen to him attentively while he talks.
We sometimes want people to talk to us, but we don’t know how to listen truly.
Please practice listening carefully to him and see the wonders that will do to your communication.
5. Be firm
If your husband doesn’t talk to you because he doesn’t respect you, you may need to be firm with him.
Tell him you deserve to know those things he is busy telling others.
Apart from this, focus on self-development.
Achieve things that will not only show how competent you are but inspire his respect.
You need to remember that you are not doing this because of him.
You are doing this because we need to improve over time.
You are achieving things because you are passionate about being successful.
If it has the additional effect of making your husband respect you, so be it.
6. Get professional help
Many times, couples don’t want to explore counseling for situations like this, but it helps.
Whether it is couples counseling or you encouraging your husband to see a counselor to discuss his communication struggles, this might just be your joker card.
The crux of the matter is that lack of communication is detrimental to any relationship.
While you may feel resentful at your husband’s decision to talk to everyone else except you, you mustn’t return the vibe.
Communicating with your partner is the best way to solve communication issues.
Following the tips included in the article will work wonders in your marriage if you keep being consistent.