Even though men can be so weird sometimes, they aren’t that complicated creatures when it comes to women.
They know pretty quickly if they see you as someone they want to build with or someone they just want to have fun with.
And sweet sis, the difference in treatment is night and day.
I’ve watched this play out over and over again, and I’m tired of seeing good women confused about where they stand with men who are showing them exactly where they stand through their actions.
Please share this article with your girlfriends because we are about to talk sense into each other’s heads.
7 Reasons Men Pursue Some Women and Play Games with Others
1. They Can Tell If You Know Your Worth
You’d think that a guy should automatically know your worth and treat you accordingly.
Hehehe.
No, sis.
I wish things were like that, but no.
If you don’t know your own worth, what makes you think a man will?
Because men can sense from a mile away whether you know your value or not.
A woman who knows her worth doesn’t accept crumbs and call it a meal.
She doesn’t reward inconsistent behavior with consistent availability.
When a man meets a woman like this, he knows he has to step up or step away.
There’s no middle ground here, no games, no testing the waters.
You either come correct or disappear.
But when a man senses that you’re unsure about your own value, he will play games with you.
He’ll test to see how little effort he can put in and still keep your attention.
He’ll see if you’ll accept late-night texts instead of real dates.
He’ll check if you’ll be okay with being kept separate from his real life.
Because if you don’t know your worth, he doesn’t have to treat you like you’re valuable.
Some men specifically target women who seem insecure or desperate for validation because they’re easier to manipulate and control.
A confident woman who knows her value is intimidating to a man who wants to play games.
But she’s irresistible to a man who’s ready for something real.
2. Your Boundaries Tell Them How to Treat You
This one puts some responsibility on us, but it’s true.
You teach people how to treat you.
A woman who has clear boundaries and enforces them consistently gets treated with respect.
A woman who has weak boundaries or no boundaries at all gets treated like a doormat.
Let me paint you a picture.
Woman A says, “I don’t do last-minute plans,” and actually follows through by declining when a man tries to make plans an hour before.
Woman B says the same thing but then accepts the last-minute invitation because she doesn’t want to seem difficult.
Guess which woman he’s going to pursue seriously and which one he’s going to play games with?
Exactly!
Men respect boundaries because boundaries communicate self-respect.
When you have standards and you stick to them, you’re showing a man that you value yourself.
And when you value yourself, he has to value you too if he wants to be part of your life.
But when your boundaries are flexible, when you make exceptions “just this once,” when you’re afraid to enforce your standards because you might lose him?
You’re essentially giving him a blueprint for how to disrespect you.
So, the ball is in your court.
3. They Know If You’re Relationship-Ready or Just Lonely
Men can tell the difference between a woman who wants a relationship because she’s ready to build something beautiful with the right person and a woman who wants a relationship because she’s lonely and desperate.
I know that loneliness isn’t fun, and one of the reasons we get married is to have a companion.
As much as I enjoy my company and love being in my space, sometimes I want a man in that space
But then, that shouldn’t make us desperate enough to settle for anything and anyone.
A woman who is relationship-ready has her own life, interests, dreams, goals, and happiness.
She’s not looking for a man to complete her; she’s looking for a man to complement her.
She’s selective, not desperate.
She’s adding a man to her already full life, not expecting him to become her whole life.
But the woman who’s just lonely will give off desperation vibes that men can smell from across the room.
She’s willing to overlook red flags because she’d rather have someone than no one.
She’s more focused on being chosen than on choosing wisely.
And unfortunately, men who want to play games are attracted to this energy because it makes their job easier.
They know you’re less likely to walk away, less likely to demand better treatment, and more likely to accept whatever scraps of attention they throw your way.
So, which would you rather be?
4. Your Availability Determines Your Value in Their Eyes
The more available you are, the less valuable you become in many men’s eyes.
It’s basic psychology; we value what’s scarce and take for granted what’s abundant.
A woman who drops everything when he calls, who’s always free when he wants to hang out, who rearranges her entire schedule around his availability, is telling him that her time isn’t valuable.
And if your time isn’t valuable, then by extension, you’re not valuable.
However, when a woman has a life that doesn’t revolve around a man, she becomes more intriguing and more worth pursuing.
I’m not saying you should play hard to get unnecessarily or fake unavailability.
Because you can play hard to get until you become hard to want.
I mean you should have a life that matters to you beyond whatever man you’re dating.
