Why Do I Hate My Husband?

If you’re married, you know what living with a different human being is like.

You know that marriage isn’t always easy, and your spouse is imperfect.

There are probably many things about him that drive you crazy, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him.

What if your feeling is beyond the craziness of marriage, sleeping and waking to the same person every day?

What if you hate your husband?

Hatred shouldn’t be the emotion to feel for someone who should be one of the people you love the most on earth.

But you do.

You may even ask yourself, ”Why do I hate my husband?”

If you can’t figure out why you detest your husband, you’ll get the answer as you keep reading.

Why Do I Hate My Husband? Reasons

1. He’s selfish.

It’s hard to love a selfish husband.

While it’s normal for humans to be selfish sometimes, it’d be hard to love if your husband doesn’t care about your needs but always puts himself before the family.

Maybe you have complained about his selfishness, but he has refused to change.

This may lead to people resent you for him because there’s a limit to his selfishness that you can take.

If he doesn’t care about anyone but himself, there’s no need to show him care.

2. He never listens to you.

You feel like you don’t matter to him.

He never listens to you, or when he does, it may only be because he has to.

He doesn’t seem to care about your feelings and needs as he should.

His attitude is that his way is always right, and there is no questioning it!

3. He’s not a good father.

If you feel like he’s not a good father, it’s okay to feel that way.

You should probably feel that way because he isn’t a good father.

If he were a good father, he’d value and cherish his children—and can prove it in more than just words (or the occasional “I love you” before bed).

4. He resents you.

The other day I was conversing with a friend about how much she hated her husband.

She said, “I feel like he resents me for my success.”

It struck me that we often hear this from women whose husbands seem less successful than them.

People can resent you for many reasons, but in this case, your husband feels you’re holding him back or not doing your part in the relationship.

He may feel like you’re not giving him what he wants and needs from his wife regarding intimacy or being supportive of his career goals and aspirations.

5. He doesn’t communicate with you.

You don’t feel like you know him anymore.

You love your husband, but you are starting to feel as if he is a stranger living in your house.

He doesn’t communicate or tell you what’s happening in his life.

It could be because he has no clue how to start the conversation.

Men often think about things before they speak, which can be frustrating for both parties involved when trying to process them together as a couple.

He isn’t listening to his wife when she speaks.

Here is another issue that causes communication problems between couples.

Some men can be rude and disrespectful about things they don’t want to express publicly (like their feelings).

If these issues aren’t addressed early in marriage, they can become bigger problems later – like divorce!

6. He doesn’t put any effort into the relationship or household.

You feel like you’re the only one who puts effort into the relationship or household.

He doesn’t help with cleaning up after dinner, taking out the trash, paying bills, or doing laundry.

You do it all yourself.

You’re exhausted from doing all the chores around the house that he should be helping with.

It’s unfair for him to expect you to do everything while he sits back and watches Netflix all day.

7. You can’t stand how he talks about his ex or other women.

He makes them out to be evil and terrible people when they’re people with problems.

He doesn’t even know them – yet, he criticizes them!

You want him to stop doing this because it makes you feel like he won’t get over his first love.

8. He won’t admit when he’s wrong.

If your husband is unwilling to admit when he’s wrong, the problem will continue.

He may think you’re being petty or that his faults are not important enough for him to apologize.

If this is the case, point out that you’re not petty, but his refusal to apologize shows a lack of respect for you and the situation.

9. The physical connection is gone.

Physical attraction is different from sexual attraction.

The latter depends on factors such as how you feel about your partner, how well you get along with them, the strength of your relationship, etc.

The former is simply about the physical attributes someone has that attracted you to them–their eyes, lips, hair, etc.

But for sex to feel good (and I’m talking about regular ol’ sex here), both types of attraction need to be present.

If neither is present (or if there’s too much focus on one type), it becomes difficult for both partners to enjoy themselves during sex or in anything involving their bodies – like cuddling or dancing cheek-to-cheek at family events.

10. He hurt you in the past, and you haven’t forgiven him.

You’re still bitter about it what he did to hurt you.

You are yet to get over it, making you hate him daily.

Waking up beside him and seeing him every day aggravates your upset and anger.

It even makes you hate him more passionately because of the unresolved hurt.

We’ve read stories of women who killed their husbands in cold blood; some were driven to that point by bitterness.

Yes, offence is bound to come in marriage, but forgiveness helps cover a multitude of sins.

Its absence in a relationship can make the hurt fester, and bitterness creep in.

You might find that the man you once loved now disgusts you.

11. He has bad habits.

If he has bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, pornography, gambling, or drugs, or if he is a glutton and becomes fat—you might hate him for that.

You may even feel tempted to hurt him because of this.

Not only does it give you an excuse, but also the opportunity to inflict pain upon him without feeling guilty about it.

12. He doesn’t treat you well.

Another reason you might hate your husband is that he doesn’t treat you well.

Love will be the least emotion you’ll feel towards a man who mistreats you.

You will hate him if he yells at you and abuses you physically and emotionally.

Most women in abusive marriages usually have a love-hate relationship with their abuser – the husband.

15. You hate yourself and your life.

If you’re married to a physically or emotionally abusive man, then it makes sense you feel like your life is a total failure.

But if your husband is kind, loving, and supportive, but these negative thoughts about yourself and your life keep coming, talk with someone about how these feelings started.

You might either be stressed or depressed.

It is best to seek professional help so you don’t hurt your husband and yourself.