Marriage isn’t all about physical intimacy, but a few hours of watching TV shows may have you thinking that it is all that keeps a marriage going.
It is not.
In reality, every relationship has dry spells when it comes to physical intimacy.
A married woman once told me that physical intimacy is not food, and while it may seem like such a novelty to young folks, married couples have times when they would rather not do it.
It’s pretty normal.
What’s not normal is when it goes on for too long.
When couples stop sleeping with each other for a long time, it means there is a big problem in the marriage that needs to be addressed quickly to avoid the unfortunate consequences of couples not being physically intimate.
9 Awful Things That Happen When Couples Stop Being Physically Intimate
1. Frustration
When couples stop being physically intimate, it usually isn’t a joint decision.
It probably results from one partner refusing to get intimate when initiated by the other.
If one partner is interested in it while the other partner keeps refusing, they may end up feeling frustrated.
They have acquired so much pent-up energy and need an outlet to release it.
I, for one, understand the pain of bearing pent-up s*xual tension inside you without any outlet to release it.
There was this time I just kept on doing things I shouldn’t do.
Social media kept on bringing up those s*xually suggestive videos, and I kept on watching them.
Until I started feeling actual physical pain.
I had gotten so aroused that I had gotten blue balls ( a pain in your scrotal sac that every guy has probably felt).
I was in so much pain physically and frustrated because I had put myself in that difficult situation.
The frustration is even more for married couples who stop getting intimate because when you think the s*xual tension is going down, you see your partner again, and it goes right up.
This frustration could lead to several more serious situations, which we will consider later in this article.
2. Intimacy suffers
Permit me to first state that s*x is not the only form of intimacy couples can have.
Other forms of intimacy exist: emotional, nons*xual touch, and deep conversations.
However, most couples are their most intimate self when they are physically intimate.
This is when they meld into each other, physically and emotionally, if they are doing it the right way.
That is… If they are making love, not just making babies.
Because this is the major expression of intimacy for most couples, they may begin to lose intimacy when they stop getting intimate.
I am not saying that there are no exceptions to this rule.
Some couples have built their intimacy so much over time that they can be equally intimate with just a touch on the arm as with mind-blowing s*x.
However, these couples are very rare, and when couples stop being physically intimate, it spells doom for their connection in the marriage.
Intimacy is one of the major pillars of marriage; when it is gone, the entire edifice may soon start to crumble.
3. There is conflict
There is no relationship without conflict.
However, the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is what conflict does in both.
In a healthy relationship, conflict helps strengthen the bond between the couples.
They realize how much they need to grow through conflict and make efforts to improve.
In an unhealthy relationship, conflict leads to more conflicts until the relationship is like a mini warzone.
When couples stop being physically intimate, it may lead to intense conflict.
You must remember that I said that couples don’t usually sit down and agree not to be physically intimate.
When they stop, it is mainly because one partner is refusing to allow it, or life gets too busy, and they stop being intentional.
This will fuel a deep frustration that will soon lead to constant unresolved conflicts.
If a hungry man is an angry man, then you don’t want to see what a s*xually deprived man or woman can do.
4. There is a whole lot of resentment in the relationship
In a relationship, it is impossible not to offend your partner.
Partners usually offend each other, and this is not even necessarily a conflict.
It just means that you annoy the other person, they tell you, and you apologize… Simple, right?
That’s how it’s supposed to be.
However, it is not so simple when couples stop being physically intimate.
They start holding grudges against each other, which, in the long run, accumulates and ruins the relationship.
Resentment kills a relationship.
This is the general aftermath of a s*xless marriage.
5. Lack of trust
Trust is a central pillar of a relationship.
Just like love and s*xual intimacy, it holds up the relationship.
Any building expert will tell you that once one pillar is compromised, it affects the others because they start taking more pressure than usual.
It is the same thing with a relationship.
When couples stop doing the do, other aspects of the relationship also take a hit.
They may start having other issues.
The trust issue is one that majorly crops up in this situation.
Consider this scenario… You are a man, and you have a really beautiful wife.
In the beginning, your wife was always the one initiating physical intimacy.
It almost seemed like she couldn’t get enough of it.
