”Why do guys leave when you’re pregnant?”
This is a valid question, especially considering the fact that it takes two people to create a child.
Pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time, but for some women, it’s anything but.
In fact, many relationships end when a woman becomes pregnant.
I’ve carried two pregnancies to term, and I know how extremely challenging and distressing pregnancy can be.
So I can’t imagine being abandoned by my ‘partner-in-crime’ in the baby-making process, who is supposed to carry the pregnancy with me in other ways.
Why do guys leave when you are pregnant?
There are several reasons why this happens.
Why Do Guys Leave When You’re Pregnant?
They can’t deal with the changes pregnancy brings
During pregnancy, a woman’s body goes through a lot of changes.
Hormones are raging, and emotions are all over the place.
This can be a lot for a man to handle, especially if he’s not ready to be a father.
Also, the physical changes during pregnancy can be off-putting to some men.
A woman’s body swells and grows and may experience breakouts and other skin changes.
On top of all that, pregnancy is exhausting.
The constant fatigue can be a turn-off for some men, who prefer their women to be energetic and up for anything.
2. They’re not ready for the responsibility of fatherhood
Becoming a father is a huge responsibility; some men simply aren’t ready for it.
They may not be ready financially, emotionally, or mentally.
And they may not be willing to make the lifestyle changes that are necessary when you have a child, such as losing sleep, changing diapers, and spending less time with their friends.
My kids are 4 and 2, and I’m still sleep-deprived on most days.
So imagine what having a new baby would do to your sleep cycle.
A guy may have been fine with being a dad in theory, but when it comes time to actually do something about it, he runs away like a scared little girl.
3. They’re afraid of commitment
Some men are afraid of commitment, and becoming a father is one of the biggest commitments a man can make.
When a woman becomes pregnant, it’s natural for her to start thinking about the future and wanting to settle down.
But for some men, this can be a scary prospect.
They may not be ready to give up their freedom and may be worried about being tied down by a relationship.
4. They don’t want kids
Some men leave you when you get pregnant because they don’t want kids, and becoming pregnant is the last thing they want.
They may have never wanted kids in the first place or changed their minds after meeting you.
If a guy tells you he doesn’t want kids, believe him.
Don’t try to change his mind or convince him that he’ll make a great father.
Because if he doesn’t want kids, he’s not going to change his mind just because you’re pregnant.
5. The timing doesn’t work for him
Sometimes, a guy may want to be a father, but the timing isn’t right.
He may be in school, starting a new job, or dealing with personal issues.
And he may not feel like he can handle the responsibility of fatherhood at that particular time in his life.
6. He can’t afford it
Becoming a father is expensive.
There’s the cost of diapers, formula, childcare, and all the other things that come along with having a child.
And if a guy is struggling financially, he may not feel like he can afford to have a child.
I think a sensible guy should have considered this before.
7. He doesn’t think you’re ready for motherhood
If a guy leaves you when you’re pregnant, it may be because he doesn’t think you’re ready for motherhood.
Becoming a mother is a huge responsibility; not everyone is cut out for it.
Some women aren’t ready to handle the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood.
And if a guy doesn’t think you’re ready for it, he will not want to stick around.
8. He believes you’re only looking to trap him
Some guys believe that women get pregnant on purpose to trap them into a relationship.
And if a guy thinks you’re only pregnant to trap him, he will most likely leave you.
However, this is not always the case.
Sometimes, women do get pregnant unintentionally.
9. He’s afraid the baby isn’t his
If a guy leaves you when you’re pregnant, it could be because he’s afraid the baby isn’t his.
This is especially true if you’ve given him reasons to doubt your fidelity.
But even if you’ve been faithful, he may still be afraid that the baby isn’t his.
And if he is unsure about the child’s paternity, he will probably leave you.
10. He’s not ready to be a stepfather
If you have kids from a previous relationship, the thought of being stuck with a child that isn’t even his can be a turnoff for some men.
And if he’s not ready to be a stepfather, he will probably leave you when you get pregnant.
11. You’re not the only one
If a guy leaves you when you’re pregnant, it could be because he’s already seeing someone else.
He may have met someone new that he’s more interested in, or he may have been cheating on you from the beginning.
12. He has another family already
If a guy leaves you when you’re pregnant, it could be because he already has a family.
He is probably married and has kids with his wife, and he doesn’t want to ruin that.
And if he’s already committed to another family, he will not want to start another with you.
He’s not going to leave them for you and your child.
13. He’s plain selfish
Let’s just be real here.
The major reason a guy leaves when you’re pregnant is because he’s just plain selfish.
He doesn’t care about you or the baby; he only cares about himself.
It took two people to make this baby, and he’s not man enough to take responsibility for his actions.
So if a guy leaves you when you’re pregnant, it’s probably because he’s a selfish jerk who doesn’t deserve you.
These are major reasons men leave their pregnant girlfriends, and if yours has decided to cut off communication with you, there’s nothing wrong with asking him why.
You deserve a good explanation as to why he left you and your baby behind.
But even if he doesn’t have one, there are other ways to cope with a breakup.
Here are some ways to deal with a guy who leaves you pregnant:
Don’t fall apart
It’s hard not to feel like your world has been turned upside down when your baby’s father decides to leave.
It’s normal for you to feel angry and hurt.
But don’t let those feelings overwhelm you.
You’re still responsible for yourself and your child, so try as much as possible to keep your mind on him or her and make sure that both of you are taken care of in every possible way.
2. Stay connected with friends and family
Don’t isolate yourself and focus on your pregnancy.
You need support, whether it’s a good friend who can listen or a relative who’s willing to help out now and then.
Your support system will help keep your spirits up and provide a sounding board for your feelings.
Don’t bottle things up — let them know how you feel so they can offer advice or just listen.
3. Get involved in prenatal classes
You might not feel like going out much when you’re pregnant — after all, that’s why your boyfriend left.
But taking part in prenatal classes (and even childbirth classes) can give you something else to focus on besides your partner’s absence.
Plus, it gives you the chance to meet other pregnant women who are experiencing similar situations as yours.
4. Keep busy
Find something productive to do with your time so that you’re not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
Volunteer at a local charity or take up a new hobby like knitting or gardening — whatever will make you feel productive and useful, especially if you don’t have a job or school to attend.
It will help pass the time until he comes back around (if he does) or until your baby arrives.
5. Get support from others who have been through similar situations
Reach out to online communities, local pregnancy centers and other organizations that offer support services for pregnant women who have no partner or financial means of support themselves.
You may also want to consider talking with an attorney about your options if you need legal advice regarding custody or child support issues.
6. Consider your options
If you want to keep the baby, then do so.
Focus on being a great mom.
Your baby will need you more than ever when he or she arrives.
You have a lot of life ahead of you and your child deserves to be born into a happy home.
If the father doesn’t want to be part of the picture then that’s his loss, not yours.
If you want to give it up for adoption, then look into that option as well.
Think it through and make the best decision for yourself and your baby.
You can seek counsel and guidance from family, friends, and professionals.
All the best!