Hmmmmnnn… The no-strings-attached relationships?
We all know about them.
They are the new trend among “woke” people, especially the young ones.
While I am not totally against a mutual agreement between two adults to have a situationship.
It gets terrible when a guy approaches you with false intentions.
I have seen many ladies devastated because they were unlucky enough to believe the marvelous spiel of a man who only wanted to get into their pants.
I know several guys who do this, and I can tell you that no one spins a more convincing story of love than a man who just wants to get into your pants.
To help you pierce beyond the glossy surface of the words and actions of a man who claims to be in love with you down to how he actually feels about you, here are some important signs to look out for.
6 Unimpeachable Signs He Just Wants To Get Into Your Pants
1. He makes scanty attempts at communication
Lately, on social media, I have been seeing trends about talking stages and how frustrating they can be.
Indeed, I saw some pretty hilarious and clumsy attempts at getting to know a lady.
However, a significant way to discern if a guy truly has feelings for you is his communication.
How well does he try to communicate with you?
What time does he attempt to communicate with you, and why?
The answers to these questions will help you discern his true intentions.
When a guy only communicates with you through late-night texts and booty calls, it is a clear sign that his interest is primarily sexual.
If he conveniently seems to appear on the scene during weekends after spending a “busy” week with work, it may suggest that he is only seeking an opportunity to get into your pants without trying to forge a strong relationship first.
Such actions reflect a desire for immediate gratification of sexual desires rather than a need to forge a deep emotional connection with you.
2. He seems to be perpetually focused on physical topics
One of the perks of a talking stage with someone who loves you is the intellectually stimulating conversations that come with it.
There are so many things to talk about in the’ talking’ stage.
Hence, it should be a little suspicious if your conversations with him always hover around the same thing- physical attraction.
If a guy constantly steers your conversations toward sexual topics, it is a sign that his interest in you is majorly physical.
If he seems fixated on specific parts of your body without even considering your personality, it is a sign that he doesn’t plan on forging any deep connection with you.
Perhaps he hides his inappropriate interest behind excessive compliments about how “hot” you are, and you are tempted to blush because no man has ever called you “hot” before.
Don’t blush oo. ( In Nigeria, “oo” is used to emphasize a statement. It is our indigenous exclamation mark.)
His constant comments on the shape of your body and other physical attributes already reflect a fixation on a destination that goes no further than just under your pants.
Recognizing this is essential to making the right decision about your relationship.
3. He initiates only late-night dates
Are you in a talking stage with a guy who seems to have a love relationship with the night and darkness?
He always seems to find a way to initiate late-night dates in dark locations with questionable ambiance.
When you ask him why he is so fixated on late-night dates, he may make excuses about being a night owl and being more comfortable.
Well, he is probably being truthful on both sides.
He probably wants to prey on you sexually, and the night is better suited for his activity, so he is more comfortable in the dark.
This pattern implies that he is more interested in the physical aspect of the relationship and uses the darkness to disguise his lack of interest in establishing a genuine emotional connection.
It is a clear sign that his priorities are more fixated on getting you into the bedroom rather than investing time in quality dates or thoughtful conversations with you.
4. He is selectively available
This is quite tricky because many factors may be responsible for his unavailability.
However, if a guy cancels plans frequently during the week because he is busy, it may be a sign that he isn’t exactly interested in a committed relationship.
This is especially true if you notice that he cancels dates in open areas but suggests outings in dark, enclosed spaces.
These repeated selective cancellations of dates that do not suit his motives may be a sign that he is not dedicated to spending any quality time with you except to have sexcapades.
This reminds me of how my female friend kept making excuses for her “boyfriend.”
This young man never tried to see her during the day or to go on dates with her.
The highlight of her relationship was his steady request for her to “come over and spend the night.”
What a bleak way to experience a romantic relationship.
If that guy only reaches out to you on cold nights because it is “weather for two,” Nigerians’ special slang for such cold weather, and he wants to ‘share body heat,” it is a sign that he only wants to get into your pants.
5. He makes no effort after physical intimacy
If you have given in to his pressures for sex because you felt you were about to make a gift to someone you love and love you in return, it is sad, but you would be in the optimum position to observe this sign.
Does it seem like his fervor has reduced since the day you had sex with him?
One common sign that a guy is after sex alone is that the moment he gets it, he suddenly stops putting effort into the relationship except to demand more sexual intimacy.
Recognizing this attribute in a man with whom you have been sexually intimate is a sign that he was just after sex from the start.
6. He avoids meeting your friends and family
If he persistently avoids meeting with your friends and family, it may be a sign that he has no intention of being serious with the relationship.
Many guys prioritize introducing serious prospects to their friends and family as well as meeting with their friends and family.
It serves as a sign that shows his readiness to integrate you into his life and to be integrated into yours.
His reluctance to do this may signify that he doesn’t want to be genuinely invested in the relationship.
It may also be a sign that he is afraid that one of your friends and family may detect some of his more subtle nuances and blow a whistle on his “covert operation.”
5 Things To Do When You Notice These Signs
1. Trust your instincts
The first thing you need to do when you notice the signs is to trust your instincts.
If you don’t trust your instincts, you may be gaslighted by the guy into believing that you are just imagining things.
If you notice that something feels off with your relationship, you need to pay attention to those things you may have overlooked in the past.
Watching for evidence and open communication is important.
However, that gut feeling serves as your early alarm system.
If your intuition signals that a guy is just interested in sex, take it seriously and proceed with care.
Ensuring your emotional well-being should be your top priority.
2. Set clear boundaries
Setting boundaries is very crucial in any relationship.
It becomes even more important if your instincts tell you that a guy is just with you because he wants to have sex with you.
Clarify what you are comfortable with to him and ensure that you stay firmly rooted in your stance against any pressure he may come up with.
Some guys can go to weird lengths just to get what they want.
So, he may come up with silly requests like “I am depressed. Can I see your breasts?” or other tactics.
You should be firm enough to dispel any other similar attempts in the future.
3. Seek support from friends
Talking to friends can sometimes provide a fresh perspective on issues.
This is why you should surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and can guide you into making the right decisions.
4. Move on
If a guy consistently fails to meet your expectations emotionally and seems so preoccupied with physical intimacy, you may need to consider moving on and ending whatever is happening between the two of you.
Every relationship has its challenges, but if it’s not built on the right desire to forge a deep emotional connection, it may not be worthwhile.
In a world of dating and situationships, it is important that you pay attention to the actions of the guy expressing interest in you.
Those actions will reveal whether a guy genuinely loves you or just wants to get into your pants.
In the famous Nigerian pidgin slang, “Shine your eye!”