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Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys?

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys?

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One of the things that makes an individual a responsible adult is their ability to evaluate their life’s decisions, desires, and actions and choose better when they need to. 

Paying attention to your relationship life is a major part of paying attention to your life in general, and this involves noticing possible trends in your relationships and even the kind of people you are attracted to.

If you find yourself being attracted to taken guys, you may be wondering why that is the case.

Well, I just might have the answer you seek.

You see, as you may already know, many things influence people’s attraction because attraction is a complex concept.

Different people find different things attractive and many factors are responsible for that.

If you find yourself constantly attracted to people in relationships, here are nine possible reasons.

9 Reasons You Are Attracted To Taken Guys

1. Less commitment


Simply put, you may be attracted to taken guys because it is easier to be in a relationship with them.

Some people find being in a committed relationship stressful.

Having to give a lot of your time, attention, and commitment to someone may be quite a lot for you. 

But if the person is already getting the needed time and attention from someone else, their demands on you will be less.

This may be your school of thought, so you prefer guys who are taken to the available ones because you do not have to do too much or commit too much. 

It is also very likely that you have some form of fear of deep intimacy and commitment.

Does this sound like you? 

2. Unavailability

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

This may be ironic to some people because isn’t the whole aim of being with someone to have their time and for them to have yours?

Well, that is why I explained earlier that people are different.

The unavailability of being with someone who is taken may be a plus that you appreciate. 

You may find taken men more appealing because there is an element of pursuit and conquest.

People tend to value things less when they have them at their beck and call, and unfortunately, sometimes the same applies to their partners.

You may notice that you are uninterested in available men because they always seem to be around, so the air of conquest is absent.

You want a man you can miss and crave. 

Whether or not this is a healthy feeling is a discussion for another day. 

But it is a natural feeling for many people. 

3. The excitement

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

It is often said that stolen waters taste the sweetest.

Finding taken guys attractive can be linked to a desire for illegal affairs and forbidden fruits.

Some people enjoy controversial or inappropriate relationships because it keeps them on their toes and is always exciting.

When you are dating someone’s man, there will never be a dull moment in the relationship because, if nothing, the fact that you always have to seek ways to ensure that your affair isn’t found out will keep you both on your toes. 

This excitement gets your adrenaline pumping, and you would not have it any other way.

4. Social proof

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

Generally, in many societies and circles, married people or people in relationships are considered more responsible than others, hence more desirable.

In some cultures, they are even accorded some form of respect and honor that single people do not get. 

It is almost as though being single is some form of plague. 

If such a mindset is prevalent in your environment, it could influence you and determine how your mind now responds to men who are taken.

You may begin to find them more appealing.

And of course, they will gradually begin to look more attractive to you because everybody is attractive in one way or another, especially when you focus on them.

More so, your preconceived notion about them will heighten their value in your eyes.

5. Poor sense of self

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

Low self-esteem can be why you gravitate towards men who are taken.

A healthy sense of self makes you realize that you deserve a love that is whole.

Not partial or the leftover of what they must have invested in their original partners.

But when an individual has a feeling of inadequacy intrinsically, they may subconsciously feel unworthy of a fully committed relationship.

They may think nobody will want to “settle” for them because there isn’t much to them. 

They would rather make do with whatever love, attention, and time they get from a man that is already in a relationship, deriving their sense of validation from it.

This is a toxic mindset and a very negative way to view oneself. 

6. Personal issues

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

Your attraction says a lot about you many times.

If you are attracted to taken guys, it may be indicative of a personal issue or issues you have.

People sometimes have a plethora of personal, family, relationship, or life issues that affect their minds and may seek different ways to escape these challenges. 

Your attraction to them may be some form of escapism from the issues in your life. 

So maybe you need to look deeper into yourself and search for answers. 

7. Jealousy

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

If you are attracted to people who are taken, it may be due to envy.

You may be jealous of people’s relationships, especially when they seem perfect, leading you to crave what they have.

Instead of starting your own relationship with a fellow single person, you may be bent on having what another woman has.

And maybe after dating single guys, you had unpleasant experiences, making you more interested in other people’s men.

Jealousy is a toxic emotion that can lead to many other negative and even dangerous actions if not monitored and dealt with. 

8. Lack of respect and boundaries

Why Am I Attracted To Taken Guys

If you have little or no respect for people’s relationships and marriages, it’s easy to end up in a situation like this.

Failure to understand that people in relationships deserve some level of boundaries and distance can make you get yourself involved with them so much that you begin to desire them.

When you respect people’s relationships and create boundaries to formalize your interactions, you are less likely to fall for them.

9. Coincidence

Have you considered the fact that it might just be a coincidence?

Hear me out.

Maybe the guys you find attractive just happen to be taken.

Your attraction to them may be due to their physical appearance, confidence, kindness, stability, etc., and have nothing to do with their relationship status.

Of course, this is not the case if you have been attracted to taken men multiple times.

But if this has happened only once or a few times, it may just be a coincidence.

Final Words

These reasons are not exhaustive, but you will find your answer if you think deeply and go through them.

I would not recommend going after someone already in a committed relationship.

This is because it is generally an unfair and unhealthy thing to do.

It shows gross disrespect for people’s feelings and personal lives.

Building relationships with emotionally available people is more profitable and way better.

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