Marriage is not child’s play, so I’m usually not hasty to dish out advice and hot takes about it.
However, if you must grow and have a healthier marriage with your partner, then learning must be a continuous process for you.
Your mindset and lifestyle play a huge role in how your marriage turns out, and learning from other people can help a lot when you’re learning positive things.
Your maturity, or the lack of it, to a large extent, determines the kind of home you build.
There are certain things mature women do not do in a marriage.
When I say mature women, I do not necessarily mean maturity by age.
I mean women who have gotten wisdom for marriage either through their personal experiences or that of others.
These kinds of women avoid certain behaviors and actions because they know such behaviors only have negative effects on a marriage.
And they want to prioritize having a healthy, thriving marriage over other frivolities.
The effect of their choice is a positive impact on their marriage.
In case you have ever wondered if there are things mature women do not do in a marriage, there are, and I’ll share them with you.
10 Things Mature Women Don’t Do in a Marriage:
1. Rely on their husband for their happiness
Mature women have grown to learn to be the source of their own happiness.
They love their husband and even derive a lot of happiness from the union, but they do not base the entirety of their happiness on it.
They understand that putting the keys to your happiness in the hands of another person is setting yourself up for a shock.
Because knowingly or unknowingly, that person can shatter it.
So they create a healthy balance between the happiness they get from their marriage/husband and the happiness they have on their own.
2. Expect their husbands to be mind readers
A mature woman understands the value of constant communication and open-mindedness.
She does not keep her feelings and thoughts to herself and expects her husband to figure things out himself.
I know it’s popularly said that women expect their men to read their minds, but what would you say if I told you that only immature women or ladies still do such?
Harsh, I know, but it’s the truth.
Mature women understand how important it is for them to just open their mouths and communicate their feelings to their man and also actively listen to him talk too.
They know that it saves time and energy when they don’t keep playing games and expect their man to play along.
Especially if the man in question is busy and already has a lot on his plate.
Adding to his struggles by giving him the responsibility of being a magician or mind reader is not mature.
3. Keep grudges
In high school relationships and even some grown-up dating relationships, grudges may be common.
The girl may hold on to wrongs done by the guy for ages and even take pride in it.
This is not the case with a mature married woman.
Holding grudges against her husband is not one of the things she does.
She understands how much grudges impede growth and harmony in a marriage.
Grudges create room for resentment and many other ill feelings that chase out all the good feelings in the marriage.
So a mature woman ensures grudges have no place I’m her marriage.
Instead, she chooses forgiveness and learns to let go of past mistakes and wrongs, concentrating on things that matter more, such as building a bright future together.
When they’re hurt, they hold a conversation about it and express themselves.
4. Ignore their husband’s needs
Mature women pay attention to the needs of their husbands and meet those needs whenever it’s in their capacity to do so.
They do not ignore their husband’s needs or use them as a weapon to punish their husband for something they did.
They understand that marriage is teamwork and that both parties need each other.
So they pay attention to learning and understand their husband’s yearnings and preferences and make efforts to meet them or support them.
Of course, they can not meet every need their husband has, but they show support and make efforts to help.
5. Let themselves go
As much as mature women love their husbands and attend to their needs, they also pay attention to their own needs.
A mature woman does not neglect self-care simply because she’s married.
She knows that at the end of the day, it boils down to her.
She can only support and husband and build a healthy marriage with him when she is healthy herself.
Forsaking herself is one thing a mature woman does not do.
She ensures that she prioritizes herself and takes care of her mental, emotional, and physical health because she has to be healthy to make useful contributions to her marriage.
Part of prioritizing herself is speaking up when she is not comfortable with something going on in the marriage.
She does not bow to abuse or allow herself to get intimidated.
6. Depend on their husbands for everything
Being overly dependent is one thing mature women do not do in a marriage.
Of course, when you get married, a large part of your life now depends on your partner because marriage is all about interdependence.
But over-dependence is where she draws the line.
She does not lose her sense of self or let go of her individuality simply because she’s married.
A mature woman maintains her hobbies, job, business, and career even when she’s married.
This does not benefit her alone.
It also benefits the marriage because she can bring new experiences and perspectives into it.
Her husband also maintains a high level of respect for her because he knows she is stable on her own.
7. Compare their marriage to others
Comparison is the thief of joy.
No matter how cliche it sounds, it still holds a lot of truth.
When people compare their partner or marriage to another person’s, it rarely yields a positive result.
And that is why mature women avoid the trap of comparison.
They do not measure their marriage against other people’s, regardless of how similar or close they are.
They understand that every marriage is different and dynamic, so there is no basis for comparison.
They focus their energy instead on improving their connection with their husband and creating a better atmosphere for their relationship.
8. Avoid conflict resolution
Avoiding conflict resolution and sweeping things under the carpet always has a negative effect.
Some day, that carpet will be too full to take any more issues, and it will boomerang.
Mature women understand this, so they do not avoid conflict resolution.
Even when it’s difficult and hard conversations have to be had, they face it with courage and join their husband to talk things out.
They know that this is a better approach to handling conflicts than resorting to avoidance or holding grudges.
Conflicts are inevitable in every relationship and marriage, but mature women face them with a lot of finesse.
9. Trivialize emotional and physical intimacy
Mature women know that there is a place for intimacy both physically and emotionally in marriage.
They do not downplay these two forms of intimacy because they are crucial to keeping the flame burning.
As such, they consistently find new ways to ignite intimacy with their husband.
And when their husband brings up new ideas that are nice and in line with their values, they embrace them and try them out.
They connect emotionally, too, by being vulnerable with their husband, sharing their fears, dreams, thoughts, and everything in between with him.
All of these are done in a bid to nurture their romantic connection.
10. Expect perfection
Perfection is a myth, and a mature woman understands that.
So, while she has high standards for her marriage and demands accountability from her husband, she does not expect a perfect man or a perfect marriage.
This is because she understands that the marriage is made up of her and her husband – who are two imperfect people.
And so she chooses progress over perfection.
Constantly evolving and improving in various areas of her relationship with her husband.
Holding him accountable but also taking responsibility when she is the wrong one.
She apologizes where necessary and does not harbor disrespect.
These habits foster love and mutual respect in a marriage.
Mature women use their knowledge and experience to make their lives and marriages better.
By embracing healthy and positive behaviors and circumventing negative ones, they build a stronger and healthier marriage where unity, mutual respect, and growth exist.