Is there anything as a mature relationship?
I am of the opinion that people make a relationship, thus, the quality of a relationship is determined by the quality of the people in it.
So, I’d say a mature relationship is a relationship of two imperfect but mature individuals or individuals who are committed to making their relationship a success.
What are the signs of a mature relationship?
What qualities does a relationship exhibit for you to call it mature?
Below are ten of the signs of a mature relationship:
10 Signs of a Mature Relationship
1. It is Defined
One major sign of a mature relationship is that it’s purposeful and focused.
People in a mature relationship have a clear understanding of what their relationship is about and where it’s headed.
There’s no guesswork here. No one is wondering what the relationship is about because it is defined.
A lot of people are trapped in an undefined relationship—they don’t know if they’re dating or just being friends with their partner.
Some don’t want to ask because they’re afraid of the answer or being accused of giving off desperate vibes.
So they’re left to constantly ask themselves,
“What are we?”
“What are we doing together?”
“Who am I to you?”
“Where do I stand in your life?”
This is no longer a relationship; it’s a situationship.
One painful consequence of being in a situationship is muddled expectations.
Every relationship is accompanied with expectations.
Since your relationship is not mature enough to be defined, you don’t know what to expect.
2. Emphasis on Communication
Communication is the soul of a relationship.
The success of a relationship largely depends on the strength of a couple’s communication.
In a mature relationship, partners understand that communication is a prerequisite for a successful relationship.
So, no matter what is happening in a relationship, instead of making assumptions, snubbing each other or engaging in stonewalling, they find a way to talk about it so they can move forward.
One of the signs of a mature relationship is a couple’s ability to communicate in mature ways.
3. Partners Are Not Afraid of Having Difficult Conversations
I wrote on Facebook recently on the need for partners to be able to have difficult conversations.
Yes, it’s all fun and romantic to say sweet nothings to each other.
There’s a time for that.
But that isn’t all a relationship/marriage is all about.
To have a successful relationship, partners must not shy away from difficult conversations, no matter how uncomfortable they are.
One of the signs of a mature relationship is that partners understand the need to have tough conversations for the good of the relationship.
Maturity is the ability and willingness to do not just easy things but hard stuff.
4. Mutual Respect
You can’t call a relationship mature if partners do not respect each other.
As a matter of fact, this is one of the major signs of a mature relationship.
Partners treat each other with respect, regardless of their social status, physical features, and achievements.
While respect means different things to different people, we can all agree that some things are clearcut disrespectful e.g name-calling, physical abuse, lying etc.
Also, as a partner in a mature relationship, you treat your partner with respect in ways they find meaningful.
5. Mutual Efforts
Another one of the major signs of a mature relationship is, all hands are on deck to ensure the relationship works out.
The job of making the relationship work isn’t left to one person.
Unrequited effort is a huge trait of an immature relationship.
I mean, why start or remain in a relationship if you’re not going to be actively involved?
That’s immaturity at its peak.
Because maturity is being responsible, it’s showing up, even when it’s not convenient.
In a mature relationship, both partners show up and are responsible.
One person is not doing the calling, the apologizing, the visiting, the forgiving, the growing up, the disclosure etc.
You’re in a mature relationship when you and your partner put in the work to make it work.
6. No Sweating The Small Stuff
One of the signs of a mature relationship is that partners do not quarrel over every little thing.
It requires some level of maturity to let go of things that don’t really matter in order to achieve a greater good.
Not everything should cause a ruckus between you and your partner.
While there are some things that shouldn’t be overlooked in a relationship, you’ve got to let some things slide.
Maturity is knowing what to quarrel over and what to let go.
7. Reaching a Compromise
A mature relationship is not a perfect relationship.
It’s not a relationship where partners will always be on the same page or agree concerning everything.
People in a mature relationship understand this, and are always willing to communicate to reach a compromise.
They understand they won’t always have their way but they are willing to negotiate and reach an agreement for the sake of their relationship.
8. Ability to Put Ego Aside
A mature relationship is one in which partners put their egos aside to ensure the survival and stability of their relationship.
One of the termites that eats away at the health of a relationship is pride and this could show in different ways such as:
inability to accept your faults
refusal of a partner or both partners to apologize when are wrong
always wanting to be right
refusal to see things from the other person’s perspective and so much more.
In a mature and healthy relationship, partners value their relationship more than their ego.
They know that chemistry isn’t enough and that no matter how palpable the chemistry a couple shares, pride can ruin things in a blink of an eye.
You are not ready for a mature relationship if you value your ego more than what you share with your partner.
This doesn’t mean you should let yourself be trampled upon or take every sh*t dished out to you because you want to keep a relationship.
It means you should be mature enough to know when your pride is getting in the way of making things work with your partner.
9. Honesty is Key
Of what good is the maturity of a relationship if partners lie like there’s no tomorrow?
A relationship can be called mature when partners are honest with each other and do not play games with each other.
They prefer to hurt each other with the truth instead of comforting each other with lies.
They agree to be honest with each other and promise that their secrets are safe with each other.
It’s such a blessing to have someone you can be honest with no matter how hard or uncomfortable whatever you want to share is.
Because you know they can handle it.
Part of honesty is also knowing that a relationship isn’t working anymore, and agreeing to either work things out, seek help or call it quits.
Even though people in a relationship place emphasis on effective communication, it doesn’t mean they can always settle issues by themselves.
Maturity is the willingness to seek help when you hit a brick wall in your relationship.
In fact, it takes maturity to be humble and open-minded enough to learn from others who know better than you.
So, in a mature relationship, partners seek help from more knowledgeable sources such as relationship counselors, parents, elderly friends, mentors.
It’s important that you and your partner have people you look up to who can offer guidance and direction when you need it.
A mature relationship isn’t one without issues, it’s one where lovers are willing to give a relationship their best shot.