“He says he likes me but makes no effort.”
Is this your situation?
Mixed signals can be one of the worst things ever.
Someone claiming to like you but failing to back their claim up with actions.
If a guy says he likes you, yet he makes no effort, I encourage you to keep reading.
You may be wondering why this is so.
If someone claims to have feelings and they’re strong enough, they should show, right?
Right.
There are many possible reasons for this, and we will explore them below.
“He Says He Likes Me But Makes No Effort”: 10 Reasons
1. His feelings are not strong enough
Sis, the fact that he said he loves you does not necessarily mean that he’s head over heels in love with you.
He may have superficial feelings for you and not really be interested in something serious.
This is a hard pill to swallow, but it is very accurate in some cases, and the earlier you realize it, the better.
A man who likes you and wants something serious with you will take actionable steps that reveal his intentions.
So, if he claims to like you yet does not attempt to prove it through his actions, it may be a sign that his feelings are nothing to go by.
2. He’s not sure
Uncertainty is another culprit in this case.
When people are unsure about something, they feel a sense of inertia.
No one wants to take steps in the wrong direction, and so, many times, we halt when we’re unsure of the decisions we’re about to make.
That might just be the case with this guy.
He likes you and knows that there’s something there.
He just doesn’t know what that thing is and if it should be pursued, so he makes zero effort.
While this may be annoying, it is somewhat reasonable because you deserve a love that is convincing beyond reasonable doubt.
3. He’s taken
This is a common reason and an obvious one.
If the man is taken, then there’s a high chance you already know unless he’s hiding it from you.
But if you are aware that he is either seeing someone else or married, then you shouldn’t be wondering about his actions.
He may have communicated his attraction to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is taken and unavailable for a relationship with you.
Even if he is not having the best of times in his marriage, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to come for you or end up with you.
And you shouldn’t be interested in him either.
You deserve your person.
4. You’re taken
On the flip side, you might be the unavailable one.
Either he thinks you’re taken, or you’re actually taken for real.
If a man knows or thinks you’re with someone else, even though he has feelings for you, he may not act on them.
The thought of pursuing someone who’s already taken may feel off to them and may not align with their personal values and principles.
5. The time is not right
He may like you and not be ready for a relationship yet.
This is a possibility.
So, his lack of efforts may not necessarily mean he is not passionate about you.
It may just mean he does not want to string you along when he’s not ready yet.
6. He’s comfortable with what you both have now
If he is happy with the situation, he may not see a need to put in any effort.
Maybe your current relationship dynamic favors him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
If you’re giving him all your time attention and probably even sleeping with him, what need is there for commitment?
He already enjoys everything he should get in a committed relationship and marriage, so chasing you can wait.
7. Fear of commitment
He might be commitment-phobic, and you’re not aware.
Some guys are okay with hanging out with you, telling you they like you, or even being friends with benefits.
But once they sense anything serious like a commitment, they go MIA (missing in action).
The guy in your case may have a serious phobia of commitments.
He may like you, but he’s never going to do anything to take the relationship to the next level.
8. You’re not the one
The truth is, if a guy is not putting in the effort, regardless of what he says, it may just be a clear sign that you’re not the one for him.
I know this is a bummer, but you have to face reality and realize that excuses such as “I’m busy,” “I’m not ready,” and the like are many times just a revelation of the fact that you’re not the one.
“He Says He Likes Me But Makes No Effort”: What To Do
1. Understand that you can’t change things
I would say you should try to understand the exact reason for his actions, but that is an unnecessary move.
You already have the main reasons listed above; you can pinpoint the likeliest cause in his case.
If you have been friends for a while and you feel comfortable asking him the reason for his actions, you may do so.
But it is not your duty to make someone chase you.
If their love is not strong enough to make them put in the effort, then maybe it’s not worth being given a chance in the first place.
2. Be okay with being alone
Prioritize yourself and save yourself from the torture of waiting for a man to put in efforts for you.
Mixed signals, especially concerning love and emotional matters, can take a toll on your mind and self-esteem.
Prevent that from happening by accepting the reality of things at the moment and choosing to focus on yourself.
3. Speak to him about it
Now, this is tricky, but it helps when you take the bull by the horns and ask him to define your relationship.
It will save you a lot of stress and heartache.
Instead of making assumptions, confront him and seek clarification so you can be on the same page.
He might just want to be friends with you alone, but how would you know unless he tells you?
Even if he refuses to come out clear with his intentions after asking, you can still decide what to do about the situation.
4. Trust your instincts
If you think his intentions aren’t right, then maybe they’re not.
Your instincts are valuable in situations like this and can help you determine what is wrong.
5. Make a decision
It is important for you to decide, considering all the factors surrounding this issue.
Next, you need to know if you should stay or move.
If the relationship is static and not meeting your expectations, it may be time to move on.
6. Set boundaries
Allowing people to randomly walk in and out of your life and play with your emotions is not good for you.
Setting boundaries in your personal life helps curb a lot of unnecessary things.
Make it clear to the people who come around you for anything romantic that you expect effort and commitment.
And after setting boundaries, stick with them.