I remember watching Mexican soap operas where the villains were always incredibly hot!
We could easily forgive their wicked acts and sympathize with them in the movie because of their appeal.
Can you relate?
Fun fact – some ladies are attracted to bad boys!
Clean, prim, and proper guys don’t catch their fancy; they like to have their guys with some “baddie” in them.
In case you are wondering why, attraction is very complex and personal.
Better put, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of attraction.
Meanwhile, the term “Bad boy” may be vague and subjective.
It can mean different things to different people.
Here, we are referring to a person who may be anything from rebellious to defiant to non-conforming, unpredictable to wild to emotionally flippant and unreliable.
Women are generally drawn to different qualities and traits of men, and there is no universal test, standard, or benchmark guiding a woman’s attraction to a man.
A woman’s individual life experience and social preference play a role in determining the kind of man she finds attractive.
Some women gravitate towards men who are slightly flawed, mysterious, unpredictable, or even dangerous.
Others are drawn to calm, respectful, predictable, and rule-compliant men.
It’s indisputable that no man is perfect.
We need to, however, ensure that the flaws we accommodate in our partners are those we can live with with no dire consequences.
Be that as it may, the fact that you prefer bad boys does not necessarily mean that you are mentally or emotionally “broken” or need to be fixed.
However, knowing the reasons behind your choice of men may help you make informed decisions and probably make you reevaluate your preferences and the possible aftermath.
This article aims to unbundle some possible reasons you prefer “bad boys,” some of which will astound you.
“Why Am I Attracted To Bad Boys?” – 8 Astounding Reasons
1. You don’t know their actions are that bad, or you don’t have the full context
The context of “bad” differs from person to person.
It is possible you might not understand the gravity of the situation, or you might not understand the full context of his misbehavior.
It could be, for instance, that your attraction to bad boys stems from the home videos you watched, where bad boys are depicted as masculine, romantic persons.
Remember those hot, lanky villains in soap operas?
Don’t be surprised that those movies have colored the idea of what an attractive man looks like in the minds of many ladies.
They don’t see them as “bad”.. they see them differently.
You are likely attracted to bad boys only because you are missing some information that would change your view of the situation and wash off your attraction to them.
2. You believe in giving people second chances
The reason you have an attraction to a bad boy might be because you are very forgiving and non-judgmental.
A lot of open-minded people and empaths fall into this category.
You understand that people make mistakes, and you believe in giving people second chances or benefits of the doubt so that they can have opportunities to change and grow.
This mindset makes you see “bad boys” as people who made bad choices but who have the potential to change for the better.
That mindset puts you in a unique psychological angle where you can have a penetrating insight into his character and notice some of his vulnerabilities and kindness, which others may have overlooked.
It excites you to believe you can help him turn his life around, and you may consider dating him as a challenge and an opportunity to help him.
This mindset we discussed might be the simple reason behind your attraction to bad boys.
3. You might be rebelling against your sense of morality or upbringing
Let’s have a quick introspection.
Your attraction to “bad boys” could be because you are trying to break free from the rules or values you were taught while growing up.
Opposites attract, they say.
Narratives where the good girl ends up with a bad boy are very popular.
If you were raised in a very strict or restrictive environment, you might be trying (unconsciously) to rebel against it.
You may be trying to test the boundaries of “right” or “wrong” and change your sense of morality.
Perhaps there is something attractive about the freedom such guys have and how dangerously they live because that was one thing you lacked.
You may find that your quest to explore a different sense of morality, push the boundaries of convention, and figure out who you really are may lead you right into the arms of bad boys.
4. You have low self-esteem, and you feel you don’t deserve a “good” guy
Low self-esteem could make you feel you are not “good enough” or think you are not entitled to some good things in life.
If you don’t feel like you are “good enough” to have a good relationship or a good partner, you might seek out relationships with people who are “bad” or who treat you poorly because it matches up with how you feel about yourself.
For instance, if you grew up in a slum or a high crime rate environment and saw these kinds of guys, you may never feel like you deserve better.
After all, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
How you see yourself always determines your choices, which might be why you prefer bad boys.
5. You prefer casual or less demanding relationships
Your attraction to bad boys may be because you are afraid to commit to a relationship.
I understand your fear of commitment may be related to trust issues or past trauma.
This could make you look out for a less serious and casual relationship, particularly with partners who have an “I don’t care” emotional attitude, like bad boys.
Some ladies prefer such guys because they fear falling in love and getting entangled due to their past hurts.
After all, with a bad boy, they know where they stand, and the relationship can be mutually beneficial without either party feeling choked.
6. You like the excitement and danger that comes with a bad boy’s lifestyle
On the one hand, you could be drawn to excitement or danger and like living on the edge like a bad boy.
This is called “thrill-seeking” or “sensation-seeking.”
On the other hand, it may be that you are only (consciously or unconsciously) using the thrill or excitement of dating such a person to avoid or escape other negative feelings or situations.
Or it could be because the thrill of discovering a bad boy’s social capabilities makes him look like a puzzle to be solved or a book to be read, and you find this very exciting and engaging.
This is true, especially if you have a high-risk appetite and get bored quickly.
You may find that clean guys bore you, but you love the unpredictability of the bad boys.
It makes you excited and happy because of your adventurous spirit.
7. You are in search of a protector
You may be searching for a relationship that protects you from other bad boys.
A lady dating a cultist is a good example because she feels she needs protection from the trouble of other cultist guys is a good example.
I remember ladies in the university who dated cultists because it gave them prestige and protection from other guys or even lecturers who may have wanted to victimize them.
This also applies to ladies who have “daddy issues” and had an absentee father as a child.
They may always crave for that covering and protection they couldn’t get from their fathers, and this desire may make bad boys appealing to them.
If you grew up exposed to some risks that threatened your safety as a child, you might be looking for a relationship with a defensive gangster as an adult.
Bad boys often look more masculine and virile than boys who like to “play it safe.”
This could be due to their physical appearance, how they carry themselves, or how they behave.
So chances are, you might be attracted to such a person because you believe they would give you the protection you are missing or deficient in.
8. You love the extravagant life
Well, most bad boys are usually very wealthy, too.
It is possible you feel like calm and responsible guys won’t have the means to cater to your needs, so you prefer bad boys.
They can give you the luxurious life you desire.
Interestingly, our tastes differ; like they say, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
Life is full of good and bad, and relationships are no exception.
Usually, our relationships are an extension of our desires, values, and ideologies.
If you feel the reason you are attracted to bad boys is deep-rooted in unhealed trauma, you may need to seek therapy.
Ultimately, it is best to count the cost before going into any relationship or giving heed to our desires.
I hope this helps.