It means having friends, hobbies, goals, and commitments that don’t get tossed aside the moment a man shows interest.
When you’re genuinely busy because you have a full, meaningful life, men notice.
They have to work to fit into your schedule instead of expecting you to mold your life around theirs.
Do you understand?
5. They Can Sense Your Desperation (Or Lack Thereof)
No kidding, desperation has a smell, and men can detect it immediately.
Desperation is like a smoke; no matter how much you try to hide it, it comes out.
How?
When you are desperate, you’ll try too hard to be perfect.
You’ll avoid doing anything that might make him lose interest.
You’ll agree with everything he says, even when you disagree.
You’ll laugh at his dry jokes and pretend to like things you don’t like.
You’ll be so focused on being chosen that you forget you have the power to choose too.
How will a man take you seriously if you act like this?
Of course, he will play games with you because he knows you’re not going anywhere, no matter how poorly he treats you.
Now imagine an authentic woman who has opinions and is not afraid to disagree or challenge him.
She’s not trying to be perfect; she’s just being herself.
She’s okay with the idea that not every man will like her because she knows the right man will love her for exactly who she is.
Real men love women who will challenge them, so they’d definitely pursue this kind of woman.
6. Your Past Experiences Shape How You Show Up
You’d think after being hurt by men, the subsequent men you meet would treat you with TLC (Tender Loving Care) to prove that they’re not like your exes.
Awww..what a perfect world that would be, but since we live in this fallen world, I regret to tell you that wounded women often attract predators.
See, men can sniff out your emotional baggage from your first conversation.
Now, I’m not saying this to shame you; we’ve all been hurt, and healing isn’t linear.
However, some men can sense vulnerability and exploit it, and that is exactly how your past experiences can affect how a man treats you.
Because there’s a difference between a woman who’s been through storms and learned to dance in the rain, and a woman who’s still drowning in yesterday’s flood.
A woman who’s done her healing work shows up curious but cautious.
She asks questions because she’s learned to pay attention, not because she’s paranoid.
She has standards because she knows what she won’t tolerate again, not because she’s bitter.
She protects her peace because she’s worked hard to find it.
But the woman who’s still bleeding from old wounds is either giving her heart away to the first man who shows interest (because she’s desperate to prove she’s lovable) or she’s building walls so high that no good man can climb them.
She’s also likely to ignore obvious red flags or see red flags in green behavior because she can no longer distinguish between them.
Men know how to love-bomb someone who’s been starved of affection.
So if you’re still carrying your ex’s lies in your head or still trying to prove you’re worthy of love, baby, you’re not ready for the love you think you want.
And the universe will keep sending you lessons disguised as men until you learn what you need to learn about yourself.
7. They Know Whether You See Yourself as a Prize
Okay, this is where I need you to pay extra attention because this mindset shift will change your entire dating life.
There are two types of women in the dating world:
Women who know they’re the prize.
And women who think they need to win the prize.
The woman who knows she’s the prize understands that the right man will pursue her with intention.
She doesn’t compete with other women for a man’s attention.
She doesn’t chase, convince, or beg for love.
She presents herself authentically and lets men decide if they’re up for the challenge of winning her heart.
But the other type of woman is exhausting herself trying to be chosen.
She’s texting first, calling first, cooking fire, planning dates, making all the effort while he sits back like a king choosing from his royal court.
She’s so busy trying to win his love that she forgets to evaluate whether he’s even worthy of hers.
Men are wired to hunt, to chase, to pursue, and to work for what they want.
When you reverse the roles, when you become the hunter instead of the hunted, you mess up the entire dynamic.
You rob him of the satisfaction of earning you, and you rob yourself of the experience of being chosen intentionally.
When a man doesn’t have to work for you, he doesn’t value you.
We don’t appreciate what comes too easily.
You are the prize, sis.
Act like it.
Look, I’m not telling you to be fake or manipulative or play hard to get.
I’m telling you to value yourself so much that men have no choice but to value you too.
I’m telling you to live such a full, beautiful life that a man has to bring something real to the table if he wants to be part of it.
You attract what you think you deserve.
If you think you deserve games, confusion, unavailability, and inconsistency, that’s what you’ll get.
But if you know you deserve pursuit, commitment, love, partnership, consistency, and respect, you won’t settle for anything less.
And the beautiful thing about knowing your worth is that it naturally weeds out the players and attracts the men who are ready for something real.
You don’t have to play games to avoid being played.
You just have to value yourself enough that games become impossible.