I remember feeling offended by what hubby said one day. So I got moody, gave laconic replies to his words, and frowned all over the place.
In my mind, I expected him to know that I was hurting, so I went on like that for hours while he carried on normally. He probably thought I wanted to be calm that day.
Then I remembered teaching at Sunday school that assumption is the lowest level of knowledge and a precursor to poor communication.
I put my teaching into practice and told him we needed to talk.
I poured out my mind to him, he did the same, and we were able to settle things amicably.
What do you need to stop doing in your marriage?
Snubbing your partner and expecting them to read your mind!
Just as you can’t always read your partner’s mind, your spouse is not a mind reader, so don’t expect them to know exactly what you’re thinking.
If you’re not happy with whatever they’ve done or said, open your mouth and talk.
Sometimes, both of you might be aware of the situation(s) that triggered your cold shoulder reaction, but your partner might not know which of their words you’re reacting to.
They might think it’s something whereas it’s something else. That’s why you need to make them know.
I hope that you have a partner who is always open to discussion.
Marriage is for adults. Adults talk, kids sulk. It’s a kid who ALWAYS needs to be asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
I understand that there are times we snub our partners for some time, maybe due to the gravity of their wrongs or you need some time to cool off and think things through.
A concerned partner should be bothered enough to ask you what the problem is.
This might not be easy for poor communicators.
They’d rather keep quiet and wait until you’re ready to talk.
It could be really frustrating, but understanding your partner’s communication style will help you to deal with the situation.
All I’m trying to say is, if you have something against your partner, let them know and don’t always wait for them to figure it out.
This is even more important for people in a long distance relationship/marriage because it’s very easy to misinterpret others when you’re not seeing their expression(s).
Talk more than sulk. Vent more than frown. Don’t wait until your facial muscles begin to protest with a headache before you open up.
Marriage could be hard sometimes, don’t make it harder by expecting your partner to be a mind reader.
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