Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court isn’t one of my best TV shows because each time I watch an episode, I end up getting sad, riled up, and ashamed.
It’s one of my husband’s favourite shows, so I get to watch it sometimes.
Even though it breaks my heart to watch the unfolding of events in the court, my eyes are opened to the reality of a stupid thing we ladies do to ourselves.
After watching a few episodes yesterday, I knew I just had to write this post, at the risk of sounding judgmental.
I’m not judging any woman, because I understand that we are all different, and so are our desires, experiences, and baggage. I’m only judging our behaviour.
Judging someone and judging their actions are two different things.
What is this stupid thing ladies need to stop doing to themselves?
It’s not taking responsibility for their sexual life!!!
It hurts to see women drag men to paternity courts to fulfill their responsibilities as a father.
It hurts when women are even in doubt of who the real father of their child is.
It hurts to see women drag four men to a paternity court and none of the men is even the father of their child.
It hurts to see women express shock at paternity test results.
It hurts to see women get insulted by men with whom they made a baby together.
It hurts to see three women drag one man to a paternity court to make him pay child support.
It hurts to see one woman have three children for a man who has proved himself to be a deadbeat father even with the first child.
What exactly is wrong with us women? What?
This nonsense needs to stop!
I understand that not every woman will have the ‘meet a guy that loves you, get married, raise a family, and live happily ever after’ kinda story.
But that is not enough reason to throw caution into the wind and make yourself vulnerable.
Women need to understand that it’s easy to get pregnant.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a one-night stand. It doesn’t matter if you’re not ready. It doesn’t matter if your bank account is not ready. Your womb doesn’t understand that.
Not only that, having a baby changes your entire life COMPLETELY.
I have a daughter and my life hasn’t remained the same ever since I became a mom.
Children are a blessing but having a child you’re not prepared for can throw you off balance. It can leave you with shattered dreams, bitterness and depression.
You’ve got to be intentional about your life. You have just one. You can’t afford to be careless with it. You’ve got to take responsibility for your sexual life, and not leave it to a man.
Men don’t get pregnant! They don’t bear the brunt of pregnancy and childcare. At least, not as we do.
No matter how many women get pregnant and give birth per minute, pregnancy/childbirth is a big deal. It’s not a walk in the park. Imagine dragging a man to court to take responsibility for what you both did on top of this.
The way out?
1. As a woman, you need to love yourself and put yourself first.
2. Take responsibility for your sexual life. When the chips are down, you’ll know if a man loves you for real or he’s all for your coochie.
3. You cannot get a man’s love, ring, and commitment by giving him kids.
4. Having multiple children won’t make a man responsible.
5. Not knowing the father of your child doesn’t make you a smart or an independent woman. Depending on a paternity court to show you the true father of a child isn’t an enviable thing.
6. It’s easy to get pregnant! It’s easy to get pregnant!! It’s easy to get pregnant!!!
7. Unplanned pregnancies can make your life difficult.
8. I’m a practising Christian and the Bible teaches that sex should happen only within the confines of marriage.
You’re free to disagree but I believe this is the best (although marriage doesn’t necessarily mean a man will be committed to you and the children).
I understand that not everyone is religious, and I can’t shove my beliefs down your throat. But please, if you’re not ready for a baby, don’t get pregnant. Protect yourself in whatever way. No pregnancy is ever a surprise. It can only be unplanned.
You might say you can always abort.
But why should you be the one to abort? You didn’t impregnate yourself. If it’s impossible for a man to abort, then you shouldn’t! You both did it.
Why should your body take care of it?
If you can’t practise abstinence, then protect yourself in every way. Don’t ruin your dreams. Don’t put yourself and your kids at the mercy of a man.
We need to stop letting men take advantage of us. We need to stop being an object of mockery for men.
I think I’ve said enough. It’s left for every woman to make a choice. Who am I to tell you what to do? I can only advise.
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