Ever wondered how to get over being used by a married man? Read on and you will get your answer.
Women fall in love with married men for different reasons. Whatever reason yours was isn’t important, the main point is nobody enjoys being used and dumped.
You might have believed all the lies he fed you, especially about having issues with his wife and leaving him while he was just using you for your body.
I understand that it hurts badly and that’s probably why you are here wondering how to get over the married man who broke your heart.
Well, let me start by saying getting over someone married is just as difficult – if not more – as getting over a single guy.
But thankfully, it is not impossible.
You just have to know the right steps to take to let go of the married man and that is what this article will address.
In this post, we will discuss how to get over being used by a married man, how to break up with a married man who broke your heart over text as well as what to do when his wife finds out.
As I said, it is not easy to get over being used by a married man but it is not impossible. Time does heal all wounds, especially if you are ready to heal. So, let’s get to how to get over being used by a married man.
How to Get Over Being Used by A Married Man
I’m sure you’ve heard so much about letting the pain out by crying instead of holding it all in.
Well, that’s exactly what I’m telling you; let the pain out.
Now, I don’t mean you have to literally cry if you don’t feel the need to but don’t try to hold the pain in.
Is it painful? If yes, it is okay to feel it and let yourself feel it. That’s the first step to get over a married man who broke your heart.
Talk to someone if you need to, cry if you need to, shout if you need to. Just make sure to let the pain out and not hold it in.
2. Put Yourself First
It is about you now.
It is about how you will heal faster.
It is about taking care of yourself.
So this is the time to grow; the time to groom yourself, the time to develop and reinvent yourself.
Use the time you would have spent with him to learn a new skill, travel, develop your skill, get busy with your hobby, read a book or volunteer.
Whatever will make you happy and better should be prioritised at this time.
3. Forgive Yourself
I can understand how you might feel guilty for being with a married man, especially a married man that wasn’t worth it.
But dwelling on a past mistake will only keep you attached and your goal is to move on.
So, don’t stay in the past; there is nothing you can do to change it.
Learn from your mistakes, pick up the pieces and forgive yourself.
4. Put Off the Plan to Take Revenge
Abort any plan you have to take revenge. Not only is it a wild goose chase, but it will also not make you happy.
Ask those who have tried vengeance; there is no satisfaction in it. And it will be counterproductive to your desire to move on.
Leave him to his fate and concentrate on pursuing happiness and self-development.
The best revenge is to be happy.
5. Surround Yourself with Loved Ones
Be around people that love you; not people who are scared to hurt you with the truth but people who will lovingly tell you the truth.
This is because you might need someone to give you the hard truth when you get emotional and start thinking of doing something such as taking revenge or hoping that he will be back or stalking him or any of such acts that will simply harm you.
Also, spend time with them to take your mind off things; hang out with your girls or your family, talk to them, cry on their shoulders, chill and relax with them.
6. Block Him Everywhere
Block him on all social media platforms and destroy every memory you have together, especially pictures.
You can keep gifts or give them away if you find you can’t move on when you see them.
Some of these men break your heart and try to remain friends with you or at least, they say that’s what they want when we all know they are lying; they are probably looking for a way to worm their way back into your bed.
You need to make sure they don’t have that chance at all. Don’t give him room to contact you. And don’t fall into the temptation of stalking him either.
What to Do When His Wife Finds Out
What do you do when his wife finds out?
Well, as expected any woman that finds out her man is cheating will be hurt, so the onus is on you to get where she is coming from.
Find below three ways to handle it when his wife finds out.
If you’re in love with a married man, your feelings for him can make you react emotionally to his wife finding out, but the first thing I would recommend is putting yourself in her shoes; that would help you react more with understanding than emotionally.
She will probably be more emotional; she might react harshly because the truth is she probably has more to lose, especially if there are children involved.
So, you need to keep a level head and let her express herself if confronted. Some women might not confront you but if she does, try to understand how she is feeling.
2. Don’t Fight Her
In some cases, it is not the wives who go for the jugular but the other woman.
There is really no point fighting the wife for her husband.
She is the one who is legally married to him; the chances of him leaving her for you are slim, so leave her be even if she brings the fight to your doorstep.
3. Let It Go
Let the relationship go.
I understand it’s hard because you are already attached to him.
However, to save yourself from a further mess, you should let him and the relationship go.
How to Break Up with A Married Man Over Text
Usually, I wouldn’t support breaking up with a person over text because I believe that the time you’ve spent together is worth having a face-to-face conversation or at least, a phone call.
However, we all will agree that things are not always ideal. And with a married man, breaking up over text might be the way to go.
So how do you break up with a married man over text?
1. Be Direct and Firm
Now, I’m not saying you should be insulting; there are ways to let him know how you feel while being polite.
There is no point beating about the bush, backpedalling or sending mixed messages when you can go directly to the point; that you are breaking up.
However, you also want to be firm. Don’t give room for excuses or leave anything open-ended. You don’t want him trying to wiggle his way back to you; you want him gone, so be firm.
2. Make It About You
Yes, he might have done things you don’t like, he might have lied to you. But if you make it about him, he can sweet-talk his way out of it.
Let him know you are breaking up because it is not right for you.
3. Wish Him the Best with His Family
If you are feeling generous, you can wish him the best with his family.
You can also mention that you are in a different season in your life where you are seeking a healthy relationship.
And there is really no way you can have a healthy relationship when you are sharing him with his family.
What to Say When Breaking Up with A Married Man
Are you wondering what to say when breaking up with a married man?
The following are some of the things to say when you are walking away from a married man.
- It’s been a great time for the past … years/months but I am at a different time in my life right now and will like to break up.
- I just want to let you know that I’ve been thinking and I have decided going our separate ways is the best thing for me at this time.
- I thought being with you because I love you would make me happy. But all the secrecy and the guilt is making me unhappy. So I have made the decision to part from you. I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore.
- It’s important to me, to be honest to you. This relationship has to end, it is taking its toll on me and it is time I put myself first.
- I realised I got with you because I lacked self-esteem. Now, I want more. I want a healthy relationship and that’s something I can’t have with you. So I’m sorry, but this is me saying goodbye.
- I deluded myself into thinking I can be happy being the other woman but I’m not. I want to be someone’s one and only. Thank you for a great time so far but it’s time we went our separate ways. I wish you all the best.
- It’s time to say goodbye. I wouldn’t say it was all bad but I just realised I deserve something better.
- Thank you for all the fun times. Now, I will like to move on to other things. I’m sorry if you weren’t expecting this but I have made the decision to break up.
- This thing is getting messier. For my sanity as well as yours, it is time to say goodbye. I wish you all the best with your family.
- I know you probably weren’t expecting this but I’ve thought long and hard about it. I will like to break up. It’s time to part ways.
Of course, depending on the context, you can tweak the messages but these 10 points should help you communicate when breaking up with a married man.
In conclusion, some people might say there are benefits to dating a married man. I disagree because the heartache is not worth it at the end of the day.
Many women have been lied to by these married men that they will leave their wives for them but in most cases, that never happens.
So, it is better to stay away from married men to save yourself from the heartbreak of dating a married man.
That’s probably the best way to never have to worry about how to get over being used by a married man.