Then, all of a sudden, she stops asking for it, and when you ask, she gives excuses to avoid doing it with you.
If this continues, you may start having issues trusting your wife.
You may start wondering if she is cheating on you.
If someone who used to be sexually active suddenly starts avoiding it, you may begin to think she is getting the satisfaction outside.
6. Self-esteem issues
When couples stop sleeping with each other, it comes with many other issues for the relationship.
However, this one is quite personal to the partner who still wants it but has been rebuffed so many times that they don’t make any effort to initiate it anymore.
Dealing with rejection can be challenging, and most of the time, it leaves you feeling inadequate.
The aftermath of couples stopping intimacy is that at least one of them ends up feeling like they are not good enough.
This is also another doomsday message for the relationship.
7. Insecurity reigns
When couples stop sleeping with each other for a prolonged period, they may lose their feeling of security in their marriage.
What’s the essence of marriage if you don’t feel safe with your partner?
You start having trust issues, and then you start questioning your status in the marriage.
Are you truly safe in the marriage?
Can your husband wake up one morning and say he is done with the relationship?
Can your wife file for divorce soon?
You start thinking all sorts of negative thoughts.
This makes it even harder for the relationship to work.
8. They cheat on each other
So, we have spoken of how trust issues make you think your spouse is cheating on you.
But now, we are because when couples stop sleeping with each other, they may decide to cheat on their partners.
One of the major causes of infidelity is s*xual dissatisfaction.
While you are not responsible for your partner’s decision to cheat, you must fulfill your marital duties to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Many times, couples that end up cheating on each other usually start by first putting a halt to s*xual relations in their marriage.
9. The marriage ends up in a divorce
This is the worst-case scenario; after passing through all the phases above, the marriage will most likely end here.
After so many conflicts that result from couples refusing to be physically intimate with each other, they may later decide that it is better to go their separate ways.
This is especially true after discovering that one or both partners have been cheating.
This is a sad way to end a marriage, especially if you still love each other.
To prevent these sad events from occurring in your relationship, you could attempt to resurrect your s*xual life.
How do you do this?
The first step is to sincerely talk with your partner about the elephant in the room.
Talk about those things that turn them off when doing the do.
If your partner avoids doing it with you, they are probably turned off by something.
Also, it is important to participate actively in lovemaking.
Don’t leave your partner to do all the work alone.
Physical intimacy becomes hard work when all the fervor is one-sided.
Be open to learning and trying new things.
Finally, you can explore the option of marriage counseling and engage the service of a professional marriage counselor.
Elizabeth
Thursday 12th of December 2024
Look. The worst thing you can do is have sex when you don’t want to. It’s soul crushing. SOUL CrUSHING. I can’t read articles like this anymore. When you continue following this kind of advice, and do all the tricks to put yourself in the “mood” have sex, make yourself available. Or he’ll cheat, or he’ll have “blue balls”. That’s manipulation . I have laid down so many times for my husband and thinking I was doing the right thing. But I hate him for not seeing what it was doing to me. I hate myself for not being allowed to be valued, and I hate articles like this that make sex an obligation. Sex is a beautiful thing that is an outgrowth of a good relationship. It is not something you are entitled you, or obligate to do. You have no idea the damage you will do to yourself having sex when you don’t want to. Yes even in marriage . So stop making it the center. Put ice on your god damn balls and value the person you are with more than your physical pleasure
Gary
Sunday 17th of November 2024
I understand all too well, it’s mean over a decade. There is that feeling like less than a roommate, just someone else in the house. Less caring more indifference and more resentment. Depression seems to now be a part of life and I don’t see a future, just being stuck.
Gary
Wednesday 4th of December 2024
@John, Dam that’s tough, medical things, pain and death are always a downer.
John
Friday 22nd of November 2024
@Gary, I’m in the same boat. I haven’t a physical relationship with wife since 2017 I had congestive heart failure and had to quit my Otr job and got on SSI worst mistake I ever made. Wife kept telling me me she was hurting to much and every time I moved she holl about hurting till I left the bed told myself I was doing right because of her hurting well things rocked on My Dad passed then Mom and I was left with some inheritance was is big word here she pretty much dropped a 100,000 in less than a year know I have nothing to show not even enough left to get a pair of glasses