“I cheated on my loyal boyfriend, and I have been feeling bad about it. It happened not too long ago, and I have been plagued with guilt and a feeling of devastation. Now, I keep wondering, ‘Should I tell my boyfriend I cheated?’. I don’t know what the right step to take is, and I am scared of hurting him… ”
From this question, it is safe to assume that you stepped out on your partner once, twice, or more times, and you feel guilty about it.
Unless you and your partner earlier agreed to start an open, non-exclusive, or non-monogamous relationship, you both are expected to be committed and exclusive to each other, with no cheating allowed.
One party cheating on the other is, therefore, unfair and unacceptable.
Cheating is not limited to engaging in sexual relations with another person alone.
It involves other forms of entanglements and relations as well.
While some may argue this, you can cheat on your partner without necessarily having sexual relations with the other person.
However, and in whatever way it happened, the issue on ground now is that you have cheated on your partner and are so deep in guilt that you need to know if telling him what you did is the right idea.
Feeling guilty is normal after doing something like this, and unless you are a terrible person, your conscience will be affected when you cheat a person or cheat on a person, especially if that person is loyal and does not deserve to be treated that way.
However, it is not wise to just spill the information to your boyfriend just because you feel guilty about it.
You must carefully consider the situation of thing before proceeding to make a good decision.
This article seeks to help you make sense of your situation and make a decision that is best for your partner, your relationship, and lastly, for you.
You are not the priority in this case because you were the one who brought about the whole situation in the first place.
Thus, owing to the fact explained above, the question “Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Cheated?” does not have a”yes” or “no” answer.
It is a sensitive situation and question and the answer depends on a wide variety of factors.
Let us carefully look into the whole scenario and approach it generally, and then more specifically.
It is important for you to know that whatever you learn from this article must be carefully applied and customized to fit your own situation because no two situations are the same.
”Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Cheated?”
While honesty is of utmost importance in any and every relationship, (especially a love relationship that is exclusive) and should not be compromised on, sometimes, some details are better left in the unknown.
It is commonly said that what we do not know can not hurt us and it is true.
There are a few instances or scenarios where telling your boyfriend you cheated is a bad idea that should not be considered because it will only do harm and no good.
For instance, it you cheated on your partner with a random stranger on one of your vacations to a foreign country when you were drunk, there is a high chance that your boyfriend will never find out because of the circumstances surrounding it.
You did not do it intentionally, a stranger was involved, no one else is aware of the affair, and there is every chance that your boyfriend may never come across the person you cheated with or find out in any way.
In a case like this, we are not encouraging you to lie to your boyfriend but depending on many factors like how sorry you feel, your determination to never let it reoccur, your partner’s possible reaction to such news, etc., you may want to consider not bringing it up at all, making it a secret that never sees the light of the day and that never happens again.
You are not directly lying to your partner, you are just omitting unnecessary information.
This is because certain things are unforgivable for some people and may never leave their memories.
While it is easy for you to forgive yourself, move on, and understand that you are not that person anymore, it may not be easy for your partner to do so for you especially if they are very loving and emotional.
Depending on your partner’s view of life and mindset, they may be utterly disappointed and devastated at the news and you may regret telling them eventually because of how they take the news and how it eventually affects them.
Hence, there are times telling your boyfriend you cheated on may be a very bad idea.
It is important for you to know that the decision to not tell your partner that you cheated on him must not come from a place of selfishness where you are just trying to appear like a saint and preserve your relationship for your own selfishness reasons.
It should come from a place of concern for your partner, understanding that in some situations, taking off the burden of that secret from yourself and putting it on your partner by letting them know can be an unnecessary information that burdens or even breaks them.
Understand that the deed has already been done.
You have cheated and that can not be undone because you can not take back the hands of time.
This article is not about showing you magical ways to erase your wrong deeds, instead it is about showing you ways to manage the situation wisely – damage control.
Therefore, if all of the signs and circumstances surrounding the cheating situation show that telling your partner is a bad idea, you should pay attention to it.
The situations where telling your partner is unnecessary and a bad idea are rare but they do occur and it is up to you to decide depending on your unique situation.
However, in other situations where you cheated more than once, and with someone not too far away that your boyfriend can get to find out about, whether now or in future, you must find a way of telling your partner you cheated.
Even if the person you cheated with promises not to tell your partner, that is a promise that can not be trusted.
What happens if they wake up tomorrow and decide to?
Whether or not you are remorseful and repentant, your partner deserves to know now and not be hit with the unpleasant information in an embarrassing way in future because that can happen.
You must grant your boyfriend the privilege of knowing what happened and deciding if he will forgive you or not.
He may be very hurt but some part of him will appreciate your honesty.
Cheating is a deal breaker for many people but many still go on to forgive their partners especially if they have an assurance that the event will not occur again.
If you are worried that your partner may not forgive you, remind yourself that they can find out in future and the effects and consequences will be even more dire.
So, you should tell them now and communicate your regrets – if there are any.
”Should I tell my boyfriend I cheated?”
The ball is now in your court.