Discovering that a spouse cheated on you can give rise to a whirlwind of emotions.
Hurt, anger, disappointment, and sadness are just some common reactions.
However, in some women, there is a little bit of uncertainty.
That feeling makes them hesitate and wonder if their husband actually loves the woman he cheated on them with.
It may seem like a weird thing to wonder about after discovering that your husband cheated on you, but this need for closure is something that most women experience.
In fact, for many of them, it is what decides what steps they take.
If you are presently wrestling with this weighty feeling of uncertainty and wondering if your husband loves the woman he cheated on you with, this article will shed light on those signs that could indicate that your husband loves the woman he cheated on you with.
“Did My Husband Love The Woman He Cheated On Me With?”- 9 Signs He Did
1. He is unrepentant
The first response of any man caught cheating should be repentance or guilt.
However, if your husband loved the woman he was cheating or cheated on you with, his first reaction may be relief.
Relief that he can finally stop sneaking around and come out clean.
When your husband doesn’t seem to show any form of repentance or guilt for cheating on you, it is a sign that he loves the woman he cheated on you with.
More than that, it also indicates that he has fallen out of love with you.
Perhaps your relationship has been characterized by conflicts.
He may be using the opportunity of being caught cheating on you to end the marriage.
2. He always talked about her before he was caught
Most men wear their hearts on their sleeves, and when they love a woman, it is obvious for all to see, regardless of how well he tries to disguise it.
I have this female friend that I used to really like even though I never acted upon it.
Recently, we talked, and she told me that she knew I was attracted to her even when I tried to hide it.
She said it was obvious to her and a few other friends, but she wanted me to man up and express myself.
In the same way, a married man who loves another woman may find it hard to hide it from his wife because his little actions will express that love for the other woman.
When a man has a crush on another woman outside his relationship, he may mention her to his wife frequently.
So, you remember that when your husband told you about his day, and you noticed that this lady always seemed to be a part of his day.
If that is the same lady he cheated on you with, he probably loved her.
3. He compared you with her
When a man begins to compare his wife with another woman, it is a sign of dissatisfaction.
For a woman, there is nothing worse than your partner comparing you with another woman.
It can make you feel degraded and unworthy of affection if you do not have high self-esteem.
The saddest part is trying to be like that other lady without realizing that your husband is already cheating on you with her.
The fact is, if he compared her with you regularly in the past before you discovered their affair, it might be a sign that he loved her and the affair was not just a purely physical attraction thing.
4. He is emotionally distant from you
One of the major ways of knowing that your husband loved the woman he cheated on you with is that he got emotionally distant from you even before you discovered his affair.
You could tell his mind was not with you even when he was physically present.
You no longer had those long, intimate conversations that used to characterize your relationship long before you even discovered that he was cheating on you.
Now the cat is out of the bag; you notice he is still emotionally distant from you.
There’s just this chasm between you two.
This may imply that his affair with the other woman was not just physical; it was also emotional.
5. He stopped being physically intimate with you
A woman once complained about how her husband hadn’t touched her sexually for years.
She felt that it was just age catching up on him until she discovered that all that time, he was getting it outside.
The importance of sex in a marriage can’t be underestimated.
When it is absent, it is a sign that something is fundamentally wrong in the relationship.
Physical intimacy is one major activity that brings couples together in a oneness that allows all forms of vulnerability.
Sex is a huge part of physical intimacy, but it’s not all there is to it.
Little gestures like forehead kisses, neck kisses, hugs from behind, and brushing of hands when you pass each other can speak a lot about the bond in the relationship.
If you noticed that there was barely any form of physical intimacy between you and your husband long before you discovered his affair, it may be a sign that he transferred his affection to the other woman long ago.
6. He continues talking to her after the discovery
Here is another important sign to look out for.
If you discovered your husband cheated on you with another woman and he still keeps on communicating with the lady afterward, it is a sign that he is unrepentant about the affair and may still be harboring feelings for her.
The first reaction of a man who feels guilty for his actions is to completely cut off all forms of communication with the other woman.
When he fails to do this, even when he claims to be repentant and pleads with you to forgive him, it is a sign that he loves the other woman and may find it difficult to stay away from her.
7. He slips out her name sometimes
Have you noticed that he slips and calls her name unintentionally?
Now that the secret is out, if you have observed him whispering her name or mistakenly calling you by her name, he is hooked.
I regret to say that it was not just a casual fling they had.
That’s why her name is imprinted upon his heart.
8. He is finding it hard to move on
Okay, so the affair has ended, but your husband is having a hard time moving on.
This can be such a heart-wrenching place to be in!
First, he cheated on you and betrayed your trust, and now he is pining for the woman he cheated with. Heck!
Well, this can only happen if he fell in love with his side chick.
I once read an incredible story about a man whose wife forgave him of cheating on her on the condition that he break away from the illicit affair.
The man adhered to the condition but slipped into depression, and his wife had to deal with seeing her husband heartbroken over the other woman.
“Omo x one million!” (an exclamation of wonder).
If he finds it hard to move on, he must’ve loved her and is now dealing with a broken heart.
9. She brought out new sides of him
If you always knew your husband to be a certain way, and suddenly, after the affair, he is a different person, and he claims she brought it out of him, then maybe he loved her.
For instance, if your husband was antisocial, but this woman drew him out of his shell.
Please note that this is not to justify cheating in any way.
Seeing your husband in this new light may be shocking, especially if you have always desired him to be like this.
However, the fact that it took another woman to pull it out of him, a feat you couldn’t accomplish hurts like shards of a broken bottle.
It also points to one heartbreaking fact: he loved her.
“Did My Husband Love The Woman He Cheated On Me With?” -What To Do
Some say that cheating is not always a sign of falling out of love with one’s partner.
Married men cheat for many reasons: validation seeking, dissatisfaction with their marriage, or even out of boredom.
They may cheat as a result of unresolved conflict in their marriage or compatibility issues.
For some, it may have even been an impulsive mistake.
Regardless of the reasons behind cheating, it still remains a blatant betrayal of trust and a violation of the marital vows.
It causes a lot of damage to you, physically and mentally- It even affects the children terribly, leaving them scarred.
What do you do with a cheating husband?
Do you forgive him?
How will you bring yourself to trust him once again?
All these questions are probably going through your mind.
These decisions are not easy to make, and you may require a lot of counseling and healing to make the right choice.
Ultimately, the only person who can answer the question of whether your husband loved the woman he cheated on you with is your husband.
But more importantly, you need to ask yourself if you love yourself enough to do what is best for you, regardless of what he did or how he feels.
You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you.
You deserve to be happy, and I hope you find true happiness again.