When A Married Man Says He Misses You: 6 Things It Means

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Should a married man be telling another woman, “I miss you”?

Hmm.

On the surface, “I miss you” sounds harmless; after all, friends miss each other, and coworkers miss each other.

So technically, missing someone is not automatically evil.

But then, words carry emotional weight, especially certain words, and “I miss you” is one of them.

If a married man says he misses you, and you are not his relative, you have to wonder what exactly he is missing.

A lot of people’s husbands are emotionally invested elsewhere while still legally married at home.

So, let’s see what is going on in a dear married man’s head when he tells you he misses you.

When A Married Man Says He Misses You: 6 Things It Means

1. He Genuinely Enjoys Your Friendship

 

Let’s start with the innocent possibility before we get to the messier ones. 

Sometimes, a married man truly enjoys your company as a friend.

That’s it.

No hidden agenda or secret hotel reservation forming in his mind.

It’s normal to miss people you enjoy talking to. 

We miss our friends and spouses because we enjoy talking to them. 

Also, marriage is not prison.

Being married doesn’t mean you can’t have friendships and relationships outside of your spouse.

In fact, you should; otherwise, you’ll choke your partner. 

BUT.

And this is a very important “but.”

A friendship with a married man requires emotional discipline because emotional closeness has a way of growing legs.

Especially when he talks to you every day, and even tells you things he doesn’t tell his wife, and you realize your conversations become more intimate than appropriate

That’s when “I miss you” stops being innocent. 

A good question to ask yourself is this, ”Would you feel comfortable if his wife sat beside him, reading all your chats?

Exactly.

2. He Likes How You Make Him Feel

 

Most people don’t repeatedly invest where they’re getting nothing in return, especially a married man who has a lot to lose. 

No married man will keep spending time with you if there’s nothing in it for him. 

So, a married man may miss you because he loves the version of himself he becomes around you, not because he loves or even cares about you.

Maybe you admire him, laugh at his jokes, listen to him, compliment him, make him feel interesting again, whatever it is you do for him. 

Never underestimate how addictive admiration is to some people, especially people who are ignored at home.

That’s why some married men become attached to women who make them feel desired and exciting.

So when he says “I miss you,” he means, “I miss the emotional high I get from talking to you.”

And that’s why some men who “miss you terribly” will disappear the moment their marriage becomes exciting again.

Yep. 

They used you. 

3. He’s Lonely in His Marriage

 

When we write about loneliness in marriage, we usually write about women, how they are emotionally neglected and crying beside sleeping husbands.

We talk about it so much that people sometimes forget men experience loneliness in marriage too.

A man can be living with his wife, sleeping beside her every night, eating her food, posting anniversary pictures, and still feel emotionally disconnected inside the marriage.

“Then he should communicate!” we say. 

Sometimes he had already tried.

Does that justify emotional cheating?

Not at all, but it shows why some married men become vulnerable outside their marriages.

Emotional starvation can make people attach themselves to whoever makes them feel emotionally alive again.

And this is how many emotional affairs begin, not with romance.

A woman listens to him, laughs with him, checks on him, and shows interest in his thoughts.

Everything he’s not getting from his wife, and before you know it, he starts looking forward to her messages more than he should.

And one day he says, “I miss you.”

That sentence has less to do with romance and more to do with emotional comfort, because what he misses is not necessarily you specifically.

He misses being listened to.

4. He’s Testing the Waters

Sometimes, “I miss you” is a soft launch to test your response.

If you respond with, “Awwww, I miss you too,” or flirt, he now knows the door is open.

Some men know enough not to move abruptly. They move gradually, especially married men who don’t want to look guilty.

So instead of, “I’m attracted to you.”

You’ll hear, “I miss our conversations.”

Meanwhile, temptation is already doing warm-up exercises in the background.

5. He’s Bored and Looking for Excitement

 

Some married men are not in love with the woman they’re texting. They’re just bored. Really, most of them are. 

Marriage becomes boring if you stop nurturing it.

It’s as simple as ABC. 

Without intentional nurturing, your marriage will become monotonous.  

Same house, same face, same schedule, same everything….

So instead of fixing the boredom inside the marriage, some people start looking outside for stimulation.

And unfortunately, attention from another woman is exciting to a bored married man.

Little wonder some men suddenly become very “friendly” whenever their wives travel.

Now they have the freedom to explore some excitement and hope they get lucky. 

May God expose everybody.

Amen.

6. He Wants Emotional Intimacy Without Accountability

There’s a category of married men who want the benefits of closeness with another woman without officially calling it cheating.

So they create emotionally intimate friendships and hide behind, “We’re just friends.”

Emotional intimacy is still intimacy because some people think cheating only starts when clothes start flying.

No.

Many wives are not crazy when they feel uncomfortable about certain “friendships.”

Women can usually sense when boundaries are shifting because many emotional affairs started as innocent friendships.

 

Not every married man who says he misses you has evil intentions, but not every situation is innocent either.

That’s the uncomfortable truth.

The problem with emotional boundaries is that people usually notice they crossed them AFTER attachment has already formed.

And once emotions enter the picture, common sense starts wearing slippers.

As a woman, the safest thing you can do is pay attention not just to his words, but to the pattern behind them and ask yourself these questions for clarification: 

Is this friendship becoming too intimate?

Would this relationship or friendship be appropriate in the open?

Am I slowly becoming his escape from his marriage?

People don’t fall into emotional affairs dramatically; they drift into them, one “I miss you” at a time.

 

 

 

 

 

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