Some inmates are very good at manipulating people and making them feel like they’re in control.
They know how to play their victims and prey on the emotions of others.
If you think your inmate partner is using you, you must know what to look for and how to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Here are some signs an inmate is using you:
15 Signs An Inmate is Using You
1. They ask for money constantly
If your inmate partner is always asking you for money, it’s a sign that they’re taking advantage of you.
They may say that they need the money for basic necessities like food or hygiene products, but in reality, they’re probably spending it on drugs or other luxury items that are anything but basic.
2. They’re always talking about their “sad” past
An inmate who is using you will often play the victim card and talk about all the bad things that have happened to them in the past.
They do this to gain your sympathy and make you feel sorry for them.
Don’t fall for it!
Inmate or not, nobody deserves to be used and taken advantage of.
3. They’re always flirting with other people
If your inmate partner is always flirting with other people, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in you.
They could be flirting with other inmates, corrections officers, or even people on the outside.
If you’ve caught them in the act many times, they might just be using you for their self-gratification and don’t care about you as a person.
4. The inmate doesn’t talk about their life before prison
Inmates who are using you will avoid talking about their life before prison.
This is because they don’t want you to know anything about them that could potentially make you not like them.
They’re also afraid you might find out about their criminal past and judge them for it.
If your inmate partner never talks about their life before prison, it’s a sign that they’re hiding something from you and probably using you.
5. They always want to know your personal information
An inmate using you will often try to get personal information from you, like your address, job, how much you make, how well-to-do your family is, etc.
They might say they just want to keep in touch with you after they’re released from prison, but in reality, they could be planning to use that information to stalk or harass you later.
If your inmate partner is constantly asking for personal information in a way that makes you uncomfortable, they might have something up their sleeves.
6. You never get to talk about anything other than prison life
An inmate who is a user only talks about himself/herself and never asks questions about you or your life outside prison walls.
This might seem like a good thing at first, but it shows that they are not interested in getting to know you better as a person (which is what any healthy relationship should be based on).
They are only interested in talking about themselves and their problems.
They rarely ask about yours unless they can use it as a way to make themselves look good or feel better about themselves.
7. They ask you to disobey prison laws, e.g., asking you to bring contraband
Asking you to break prison rules is a huge red flag.
No matter how much they say they care about you, if they’re asking you to do something that could get you in trouble, they don’t care about you.
They’re only interested in themselves and their own needs.
Don’t let an inmate use you.
Be smart and be safe.
8. They are unappreciative of anything you do for them
If your inmate partner is never grateful for anything you do for them, it’s a sign that they’re taking you for granted.
They might not even bother to say “thank you” when you send them money or gifts or visit them.
This is because they feel entitled to your generosity and don’t think they need to show you any appreciation.
9. They never talk about the future
If an inmate is using you, they will never talk about the future because they have no intention of actually being with you in the long run.
They might act like they’re interested in you and say sweet things, but if they never mention anything about the future, it’s likely because they’re only using you for what you can do for them in the present.
10. They always have a long list of errands they need you to run for them outside prison
Inmates using you will often ask you to do things for them outside prison walls.
This might include getting money or drugs for them, sending letters to people on their behalf, or even visiting other inmates on their behalf.
They might say they need your help because they can’t do it themselves, but in reality, they’re just using you to do their dirty work.
11. Family and friends tell you you are being used
If your friends and family tell you that they think you’re being used by your inmate partner, it’s probably because they can see what you can’t.
It can be hard to see the signs when you’re in the middle of a relationship, but if people who care about you can see that you’re being used, it’s probably time to listen to them.
12. You feel like you’re always the one doing the giving
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they are giving and receiving equally.
But if you feel like you’re always the one doing the giving and your inmate partner is always taking, it’s a sign that you’re being used.
Of course, there is only so much an inmate can do from prison, but there are some things an inmate can do to show that they are as invested in the relationship as you.
For example, they can write you letters, send cards, or even call you on the phone.
But it’s not a healthy situation if you are giving so much and they are never giving anything back.
13. They never make any effort to better themselves
They may seem sweet and harmless at first, but one of the signs an inmate is using you is that they never make any effort to better themselves.
They might say that they want to get out of prison and live better, but they never do anything to make that happen.
They’re content to just sit in their cell all day, with no desire to get a job, get rehabilitated, enroll in a training or do anything to improve their circumstances.
And if they’re not trying to better themselves, they will not be able to better your relationship.
They’ll leech off of your good fortune, and before you know it, you’ll wonder how you got mixed up with them in the first place.
14. They keep getting into trouble in prison
If they’re constantly getting into trouble in prison, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in changing their ways.
And if they’re not interested in changing their ways, it shows they are selfish and do not care about your relationship.
They’ll keep taking advantage of you, and they’ll keep getting into trouble.
It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s one you can break free from if you realize they’re never going to change.
15. You feel you are being used
This one is pretty obvious, but it’s worth mentioning.
If you feel like you are being used by your inmate partner, then you probably are.
It’s not a healthy situation to be in, and it will not lead to anything good.
This is a list of signs that your inmate is using you.
If you notice these signs, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship with the person.