”I hate being a mom!”
If you are screaming this, I can relate.
I’m a mom of two kids under five and raising them with my husband, oceans away from our families.
So, being a mom is tough!
It’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all wrong, especially if you hate being a mom sometimes.
Feeling this way at times is normal.
Here are some things you can do when hating being a mom becomes too much:
”I Hate Being a Mom!”
1. Don’t feel guilty if you hate momming sometimes.
You are not alone.
As I said, I’m a mom, and I know that feeling can feel like it’s all you’ll ever be.
But the truth is, we all have moments where we don’t want to play with our kids or get them dressed in the morning.
It doesn’t mean anything other than that parenting is hard sometimes—and even if you love your kids, they can still get on your nerves sometimes.
As moms, we often put so much pressure on ourselves because of the idea that being a mother should always be fun and easy.
But what if it isn’t?
What if my house isn’t clean enough?
What if I’m not patient enough?
It doesn’t make me a bad person or parent; it just means I’m human.
2. Acknowledge your feelings but don’t let them define you or your life.
Remember that many of your feelings are temporary.
They come and go like the tide, often without warning or explanation.
You’ll hate being a mom one day and love being one the next.
Some days, you can’t wait for bedtime to crawl into bed with a book and drink tea alone for an hour before falling asleep.
Some days, an amazing moment with your child will make all the hard work worth it.
So, just because you feel like you hate being a mom now does not mean you hate everything about being a mom.
3. Don’t feel like you have to be the perfect mom.
This is hard to swallow, but you are not a perfect mom.
No one is, and no one ever will be.
The only thing you can do is try your best and do what’s right for your family.
And sometimes, that means making mistakes, but it also means learning from them and growing as a person because of them.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not doing things right—you’re just learning to improve.
This is something we all have in common: being moms who are constantly trying our best while also making mistakes along the way and hopefully learning from those mistakes.
4. Talk to your partner about your feelings.
One of the best ways to deal with your feelings is to talk about them.
Talk to your partner about how you feel, and be honest.
Ask for help if necessary.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mom is that it takes a village!
And the best way to get through those hard days when you feel like you can’t do it anymore is to have someone to lean on.
Whether that person is your partner, a friend or family member, or even just an online community, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for support.
5. Take some time for yourself every day
It’s important to take some time for yourself every day.
You need a break, even if it’s only five minutes of being alone in the bathroom.
If you don’t feel like doing anything, that’s okay.
Put on your headphones, listen to music, or watch something funny on YouTube.
Do whatever makes you happy—even if it’s just sitting there and breathing.
Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself.
This is one of many ways we can find ourselves again after being drained by motherhood (and other parts of our lives).
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about taking care of yourself either, especially other moms who are also exhausted but have no idea how badly they’re hurting their kids when they ignore their own needs just because they think good moms don’t take a break.
6. Take care of yourself physically and mentally.
You might have to cut some corners, but ensure you’re taking care of yourself physically and mentally.
You’ll feel less stressed and more able to handle your mommy duties.
You should get enough sleep and eat healthy food, which can help keep your energy up when the kids need it most.
You should also practice good hygiene, so you don’t get colds or other illnesses.
Try having fun with your partner, too, even if it means sending the kids to bed earlier than their bedtime.
7. Spend time with other moms.
If you feel like mom life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, reach out to other moms.
Talking with another parent who gets where you’re coming from can be powerful.
It helps to know that others share your struggles and triumphs and that there are people who can help you navigate them.
You might realize that you have similar feelings about being a parent as other parents.
Maybe the good experiences make up for the bad ones for them, which could motivate you to feel the same way about parenthood.
On the other hand, maybe their struggles make yours seem more manageable by comparison.
Either way, talking things out with another parent might give you some perspective on what it means to be a mom in this world today.
And maybe even open up some ideas of how best to handle whatever is bothering you as a mom.
8. Do something nice for yourself every day.
I know you’re tired, and your kids are driving you crazy, but self-care is key if you want to thrive as a mom.
Here are some self-care ideas to make yourself better:
-Take a bath and light some candles.
-Go for a walk or run around the block to stay active (you could even do this with your kids).
-Take a nap, especially when the kids are sleeping.
-Get a massage or pedicure.
Take care of yourself.
The kids will be fine without you for a while as you attend to yourself.
9. Be gentle with your inner voice.
Learn to be kind to yourself even when you hate being a mom.
Some might argue that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to be kind to oneself when one feels overwhelmed by the realities of motherhood (or any other overwhelming situation).
But this can be done by talking with yourself like someone else would talk with you if they cared about your wellbeing.
With all those thoughts going through your head like, ‘I’m such a bad mom’ or ‘I’m not enough,’ talk back instead of just internalizing everything.”
Say something like, ‘This is hard right now.’ Or ‘I feel tired.'”
By taking ownership over our feelings, we can empower ourselves while creating more space between what we think and what we say or do next.
This leads us back down the path toward self-love and serenity.
10. Remind yourself of what you love about being a mom
An important step to making peace with being a mom is remembering the things you love about it.
We often forget this, but parenthood isn’t all bad.
There are plenty of positives, and you don’t have to accept every aspect of your current situation as permanent.
Remember what it was like when your kids were really little and cute and sweet.
Remember when they were born, and everything seemed new and exciting?
Or how awesome it was when they started walking or saying their first words?
When I’m particularly frustrated at my kids’ behavior, I try to look back on those early days and remind myself why I wanted them in the first place: because they are amazing little people with so much potential for greatness!
I remember the things they do that bring a smile to my face.
Remember what you enjoy about being a mom when it gets tough.
It’s okay to hate being a mom sometimes.
It doesn’t make you a bad parent or even a bad person.
Remember that the feelings are temporary, and you can get through them with practice.
You may never love motherhood as much as others do, but following these tips on dealing with your negative thoughts and emotions will help you cope.
I hope this article gives moms everywhere some peace of mind.