And when a child is involved, sis, it’s even tougher.
As a new mother or even a not-so-new one, you may be dealing with the complexities of co-parenting with your ex-boo while trying to move on with your life.
But what if your baby’s father hasn’t moved on?
What if he still holds on to the hope of getting back together with you?
If you suspect that your ex is still pining for you, here are signs that your baby daddy is not over you:
10 Signs Your Baby Daddy Is Not Over You
- He frequently contacts you
Of course, you guys need to stay in touch because of your child or children.
It’s natural for co-parents to communicate about their child, but excessive communication that goes beyond the necessary arrangements is a sign that he’s still holding on to the relationship.
You might notice that when he reaches out, he has nothing specific to say or starts conversations that don’t really have any purpose.
He may be trying to find out if you’re still interested in him by feeling out the situation.
2. He gives you gifts or compliments
One of the signs that your baby daddy is not over you is if he gives you gifts or compliments even when there’s no special occasion.
It’s normal for him to be appreciative and show affection on special occasions, but if he’s doing it excessively and going out of his way, he may be trying to get you to notice him and see him in a positive light.
Even the Bible says, “A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.” Proverbs 18:16
If your baby daddy buys you gifts excessively and unnecessarily, he may be trying to win your affection and attention.
3. He’s jealous
Jealousy is usually a sign that someone has feelings for another.
If I don’t have feelings for you, why would I care who you’re dating or whatever you do with anyone?
If your ex becomes angry or upset when he hears that you’re dating someone else, or if he tries to interfere with your new relationship, he’s definitely not over you.
He may even go as far as badmouthing your new partner to create doubt in your mind and make you question your decision to move on.
4. He’s trying to impress you
When you are in love with someone, you tend to put your best foot forward and try to impress them.
You want to do everything in your power to get them to be happy with you.
If your baby daddy goes out of his way to impress you or win your approval, maybe by buying expensive gifts, as I wrote earlier, taking you out to fancy restaurants, or doing favors with or without you asking him, he may not be over you yet.
The goal is to make you impressed with him.
There’s no way he can win you back if you are displeased with him.
5. He’s always talking about the past
Relationships are all about creating memories with your partner.
The memories we share with someone are so meaningful that they can stay with us forever and make us remain connected to someone we love.
If your baby daddy still talks about the memories you both made from your past relationship or if he brings up topics and conversations related to those memories, he’s not ready to let go of the past yet and move on with his life.
He may be mentioning things he did with you while you were together, talking about how much fun you used to have or how happy things were when you were together.
These are all signs he still cherishes the memories he created with you.
6. He’s flirtatious
This is one huge sign your child’s father still wants to be with you.
If he flirts with you, it’s a sign that he still finds you attractive and wants more than friendship or co-parenting.
He may be subtle in his attempts to show interest, or he might be more direct by going out of his way to make plans and talk to you often, hoping to rekindle the romance.
You know him well enough to know when he’s being friendly and when he’s flirting.
7. He stalks you on social media
If your baby daddy regularly checks your social media pages or, even worse, creates fake profiles to follow you and see what you’re up to, it’s a clear sign that he’s not over you.
In this digital age, stalking someone’s social media is a way of keeping tabs on them and finding out what they’re doing.
It’s even the easiest way to get updates about someone’s life because people tend to share everything on social media these days.
If your ex is doing this, it’s a sign that he’s still interested in your life and wants to know what you’re up to.
8. He tries to guilt-trip you
He may use your child to get you to spend time with him or come to his place.
He may make you feel guilty for moving on by saying things like, “You’re spending more time with your new partner than with your child.”
His desire for you makes him forget that co-parenting is about putting the child’s needs first, not using them as a pawn in his game of love.
9. He’s always available
Your baby daddy might be a nice guy who is always available when you need help, even at odd hours.
But even nice guys have limits and won’t always be there whenever you need them.
However, if your baby daddy is always available to help you with anything you need, he may be trying to be in your good graces, especially if he wasn’t always this nice.
He may offer to help you with things that are outside of his responsibilities as a co-parent.
For example, he may offer to help you move, fix things around the house, run errands for you, offer you a ride home after a late night out with friends, and even babysit if you need him to.
While it’s nice to have someone who’s always available to help, if it’s your ex who’s doing it, there may be more to it.
10. He frequently hints that he wants his child to grow up in a stable family
If your baby daddy frequently talks about how important it is for children to grow up in a stable family or hints that he wants to get back together for the sake of the child, it’s a sign that he’s not over you.
He may be trying to use your child as an excuse to rebuild a relationship.
Well, what do you do if you notice these signs your baby daddy is not over you?
First, you should evaluate your own feelings.
If you still have feelings for him, it may be worth considering a reconciliation.
However, if you are not interested in getting back together with him, be clear about your expectations and boundaries.
Set boundaries on how much contact and communication you are comfortable with and what topics are off-limits.
It’s also important to be honest with him about your own feelings and intentions going forward.
Don’t give him mixed signals or string him along because you are enjoying the attention.
You don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are.