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“Can A Man Cheat And Still Love His Wife?” – A Hard Question

“Can A Man Cheat And Still Love His Wife?” – A Hard Question

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When a man cheats on his wife, a lot of things happen.

One of the many things that happen is the flood of questions and thoughts that invade the wife’s mind.

She feels betrayed and broken, thinks about many things, and even almost reconsiders her life and decisions.

By the way, who would blame her? Getting cheated on hurts badly.

She may even wonder what she did wrong and why he cheated.

Another thing that can run through her mind is whether or not her husband still loves her.

The question “Can a man cheat and still love his wife?” is one many women ask after experiencing infidelity.

I’ll just cut to the chase and answer the question.

Actually, yes, a man can cheat and still love his wife.

Heartbreaking but true.

Infidelity in marriages happens due to a lot of reasons, and many of them have nothing to do with love.

Although not a healthy or normal situation, love, and infidelity can sometimes be present in marriage at the same time; they’re not mutually exclusive, even though they should be.

That a man cheated on his wife doesn’t necessarily mean that he does not love her.

He can love her yet still cheat.


I’ll tell you why.

5 Reasons A Man Can Cheat And Still Love His Wife

1. He made a mistakecan a man cheat and still love his wife

When infidelity rocks a marriage, especially a happy and healthy one, many times, regret follows because the person who cheated realizes their wrong.

“Then why did they do it in the first place?” you may ask.

They made a mistake.

No human being is above mistakes, and although cheating on your partner is an expensive mistake to make, the truth is that it can happen, and when it does, it is followed by great remorse and regrets. 

Bear in mind that cheating does not necessarily have to involve sexual relations; it can be as simple as an emotional entanglement. 

A loving husband can mistakenly get involved with another woman, and his love for his wife may remain intact. 

The man knows that he loves his wife and never stopped loving her, but for some reason, he stumbled, and compromised.

One such reason is poor boundaries.

Maybe the man didn’t prioritize setting clear boundary lines with the opposite sex and in a moment of weakness, he betrayed his wife’s trust.

Sad, but these things happen.

2. He believes that it is normalcan a man cheat and still love his wife

Right now, we are in the 21st century, yet some men still struggle with the idea of monogamy.

They do not think having just one wife or being with just one woman is OK.

They believe they were naturally wired to be polygamists, and so they go after other women but still claim to love their wives.

I find it even more interesting that men say they can love more than one woman wholeheartedly.

You only have one heart; how can you love more than one person romantically with it?

But at the end of the day, people have different belief systems and mindsets, and some may argue that such love is not real, but who are we to judge that?

One important thing is that the woman involved recognizes his mindset and decides if it’s compatible with hers.

A man who believes he was made for more than one woman may show his wife much love and affection and still have some space for other women.

Is this ideal? No, it’s not.

But you can’t change a full-grown man’s mindset.

What you can do is decide if you will remain in his life.

3. He is confused

Some men do not understand the concept of love and commitment well enough.

They have not fully grasped that when you have chosen to love someone, especially to the point of marriage, you stay loyal and stick with them no matter what. 

So, they may get distracted at some point in their marriage by someone else and cheat, only to realize later that their wife is very precious and means more to them than their affair partner.

As a result, their love for their wife will grow even though they cheated because now they know that “the grass is not greener on the other side.”

Some are unfortunate and lose the good woman they have, after all.

This confusion can also play out in seasons where the man is dealing with so much or when there is a strain on the relationship for whatever reason.

An African proverb talks about not throwing the baby away with the bath water, but this is what these kinds of men do, and the scale doesn’t fall off their eyes until Olympus has fallen.

How sad!

4. Personal issuescan a man cheat and still love his wife

Infidelity stems more from internal issues than external ones.

External issues can cause infidelity, no doubt, but only in a few cases, and many times, they’re just amplifying the internal ones.

Some men struggle with issues like addiction to harmful substances, pornography, or sex, or other issues such as low self-esteem, mental health issues, and so on.

These issues may be rooted in low self-esteem or unhealed trauma.

When these issues overwhelm them, instead of seeking help, they may resort to cheating on their partner.

The fact that they cheated may not nullify the fact that they love their wife.

They just have unresolved issues with themselves, leading to poor decisions.

Of course, if they do not address and handle these issues, they will keep reoccurring.

Therapy is highly advised in this case.

5. Negative influencecan a man cheat and still love his wife

Sometimes, we’re influenced by people or things to do things that we ordinarily wouldn’t do, which often leads to regrets.

One of the reasons why a man can cheat yet still loves his wife is because he was influenced to cheat.

He may have a happy marriage and be madly in love with his wife.

Still, if he is always in the company of men who cheat or constantly interacting with communities where cheating is normalized, he may find himself walking in the same path one day.

Similarly, this negative influence can be due to family pressure in Africa.

For instance, if the man and his wife are TTC (trying to conceive) and the man’s family gets impatient, they can pressure him to have an extramarital affair.

Some men cave into pressure from their families not because they don’t love their wives but because they haven’t built the strength to stand against their family or they were manipulated to do it.

However, if a man is a constant unrepentant cheat, then the love he professes is questionable.

Infidelity does a lot of damage, and eroding the love in a marriage is one of them.

Conversely, cheating can also diminish the love a man has for his wife because exposure to other women and experiences may alter his perception and feelings. 

This is why, with infidelity, it is better not to start at all because you never know how far things can go in the wrong direction. 


So yes, a man can cheat and still love his wife, but it is also possible for the love to fade from that event.

There are no rules guiding these things.

Love is seen in our actions, decisions, and behavior, what you choose to do to the person you claim to be committed to.

It is impossible to constantly hurt, betray, and disrespect someone if you love them. 

Any woman dealing with a cheating husband needs to carefully consider the situation and decide what’s best for her and her peace of mind. 

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