Usually, when we talk about affairs, it’s about one married person cheating on their spouse with someone who is not married.
After all, it’s easier to say that the one who is single is not at fault because they didn’t make any vows to anyone, and so, they don’t have much to lose.
But what if two married people are the ones having the affair?
Two people who have both made promises to their respective spouses and have a lot at stake if the affair is discovered.
It’s like a double betrayal; not only are they being unfaithful to their spouses, but they’re also cheating on each other.
This scenario may seem rare, but it happens more often than we think.
When two married people have an affair, here’s what to know:
Two Married People Having an Affair: 14 Things It Means
1. It Means They’re Both Unhappy in Their Marriages
No one goes looking for an affair if they’re happy in their marriage.
Well, some do it for the thrill, but when two married people have an affair, it’s usually because they feel something is missing from their current relationship.
It could be a lack of communication, comfort, intimacy, or excitement.
Sure, there might be physical attraction and/or emotional connection between them, but ultimately, they’re seeking something they’re not getting from their spouses.
Only a hungry person goes in search of food.
If you are full and you are still out there looking for food, then something is wrong with you.
The same goes for two married people having an affair; they’re both “hungry” in their marriages.
Hungry for what?
That brings us to the next point.
2. It’s Not Just About Sex
Yes, physical attraction and sexual chemistry may have been the initial spark that started the affair.
But as it progresses, they start sharing more than just a bed.
They confide in each other, share their thoughts and emotions, and find solace in each other’s company.
They may even start to develop feelings for one another.
It’s not just about satisfying a physical need; it’s also about finding emotional fulfillment that they’re lacking in their marriages.
3. They Risk Losing Everything
Having an affair with anyone is risky, but when it’s with another married person, the risks are multiplied.
When two married people have an affair, they put everything on the line: their families, their homes, their reputations, and possibly even their careers.
If their affair is discovered, it could have devastating consequences for everyone involved, not just the two people having the affair but also their spouses and children.
They may end up losing everything they’ve built together with their spouse just for a temporary escape from their unhappy marriage.
4. There’s No Easy Way Out
Unlike in a regular extramarital affair where one person can end it if things get too complicated, it’s not that simple for two married people to have an affair.
They may both want to end it, but they also have to consider the consequences of their actions and how they will affect their families.
They may feel trapped, unable to leave their unhappy marriages or their affair.
It’s a messy and complicated situation with no easy way out.
5. It’s Not Always a Love Affair
I know I said earlier that it’s not just about sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s always a love affair.
We’ve all seen the movies where two married people have an affair and end up falling deeply in love with each other.
But in real life, it doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes, it’s just a temporary escape from their unhappy marriages, and they end up realizing that they’re not right for each other.
So, it could be purely physical and nothing more.
6. It Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Love Their Spouses
Just because two married people are having an affair doesn’t automatically mean they don’t love their spouses.
They may still have strong feelings for their spouse, but they’re just not getting what they need from their marriage.
It’s possible to love more than one person at the same time, and that’s the case for them.
7. It’s a Mutual Agreement
Unlike one-sided affairs, where one person is usually the pursuer (the married one) and the other is hesitant or unaware (single), when two married people have an affair, it’s often a mutual decision.
Both parties are aware of their marital status and willingly enter into the affair with each other.
This makes it different from cheating on a spouse with someone who is not married and may not fully understand the consequences of their actions.
But these two lovers understand what they are doing and the potential risks involved, so there are no excuses.
8. They May Be Trying to Save Their Marriages
Sounds strange, but sometimes an affair can actually help save a marriage.
When two married people have an affair, it may not necessarily mean the end of their respective marriages.
The affair might become a wake-up call for both parties to work on their own relationships and try to reignite the spark that may have fizzled out.
Not healthy, but sometimes it takes something drastic for people to realize what they have and make an effort to improve it.
9. It Means They’re Disrespecting Their Vows
When two married people have an affair, they’re breaking their wedding vows.
They promised to be faithful to each other, to love and cherish one another until death do them part.
But an affair goes against all of that.
It’s a betrayal of trust and disrespect towards their spouse and the sanctity of marriage.
And if they’re willing to break such a sacred promise, what else are they capable of?
It’s a slippery slope that can lead to more dangerous and unhealthy behaviors.
10. It Means They’re Living in Fantasy Land
Affairs are often about escapism.
Two married people having an affair are escaping the realities of their unhappy marriages and creating a fantasy world with their lover.
They may feel like they’re in love, that life is perfect when they’re together, but it’s not reality.
Eventually, they’ll have to face the consequences of their actions and return to their real lives.
11. It Means They’re Putting Their Emotional Health at Risk
Affairs might seem exciting and alluring, but the truth is, having an affair can take a toll on someone’s emotional well-being.
For two married people, it’s even more complicated because they’re not just dealing with their own emotions but also the consequences and guilt of betraying their spouse.
It’s a constant battle between love and guilt, and it’s exhausting, even as I write about it.
Now imagine someone who is in the midst of it all.
Not to mention the feelings of shame, anxiety, jealousy, and insecurity that can arise from having an affair.
12. It Means They’re Not Communicating Well
Another thing that an affair between two married people shows is a lack of communication.
Yes, if they were truly happy and satisfied in their marriages, they wouldn’t be seeking out someone else.
But instead of addressing their issues with their spouses, they’re turning to each other.
It’s a band-aid solution that may make them feel better temporarily, but it won’t fix the underlying problems in their marriages.
13. They Might Want to Leave Their Marriages for Each Other
In some rare cases, an affair between two married people can lead to them leaving their spouses for each other.
They may have developed real feelings for each other and realize that they’re better suited to be together.
But even then, it’s not a happy ending because their relationship started on the foundation of infidelity and deceit.
It’s a painful reality that will always hang over their heads.
14. It’s Not Worth the Risk
At the end of the day, having an affair as two married people is not worth the risk.
The excitement and temporary happiness that it brings are not worth potentially ruining multiple lives.
They may think they’re in control, but eventually, the truth will come out, and the consequences can be devastating for everyone involved.
If there are issues in their marriages, I think it’s better to address them and work on them rather than turning to someone else.
Even if you’ll remarry each other afterward, at least you’ll know that your relationship is built on honesty and trust.
While it may seem like a taboo or forbidden topic, two married people having an affair is more common than you think.
But that doesn’t make it acceptable or any less damaging.
In the end, we all have a choice to make, and I hope we choose wisely.