10 Sure Signs He Pretends To Love You

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There is something worse than desiring to be loved and not being loved, it is being with someone who is simply pretending to be in love with you. 

While men do fall for women who don’t love them, we are likely to find more women in this bind because men rarely settle. 

Women, on the other hand, make a habit of settling and being blinded to a man that obviously doesn’t care for them.

If you are in a relationship, you should be certain your boyfriend loves you as well. 

If you find these signs in him, it is clear he pretends to love you.

10 Signs He Pretends To Love You

  1. He wants to keep you/the relationship a secret

I saw something recently on social media where someone said, “you cannot love someone quietly.” 

That resonated so much with me because it occurred to me that indeed, love is obvious. It is not vague; not to you and others.

 If a man loves you, there is absolutely no way he will want to keep you a secret or be kept a secret. 

In fact, he will get offended if your family and friends don’t know about him. 

Don’t misunderstand me, some people usually mistake this for being public; some people like being private but there is a difference between keeping the relationship private and keeping it a secret. 

Privacy means not talking about it on social media, secret means hiding you from people around him, and it’s a big sign that he pretends to love you.

2. You are not sure of your place in his life

Like I mentioned earlier, love is not vague; not to others, but especially not to you.

 If a man loves you, you will just know.

 If he is telling you he loves you and you are still unsure of your place in his life, it’s a sign that he is pretending to be in love with you. 

You might be insecure; that is always a possibility. But if you are sure it is not insecurity and you are just uncertain where you stand with him, you are likely right.

3. He never talks about the future with you

Imagine being in love with someone and not wanting them to be around forever.

 If he loves you, you will find yourself in his future.

 He will say more of “we”, “our” and less of “mine” and “I”. 

More often than not, you won’t even have to push for these things, he will make plans for the future considering you in the picture. 

You will find him talking about your goals and dreams to see how they align with his. 

4. He cares more about physical intimacy than emotional intimacy 

Let me be clear; a man that loves you will be physically attracted to you. He will want to touch you and be close to you. 

Even if you are in a relationship where you are practising abstinence, the physical attraction will be obvious, and sometimes, you will even feel it in the atmosphere.

 But a man can also be physically attracted to you without having any feelings for you. 

How do you know the difference? A man who loves you will also want to know you; he will be interested in understanding you and knowing what makes you tick. 

Your dates will not solely be about the physical, but getting to know each other more.

5. He’s only after what he can get from you 

A man that is just pretending to be in love with you can want different things from you; it could be money, connection, sex, attention, and anything he feels he can get from you. 

So, naturally, he will pretend to love you to keep getting what he wants from you.

However, a healthy relationship is “give and take”; a man who loves you will also give to you.

In fact, he will push himself to give more to you. 

Love gives; any supposed love that does not give is obviously not love.

6. Your family and friends don’t like him

Our family and friends are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for. 

These are people who have known you all your life/a long time and cared about you that long; believe it or not, they know you and have a good idea what’s good for you. 

Now, it is possible to have a friend or family member who might disapprove out of jealousy or any other selfish reason, but if all or a huge percentage of them disapprove, take a step back to investigate.

7. He’s unavailable when you need him

Apart from a lot of the things we enjoy when we are in a relationship with someone, one of the things we enjoy is that they are usually available when we need them to be. 

So, if you are with a man who is never available when you need him, chances are he is just pretending to be in love with you. 

There will be times when he is unavoidably unavailable, but if that always happens and he never makes you a priority, it is a huge red flag.

8. He is never to blame 

When two people love each other in a relationship and they offend each other, they will be quick to apologize and resolve issues. 

But when you are in an unrequited love situation, the person doesn’t care to resolve issues or take blames for them. 

Of course, sometimes you will be at fault but you cannot always be at fault and if he is never ready to take responsibility for his part, he doesn’t care how you feel. 

People like this are usually good at gaslighting; they always turn situations around on you.

9. He doesn’t challenge you to be better

A man that loves you wants you to be a better person. He will lovingly correct you when you are wrong and challenge you in areas you are slacking, but he knows you can do better. 

It is because he genuinely wants to see you win. 

But a man that doesn’t love you doesn’t care if you win or not, so he will never care about challenging or helping you become the best version of yourself.

10. You know in your guts

Trust your guts; if you just know in your guts that your boyfriend doesn’t love you, chances are he doesn’t love you. 

However, in order not to be rash, investigate and find out why you feel that way. What you should not do is ignore it.

The thing about pretence is that nobody can consistently act; they will slip up and these signs are some of the things you will notice when they do.

If you pay attention and notice any of these signs, rethink that relationship; he might just be pretending to love you.

Signs he pretends to love you

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7 thoughts on “10 Sure Signs He Pretends To Love You”

  1. I am in a Relationship with a guy who already have a child on his ex girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a couple of months now.. Yet, I still don’t know how to trust him. A lot of people saying that he is not good for me. Every time he sees a gorg sexy woman, he stick his eyes on them knowing that I am with him and compliments them as well.. Most of the time, I am paying on what we buy coz his finance isn’t that much. He’s not the man of his own words. Even if I love him, I tried to broke up with him but he doesn’t want to coz he told me he loves me.
    What should I do?

  2. Hello I have been dating this guy for close to a year now he has a daughter 4yrs old …,I celebrated this guy’s birthday bought him stuff I love him despite his not financially stable but when it comes to me this guy Never dose anything for me he always waits for me to ask before he gives …on my birthday he didn’t get me anything , Val’s day the same thing I put in more effort than he dose I always advise him to be someone better make sure he’s ok but this guy is fun of fake promises and never sticks to his word I want to know if this guy truly loves me because when ever I talk to him he’s like he really loves me that he has plans for me

    • If you want to tell if someone loves you, look at their actions and not just words.

      Let me be the devil’s advocate and say that, he probably doesn’t buy you stuff because he is financially incapable but what about the other red signals?

      Not sticking to his word, fake promises, and you putting in more effort than him?

      Aren’t these enough dealbreakers for you?

      If they are, I guess you can see the handwriting on the wall already.

  3. Hi I’m Sharon, and I’ve been with this guy for almost 4 years. I support him in everything, yet he doesn’t seem to appreciate. He talks about what I wear, the sport I play and most of all, he doesn’t seem to be happy with me from my achievements. He keeps making me promises that he loves me, but I am not sure, based on his behaviours. He seem to adore other girls on what they do and complement them.

    • Hi, Sharon! That’s a huge red flag there! I don’t know about you but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t support what I do.

      Your partner is supposed to be your number 1 fan. If he doesn’t sing your praises, who will?

      He might be insecure and low-key jealous of your achievements.

      A man who loves you should show off your achievements. He should be proud of you!

      You support him in everything and he’s unappreciative?

      I think you see the handwriting on the wall already.

  4. My name is Kalsoom the problem is that I have fallen in love with a married guy. We used to be good friends before coming into relationship,he already knew i have gone through hell in my life 1 broken marriage and a disaster relationship which broke me a lot,but still he tried his hard to bring me in his life and finally he succeeded because I was not dating anybody.its almost been 8 to 9 months we are dating.The problem is that in the beginning he made me used to of him he used to call me massaged me whenever he got time used to call me and we also used to talk at night.
    Now for the past few months he drastically changed his behavior stopped everything which he used to do for me.As per him this is not necessarily that we talk everyday and msg to each other as he is extrey very busy and he doesn’t do anything for me if does something always tell me I did this for u he prefers his friends facebook over me.If I try to tell him this is wrong so starts putting blame on me.I can clearly see he is not into me he just wanted to have fun.Please guide me.


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