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“Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean To Me?” – 7 Reasons

“Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean To Me?” – 7 Reasons

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So, your boyfriend is being mean to you, and you don’t know what to do because he seems so nice to others.

In fact, the consensus of outsiders is that you are so lucky to be dating such a nice guy.

It is a difficult situation to take in when the one you love is mean to you while being nice to other people.

It’s so sad that you are being “treated like crap” when you should be handled like a treasure.

I know how confused and heartbroken you are about this.

Your life no longer has the love and affection it used to be filled with, and you are wondering why.

Come along as we discover why your boyfriend is mean to you and what you can do about it.

“Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean To Me?”- 7 Reasons

1. He has fallen out of love with you

why is my boyfriend so mean to me

It is painful when someone you love changes so suddenly that they become another person overnight.

In this scenario, one of the major reasons you should consider is that something has shifted in how they feel about you.

It’s even more painful when you have confirmation that someone who used to love you no longer feels the same way about you.

You probably feel caught in a whirlwind, tumbling through different emotions.


“How could he do that to you?”


“Why doesn’t he end it all if he doesn’t love me anymore?”

The thing is that many guys fall out of love with a lady and remain in the relationship because they don’t want to look like the villain.

They value their public image so much that they would instead remain in a relationship with a woman they don’t like and make her life miserable instead.

When she gets weary and breaks off the relationship, it takes the guilt off him.

In actual fact, he had been hard at working behind the scenes, sabotaging the relationship.

How? By being mean to you.

2. He is cheating on you

why is my boyfriend so mean to me

This is another terrible scenario but it is the most common reason a guy treats his partner differently.

When he suddenly starts to be mean to you, it could be a strategy to cover up his infidelity.

People have different ways of reacting to guilt.

Some acknowledge their wrongdoings and apologize for them.

Others try to escape the burden of guilt by treating their partners like they are the victims.

It’s a sad thing to consider but when a guy begins to act all blustery and mean, he probably has done something he doesn’t want you to ever know about.

3. He is finding it difficult to forgive you for something you did

Can you recall if you ever did something that hurt him so much?

Assuming he hasn’t fallen out of love with you and he is not cheating on you, then he may be struggling to get over something you had done to hurt him in the past.

Sometimes, men may find it difficult to forgive you, especially for offenses that severely bruised their egos.

It may be something you don’t even remember anymore, but it left such an indelible mark on your relationship that it may not recover from it.

I know you feel it is extremely petty for a man to hold grudges over something that should have been tossed into the past and forgotten.

However, this may be the reason he is being mean to you.

In fact, if you notice that he only acts mean occasionally, it may mean that he only acts mean when he remembers the incident.

4. He has anger issues

why is my boyfriend so mean to me

It’s okay to get angry.

However, there is a problem if your boyfriend gets angry frequently and can’t control his anger.

Flying into uncontrollable rage all the time can be very detrimental to your relationship and health too, because you are always living in anxiety, waiting for the next big storm.

This may be the reason for your boyfriend’s meanness.

Even though he typically loves up on you after each rage episode and sometimes says you tipped him off the edge, you need to know that you are sitting on a ticking timebomb…

If your boyfriend gets angry easily, you must know when to retreat to avoid being hurt.

You can encourage him to work on his anger issues and get professional help.

However, this should only be done if he is willing to change.

If he is not, you have a big decision to make.

Either to stay in a relationship with a hot-tempered man or to leave.

The choice is yours.

5. He is under pressure

why is my boyfriend so mean to me

There are certain challenging moments in our lives that we feel so weighed down by the burdens of life.

At these times, it is not unusual to snap and transfer aggression to others.

If your boyfriend seems to be facing major career decisions or struggling to come up with the solution to a nagging problem, he may have short reserves of patience and snap at you for even the most minor thing.

This is quite understandable.

However, he should learn to handle stress and tension without making everyone else walk on tiptoes around him.

If this is why he is being mean to you, you should tell him that you are there for him and ready to support him through whatever he is going through.

Making him know he is not alone in this should help him realize that you don’t deserve to be treated the way he has been treating you.

6. He is self-centered

Another reason your boyfriend is mean to you may be the fact that he is self-absorbed and really doesn’t care about any other person’s feelings except his own.

He cares about his needs more than yours and is basically unconcerned about meeting your needs when they don’t coincide with his.

He may see you as nothing but an object for satisfying his needs and this is why he treats you like an object with no feelings.

He only cares about you when it suits his needs, and the moment he is satisfied, he becomes mean again.

You are dating a narcissistic person, and that is enough to take a toll on your health.

If he shows no care or concern for you, he’s not worth keeping around.

Never forget this.

7. He has low self-esteem

There are several men out there who have low self-esteem.

They may project an image of being strong and self-sufficient, but beneath the whole façade, they are terribly insecure.

The fact is, day in and day out, your boyfriend has a charade going on out there, acting so nice and courteous around others.

When he gets where no one can see him, he unleashes the “beast” in him and lashes out at you.

Men with low self-esteem derive great joy from bringing others down, and if your boyfriend does this constantly, you are in an abusive relationship.

If your boyfriend is showing no signs of working on this issue, then your relationship with him might just be a headache you can actually do without.

“Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean To Me?” – What To Do

Honestly, it’s difficult dealing with a partner that is mean to you.

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions because you are trying to help them, yet you can’t help but feel some resentment towards them.

If you decide to put in more effort to fix your relationship, here are some steps you can take.

1. Discover where you might be falling short

Sometimes, your boyfriend is being mean to you because you are also mean to him, especially if he hasn’t been mean to you from the start.

In his mind, he may just be returning your energy.

In this case, you should consider if your behavior toward your boyfriend changed and if that could be the cause.

2. Get help mending your relationship

why is my boyfriend so mean to me

You may find it an uphill task to mend your relationship by yourself.

Enlist the help of your boyfriend to ensure that you are not the only one investing effort into saving the relationship.

Don’t forget also to have a support system of close friends to fall back on when things are tough.

Getting professional help may also be a viable option.

3. Be the woman he used to love

It may be hard to do this, but be the woman he used to love.

Try your very best to avoid being twisted up within by bitterness and resentment.

Please note that this doesn’t justify his actions in any way.

4. Communicate and let things out in the open

Effective communication is the key to resolving many conflicts in a relationship.

You should try to apply this strategy to the situation.

Choose a day to openly express how you feel about your boyfriend and how badly he has hurt you.

Pour out your feelings without holding back, and listen to him when he begins to state his side of the matter.

You can work out your relationship together this way.

Finally, protect your mental health and emotional well-being

You can cope with this, but you don’t have to stay in a relationship that no longer brings you joy.

If you’ve already communicated your needs – and he continues to treat you poorly, the way out is to move on.

I know how hard it is, but it’s not the end of the world.

You have a purpose outside of that relationship, and if you don’t know it yet, you will find it… soon enough.


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