Infidelity is a gut-wrenching betrayal that can rip the very fabric of a relationship.
In an ideal world, every person who is caught cheating is supposed to be instantly sorry and remorseful.
Oh well, welcome to planet Earth, where many cheaters react in anger when caught, leaving you feeling confused, frustrated, and even guilty.
It’s crazy, I know, so let’s see why cheaters get angry when caught:
18 Reasons Cheaters Get Angry When Caught
1. Fear of Consequences
Really, who wouldn’t be sweating bullets thinking about the consequences of getting caught cheating?
Every cheater knows what they are doing is wrong, and they implicitly understand that their actions have strings attached, more accurately, chains of potential destruction.
So, when they are caught, their first thought is not of the person they hurt but of themselves and the repercussions they will face.
Their anger stems from fear, fear of losing their partner, their reputation, and potentially everything else in their life that may be affected by this betrayal.
Like “my world is crashing down around me” kind of panic.
And anger is often used as a defense mechanism to cover up that fear and vulnerability.
It’s easier for them to lash out in anger than face the consequences of their actions.
This also allows them to shift the focus away from their guilt and onto the person who caught them – making them the “bad guy” instead.
2. Protecting Their Ego
Cheating is a selfish act, and cheaters often have inflated egos that need constant validation.
Being caught in the act shatters that carefully constructed image of themselves as desirable and irresistible.
The anger that follows is partly due to their wounded ego and the need to save face.
They don’t want to be seen as the “bad guy” or the cheater; they want to maintain their image as a desirable, faithful partner.
When caught, their ego takes a massive hit as they are exposed for the deceitful and unfaithful person they truly are.
As a defense mechanism, they display anger to try and protect their damaged self-image.
They may even believe that getting angry will make them look less guilty and more righteous in the eyes of their partner.
But we all know that’s not how it works.
3. Guilt and Shame
Cheating is not something to be proud of, and that’s why it’s usually done secretly.
It’s a shameful act that goes against everything a committed relationship is built on – trust, loyalty, and love.
The cheater knows this deep down, and when caught, that guilt and shame can become unbearable.
In order to cope with these negative emotions, they may project their feelings onto their partner by getting angry.
Anger allows them to distance themselves from their own guilt and redirect it towards the person who caught them.
It’s a way for them to push away the shame and protect their fragile ego.
But they know that their anger is just a smokescreen for their own guilt and shame.
4. Feeling Trapped
Cheaters often believe that they can have their cake and eat it, too, meaning they think they can continue having an affair while maintaining their current relationship.
But getting caught means an end to that fantasy; they are now trapped in a corner with no escape.
This realization may cause them to feel resentful towards their partner for catching them and preventing them from continuing their affair.
Their partner has robbed them of their dream of having a family to come home to and a secret life on the side.
It’s just funny how the mind of the cheater works.
5. Losing Control
You ever have that feeling when you’re on a roll at a board game, and then someone pulls out a card that just flips the whole thing on its head?
That’s the kind of like the control cheaters think they have.
It’s an illusion, and when they’re caught, the cards are on the table.
They’ve been strategizing, sneaking around, thinking they’re the master of the game.
But now, the control they clung to slips away faster than and through their fingers.
Getting caught means they are no longer in control of the situation, and that’s a scary thought for someone who thrives on manipulation and deceit.
Nobody likes losing control, especially not the ones who thought they held all the cards.
Suddenly, the cheater is no longer calling the shots, and their carefully managed double life is exposed to the harsh light of day.
Instead of dealing with the mess they created, they throw a tantrum.
Think of a kid who’s been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, except it’s not cookies we’re talking about here; it’s trust, promises, hearts, and families!
These are people’s lives er are talking about here.
6. Facing Reality
I mean, come on, who wants to see their own mess without any filters?
Once a cheater gets caught, it’s like they’re looking in a mirror that shows all the lies and pain they’ve caused.
No more sugar-coating, no more excuses, just the raw truth staring back at them.
And it’s not a pretty sight.
This is hard for the cheater to face, especially if they have been living in denial or justifying their actions in their own mind.
But now, there’s no escaping the reality of what they’ve done and the consequences that come with it.
7. Loss of Trust
Trust is one of the most important foundations of any relationship, and once it’s broken, it’s difficult to repair.
No matter how much you try to straighten a bent nail, it will never be as strong as it once was.
The same goes for trust in a relationship.
Once it’s broken, there will always be a level of doubt and suspicion lingering in the back of your mind.
It takes time and consistent effort to rebuild that trust, and even then, it may never fully return to its previous state.
For the cheater, this means living with the knowledge that their partner may never fully trust them again.
You know, one of the scariest things about cheating is wondering if you ever knew the person you were in a relationship with.
Were they capable of this betrayal all along?
It’s not a good place to be in at all.
8. Avoiding Accountability
This is actually one of the main reasons cheaters get angry when caught.
They don’t want to be held accountable for their actions and face the consequences.
Their anger is a way to deflect responsibility and shift the blame onto someone else.
