You both have been dating for a while now, and you seem to be progressing well.
You anticipate the day he will finally pop the big question and put a ring on your finger.
However, you realise that something seems to be missing.
Your boyfriend never talks about marriage, even though he tells you how perfect you are for him and how much he loves you.
He does not encourage any topic that could likely lead to discussing marriage.
You are curious as to why this is the case, but you do not want to ask him for any reason that you seem to be desperate or pushy.
7 Reasons Your Boyfriend Avoids Marriage Talks
Here are some reasons that could be responsible for his refusal to take your relationship to the next stage :
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He is unsure if you are the one for him.
Actions speak louder than words.
It’s okay to listen to what people say, but watching how their actions corroborate their words is even better.
Your boyfriend may say you are the best thing that has happened to him, but he may act otherwise by not talking about settling down with you and making you his forever.
You may wonder, “If he loves me that much, why does he not desire to do something that will give us the assurance that we have each other for keeps?”
Well, this may be because he is not yet sure if you are perfect enough for marriage.
You meet his immediate needs as a lover, but he does not know for sure if he will still feel the same way about you in marriage.
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He does not want to get married.
Your boyfriend enjoys his relationship with you, but marriage is neither in his immediate nor future plans.
Some people, perhaps out of past traumatic experiences or by choice, do not desire to go into that lifetime contract called marriage.
I do not encourage dating for fun or just to see how things go.
Not every relationship must end in marriage.
However, your relationships must be purposeful.
If you have no aligned values that are sustainable in marriage, you have no business being together in the first place.
This will prevent heartaches caused by unfulfilled expectations.
Some heartbreaks are avoidable.
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He is scared of rejection.
Your boyfriend wants you for marriage but does not know if the feeling is mutual.
He is scared that you might reject him if he pops the question.
So, he is waiting to be sure or to get a hint from you to know your mind towards him.
We have seen several public proposals gone wrong due to rejection on the part of the lady.
If you ask me, the quality of conversations you have as a couple in a relationship will foretell your plans for each other.
You cannot habitually hold intentional conversations tailored towards assessing your marital compatibility and still be unsure if you desire each other for marriage.
Examples of such Conversations include how many children you would love to have, where you would love to live, etc.
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He does not trust you.
Trust is one of the key values in marriage.
No wise person would want to commit their lifetime to someone they do not trust.
If your boyfriend has not gotten to the point where he absolutely trusts you, he may not want to talk about marriage with you.
Or, if you have a history that makes him doubt your loyalty, he may not consider marrying you.
So, it behoves you to ask yourself if you have proven to be trustworthy in the relationship.
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He is getting all the marriage benefits from you already.
If your relationship is not any different from a marriage because of the wifely roles you already play, then your boyfriend may not see the need for marriage talks again.
There is nothing else to look forward to since he already gets all the marital benefits.
Some roles are exclusive to a marriage arrangement and should not be played in a relationship.
For example, if you both cohabit while unmarried, chances are that you are warming his bed and being the homemaker already.
You are there with him all day long, and he does not even get the chance to miss you.
You should let him miss some part of you such that he finds himself saying, ‘ I can’t wait to marry you’ whenever he misses you.
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You are too perfect for him.
Yes, this may also be a reason for your boyfriend’s reluctance to start talking about marriage with you.
If, in all your years of dating, all he sees about you is perfect, he may feel the need to be wary of taking your relationship to the next stage.
He does not see your weaknesses. You always put up a strong front.
He has never seen you express anger or embarrassment.
Every time he sets his eyes on you, your appearance is always at its best. He does not see you as vulnerable enough around him.
You dress, walk, sit, and eat perfectly; no visible flaw.
This could be a red flag that could discourage him from discussing marriage with you.
Being a flawless human is an indication of a lack of authenticity.
This may make him believe that you do not love him enough to bare your imperfections before him, and he is worried about making a shocking discovery about you in marriage.
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He is not financially confident.
Marriage needs love. We all know this.
But do you know that marriage requires money too?
No, I am not even referring to the wedding ceremony.
Marriage is a life of bills and responsibilities.
And a huge chunk of these responsibilities often falls on the man.
If your boyfriend is not financially comfortable, talking about marriage may seem like building castles in the air to him.
It’s one thing to plan. It’s another to execute.
Money is a significant execution tool for most of our plans.
Therefore, your Lover boy may love you undeniably, but he is still preoccupied with making money to comfortably fulfil his manly responsibilities when the time comes.
You may need to bring up the topic and have a serious conversation with him, so you can be sure that even if you wait for him to be financially buoyant, you have his word that he will marry you.
The decision to wait or move on lies totally in your hands.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Assumptions can be costly in romantic relationships.
After discovering the likely reason for your boyfriend’s avoidance of the marriage talk, you may need to sit him down and have a tête-à-tête with him.
The relationship has to be clearly defined in other to prevent possible disappointments and time wastage.
There is a stage you would have gotten to in your relationship whereby you need not be coy to bring up the marriage topic if he refuses to bring it up.
You are not popping the question at him. No, far from it!
You’re just simply asking him for his plans for the relationship and finding out if they tally with yours or not.
The outcome of this discussion will help you decide what to do next.