What do you do when the other woman contacts you?
One disastrous piece of information to give to a wife is of her husband having an affair.
She’ll feel torn between choosing to stay and breaking her vows by leaving the marriage.
A lot of questions run through her mind:
Has he contracted STDs?
Is he leaving her?
Has he fathered children outside the marriage?
Such revelation can shatter the world of a woman who is caught unawares.
And just as she’s grappling with her present reality and trying to handle the extra baggage that comes with the unfortunate news, the other woman reaches out to her.
Can you relate to this painful scenario?
If you’re looking for the right steps to take when the other woman contacts you, this is the right blog.
Outlined below are tips that’ll guide you not to betray your emotions and mess things up when the other woman contacts you.
Let’s get started!
When The Other Woman Contacts You: 7 Tips To Stay In Charge
1. Allow Her To Talk
Understand that when the other woman reaches out to you about the affair she’s having with your husband, she aims to tell you all she believes you are in the dark about.
Let her do all the talking.
Any information you get from her at this time might help you in a divorce if you decide to proceed in that direction.
You may need to know the details of the affair if you plan to forgive your husband and stay in the marriage.
It’ll help you know the signs to look out for if you suspect he’s cheating again.
Listen attentively to everything that she says transpired between them.
You might learn one or two new things about your husband that he’s been hiding from you.
Ask her for specific details — times, dates, locations, and how they met in the first place.
Don’t just ask her questions about your husband; instead, throw in questions about yourself to know how much she knows about you.
You need all this information to know how best to proceed if the person you’re dealing with is a mental case.
2. Ask Her For Proof
No woman is without proof that she has been with any man.
She has pictures or text messages as proof she has been with him.
And if she refuses to bring proof of her involvement, you have busted her lie.
Ask her personal questions that only someone who has been with your husband should have answers to — if he has tattoos and the size of his package.
Be tricky with your questions.
Even if your husband doesn’t have any tattoos, ask her about the tattoo on his stomach, back, or somewhere else where she must have seen it if they were intimate.
If she says anything other than, “he doesn’t have a tattoo”, she’s telling lies.
Match every date she gives you with his bank card activity or work schedule.
Do not let her know even when you find out she’s lying to you.
If you let her know that you’re aware of her lies, she’ll come up with better lies to cause further confusion.
3. Do Not Trust Any Word That Comes Out Of Her Mouth
Don’t forget that this woman is not your friend, so she is not opening up to you to help you.
She’s opening up to you out of her selfishness and to clear her conscience.
It’s also possible that she’s doing it to get revenge on your husband for lying to her about his marital status or for ending the affair between them.
Whether she realizes it or not, her mission is to destroy your “happy” marriage.
The right step to take when dealing with her is to assume that everything coming from her mouth is lies uttered with malice and bad intentions.
She has already proved unworthy of trust by having an affair with your husband.
She’ll run findings on your husband and try to make their affair look deeper than it was.
Also, she’ll try to make her role in the affair look very little.
Try as much as you can to not fall for this tactic.
4. Look Into Her Motive
Because someone told you that she slept with your husband doesn’t make it true.
Some women feel that married men are a good catch.
If he’s a good husband to his wife, he’ll also be good to her.
When your husband turns her down, she’ll want to reach out to you to look for another way to get him.
Some women will go to every length to convince you they had an affair with your husband only to shatter your heart.
And when they achieve this, he’ll become available to her.
5. Do Not Divulge Any Information To Her
It’s typical of her to want to know if you knew about her.
She’ll want to know details about your marriage such as plans for children and other family-oriented plans.
She’s doing two things if she wants to get information from you.
The first is that she’s sizing you up as her competition.
She wants to find out if you can take your husband back from her.
And then, she’s trying to find the easiest way to end your marriage out of sheer vengeance or so she can be with your husband.
Avoid answering any questions she may ask about your marriage.
Instead, ask all the questions and let her do the answering.
If she wants to back out of answering your questions, remind her that you were on your own when she approached you with information on how she contributed to destroying your marriage.
6. Remove Her From Your Marital Equation
Get rid of her from your marriage because no matter her motives, she aims to destroy your marriage.
It doesn’t matter if she knew or didn’t know your husband’s marital status.
What matters is she knows now, and she could have just ended things with your husband.
She could have avoided him completely, leaving you to repair and enjoy your marriage.
But she chose to reach out to you and tell you about their affair and hope you’ll leave your husband.
Do not let her know anything about your marriage.
Even if she asks what you’ll do with the information she divulged, let her know that it is none of her business.
7. Confront Your Husband
Perhaps this is the most important thing to do.
Your husband is the one you have business with.
He’s your partner, not the other woman.
He’s the one who broke your vows, probably.
You are not sure but you are about to find out.
And if you have been suspecting his cheating ways, well, the other woman confronting you just confirmed your fears.
Whatever your situation is, you should communicate with your man.
However, take time to collect yourself.
Don’t confront him immediately after finding out about the affair; give yourself some time to process your feelings first.
Ask yourself what it is that you really want from this confrontation with your husband.
Do you want him to apologize for hurting you?
Do you want him to promise never to do it again?
Do you want him to tell you why he cheated on you?
Or do you just need closure so that this situation can be resolved once and for all?
Whether or not you choose to forgive your husband for having an affair is a private and personal decision.
Do not share this decision with anyone else, and definitely not the other woman in the picture.
No matter what went down between herself and your husband, never forget that she’s the enemy.
While you should not end your marriage based on the reports of the other woman, do not also turn a blind eye to the glaring evidence that’s unfolded to you.
Infidelity is a serious issue and should only be resolved between the husband and wife, not between the wife and mistress.