It’s not uncommon for marriages to hit a rough patch, but if your husband has been neglectful or critical of you, your self-esteem has likely taken a hit.
It’s hard to imagine that the man you once loved could say or do things that would make you question your worth.
But if your husband has been tearing you down, putting you down, or making you feel like you’re not good enough, it’s time to take action.
You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to feel good about yourself.
Here are steps to start rebuilding your self-esteem after your husband has destroyed it:
”My Husband Has Destroyed My Self-Esteem!”: Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem
1. Acknowledge the Problem
The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem.
It’s easy to brush off your husband’s hurtful words and say, “he was just joking” or “he didn’t really mean it.”
But the fact is, if your husband is making you feel bad about yourself regularly, there is a problem.
Don’t try to downplay it or make excuses for it.
You may be tempted to do this because you don’t want to confront the truth that the man you love ruined your self-esteem.
But this is a necessary step you must take.
It’s common to experience hurt, dissatisfaction, and even anger after your self-esteem has been compromised..
Give yourself time to process these emotions.
Don’t try to bottle them up or ignore them.
Instead, allow yourself to experience them fully so you can move on from them more easily.
2. Talk to Your Husband About It
Once you’ve acknowledged that there is a problem, it’s time to talk to your husband about it.
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important.
Tell your husband how his words and actions are making you feel.
Be specific about what he has said or done that has hurt you.
And be clear about what you expect from him going forward.
If he doesn’t take your feelings seriously or tries to downplay the problem, that’s a red flag that he’s unwilling to change his behavior.
3. Seek Outside Help If Necessary
If talking to your husband doesn’t solve the problem, don’t be afraid to seek outside help.
Talk about what you’re going through with someone you trust.
This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or even your doctor.
Talking about your experiences will help you make sense of them and give you some much-needed perspective.
Regardless of who you talk to, getting outside perspectives can help regain your self-esteem after your husband has destroyed it.
4. Know You Are Not Responsible For Your Husband’s Behavior
It’s easy to blame yourself when your husband is behaving badly.
You may think that he wouldn’t be so critical of you if you were a better wife.
But the truth is, you are not responsible for your husband’s behavior.
No matter what you do, he has the choice to treat you with respect or not.
His words and actions are a reflection of him, not of you.
And no matter how much self-improvement you undertake, he may still choose to tear you down.
The only thing you can control is your behavior.
So please don’t take the blame for his actions!
5. Decide How You Choose To Respond to His Behavior
You may not be able to control your husband’s behavior, but you can control how you respond.
And this is an important distinction to make.
You can either let his words and actions control you and make you feel like less of a person, or you can choose to rise above it and refuse to let him bring you down.
It won’t be easy, but it is possible.
And the more you practice not letting his words get to you, the easier it will become, and your self-esteem will improve.
6. Spend Time with Positive People
Spending time with positive people is a great way to boost your self-esteem.
These are people who make you feel good about yourself and who make you laugh.
They might be friends, family members, or even co-workers.
Spending time with positive people will help remind you that not everyone is like your husband and that there are people in the world who value and appreciate you.
7. Do Things That Make You Happy
Doing things that make you happy is also a great way to improve your self-esteem.
Find things that make you feel good about yourself and happy.
This could be anything from exercise to reading to spending time in nature.
Just do whatever makes you feel good!
8. Take Care of Yourself
Make sure you’re taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep will help boost your mood and give you the energy you need to deal with challenging situations.
When you’re taking care of yourself, you’ll be in a better position to deal with whatever challenges come your way—including dealing with a husband who has destroyed your self-esteem.
9. Speak Positive Affirmations
Many people find it helpful to speak positive affirmations to themselves.
This means repeating phrases that are positive and uplifting.
Some examples of positive affirmations include:
– I am a strong and capable woman.
– I deserve to be treated with respect.
– I am worthy of love and happiness.
– I am not responsible for my husband’s behavior.
– I can choose how I respond to my husband’s words and actions.
– I am in control of my happiness.
Repeating these affirmations to yourself can help you to believe them, even when your husband is making you feel otherwise.
10. Seek Professional Help If Needed
If you find that you’re struggling to cope with your husband’s behavior and you’re struggling to improve your self-esteem, it may be time to seek professional help.
A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work through the challenges you’re facing.
If you decide to seek therapy, make sure to find a therapist who is a good fit for you and to whom you feel comfortable talking.
Professional help can make a big difference in your ability to cope with your husband’s behavior and improve your self-esteem.
11. Read Books on Self-Esteem
When it comes to healing and self development, knowledge is key.
And one of the ways to gain knowledge is through reading.
The benefits of reading cannot be overemphasized.
So there are many great books out there that can help you to improve your self-esteem.
Some of my personal favorites include:
– The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
–https://amzn.to/3WqSOhYEnd the Struggle and Dance with Life: How to Build Yourself Up When the World Gets You Down
by Susan Jeffers
– The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
– The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi
Reading these books (or others like them) can give you the tools and guidance you need to improve your self-esteem, even in the face of challenging situations.
12. Be Patient With Yourself
Finally, be patient with yourself as you heal your self-esteem.
The process takes time, and there will be ups and downs.
But as long as you are making progress, that’s all that matters.
So don’t be too hard on yourself if you have a setback.
Just pick yourself up and keep going.
If your husband’s words or actions have damaged your self-esteem, it is possible to rebuild it again.
By following the tips above, you can start on the path to feeling better about yourself again.
Just remember to be patient with yourself and to take things one day at a time.
Soon enough, you’ll feel like your old self again—maybe even better!