Instead of admitting fault and taking ownership of their mistake, they choose to lash out in anger and try to turn the situation around on their partner.
It’s a cowardly move, but it allows them to avoid facing the consequences of their actions.
Cheating is a selfish act, no doubt.
But do you know what’s even more selfish?
Getting angry at the person you cheated on!
It’s a classic case of deflecting the blame and refusing to take responsibility for their actions.
Turning the tables and getting angry at their partner is a way to shift the focus away from their own selfish behavior.
In their mind, if the attention is on how “crazy” or “insecure” their partner is acting, then they don’t have to face the consequences of their own selfish choices.
It’s no wonder a lot of cheaters are narcissists who only care about themselves and will do whatever it takes to protect their own self-image.
10. Lack of Respect
It’s bad enough that you are cheating on someone you supposedly love and care about, but getting angry for being caught in the act is a whole other level of disrespect.
It shows a complete lack of remorse and consideration for the person you have betrayed.
You are essentially saying that your partner and their feelings do not matter to you.
Yes, you have erred by cheating, and the least you can do is take responsibility for your actions and show some respect towards the person you have hurt.
But instead, you get angry for being caught.
That’s disrespect at its peak!
11. Sense of Entitlement
Ever met someone who thinks the rules don’t apply to them?
Welcome to the cheater’s world, the Land of Entitlement.
Some cheaters genuinely believe they deserve to have their cake and eat it, too.
When they’re caught, their anger is often a cocktail of disbelief and indignation.
“How dare you question me?”
”How dare you go through my phone?”
“How dare you not trust me?”
”Are you stalking me?”
All these statements stem from a sense of entitlement, where the cheater feels like they deserve to do whatever they want without consequences.
This is a dangerous mindset that can lead to more cheating and hurtful behavior in the future.
Do you know some cheaters are in denial about their own behavior and the consequences it may have on their relationship?
They may not even realize that what they’re doing is considered cheating or that it’s wrong, especially if it’s emotional cheating or micro-cheating.
When caught, their first reaction is often denial and blaming others for misinterpreting their actions.
Their anger is fueled by this denial and the refusal to admit they did something wrong.
They may even try to turn the tables on their partner by accusing them of overreacting or not trusting them enough.
Yeah, some cheaters are that clueless.
13. Lack of Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and no relationship can survive without empathy.
However, cheaters often lack empathy because they are more focused on their own needs and desires.
Their lack of empathy explains why they can hurt their partners without feeling remorse.
So, when caught cheating, their lack of empathy may manifest as anger towards their partner for not understanding or forgiving them.
They may see their partner’s hurt and pain but fail to truly understand it because they are too wrapped up in their own emotions.
Believe it or not, cheaters often have underlying insecurities that drive their actions.
They may feel inadequate in some way and seek validation through cheating.
Getting caught exposes these insecurities and can leave them feeling vulnerable and exposed.
To mask these feelings, they use anger as a defense mechanism.
Projecting their insecurities means they avoid facing them and continue pretending to be confident and secure.
15. Misdirected Anger
Sometimes, cheaters may not even be angry at the person who caught them; instead, they are angry at themselves.
Angry that they put themselves in a position to cheat, angry that they got caught, and angry at the consequences of their actions.
This misplaced anger can often be directed at their partner, causing them to lash out and become defensive.
16. Protecting The Affair Partner
When you admit to cheating, you open yourself to answering your partner’s curious questions, such as who the person was and what they meant to you.
I mean, most people would want to know what’s so special about the other person that made their partner cheat on them.
So, getting angry when caught, especially if it’s not redhanded, is an attempt to protect the affair partner from being exposed and jeopardizing their relationship.
It may seem counterintuitive, but many people who cheat feel a sense of loyalty and obligation towards their affair partner, even though they are also betraying their committed relationship.
They don’t want their partner to find out about the other person because it could potentially ruin things for them as well.
17. Frustration with Being Caught
No one likes getting caught doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing.
It is embarrassing, humiliating, and frustrating.
The cheater may feel frustrated that they were not as careful or sneaky as they thought and got caught.
They may also be frustrated with themselves for allowing their actions to be uncovered.
This frustration can quickly turn into anger directed towards the person who caught them and ruined their plans.
18. “Everyone Does It”
”Everyone does it!”
Do you know a lot of women believe that all men cheat?
This is a dangerous and damaging belief that can lead to justifying cheating behavior.
While some people may cheat, it is not fair or accurate to say that all men or all women cheat.
Cheating is a personal choice and should not be normalized or excused by societal expectations or stereotypes.
Yet, many cheaters justify their actions by making it seem like cheating is a common occurrence, so why make a big deal out of it?
This is just another way for them to shift the blame onto society rather than taking personal responsibility for their choices.
They get angry at their partner for not just accepting the cheating and moving on as if it’s a normal part of any relationship.
But we all know that cheating is never acceptable or excusable.
It’s a conscious decision to betray someone’s trust and break the commitment made in a relationship.
If you are wondering why cheaters get angry when they are caught, I hope I answered your question!