If the once-existing sexual attraction between you and your husband has become a thing of the past, it’s likely to pose a problem for your intimacy in your marriage
You probably found yourself in this situation and cannot seem to explain why it is so.
Let’s help you speculate some factors that might be responsible for your husband not turning you on anymore.
“Why Does My Husband Not Turn Me On Anymore?”: 10 Reasons
1. You have lost passion or intimacy over time
This is one of the common avoidable reasons women lose attraction to their husbands.
Some things that might contribute to a loss of passion or intimacy over time are routines and predictability in the relationship, taking each other for granted, which Nigerians call “see finish,” and not making an effort to keep things fresh.
Busy schedules can also leave little time for quality time together, a lack of affection or physical touch, or decreased emotional connection or vulnerability.
It’s like the spark that was once there has gradually faded away, and it’s harder to maintain that feeling of excitement and passion over the long term.
This is why you have to be deliberately creative in your relationship to avoid loss of sexual attraction for each other.
2. You feel taken for granted or unappreciated
Feeling taken for granted or unappreciated can be a major turn-off, especially if it goes on for a long time.
For most women, sexual attraction is beyond the physical.
Your husband may cease to turn you on if you feel like your needs and wants are not being prioritized.
When you feel your contributions to the relationship are not valued or recognized, or your partner doesn’t show gratitude or appreciation for what you do, your sexual attraction for him may dwindle.
Feeling like your partner doesn’t listen to you or make an effort to understand you may also make you feel unappreciated, which negatively impacts sexual attraction in a relationship.
Feeling taken for granted or unappreciated can lead to a host of negative feelings and emotions, like resentment, disappointment, frustration, and even anger.
And when those feelings are present, it’s pretty tough to maintain attraction and a sense of connection in a relationship.
It’s like the relationship is a boat, and the lack of appreciation is like a hole in the ship – it’s hard to keep it afloat without fixing that hole.
4. Your husband does not put effort into his appearance
Even though I earlier said that sexual attraction for most women is beyond the physical, physical appearance is definitely part of the equation, and it’s not just about vanity.
The efforts I am referring to here are about self-care and effort to look good for your partner.
No matter how much you care for your husband, you will naturally expect him to take his self-care seriously.
This can mean different things for different people – maybe working out, dressing nicely, grooming, or caring for his health.
It shows that he values himself and always wants to be attractive to you.
4. Your husband is not affectionate
Lack of effort or affection is a huge killer of attraction.
It’s basically like saying, “I don’t value you enough to put in the time and effort to make you feel loved and appreciated.”
If your husband is not taking the initiative to plan dates or do thoughtful things, he is not being physically affectionate or showing interest in physical intimacy; he may cease to turn you on at some point.
You begin to live like siblings in the same house.
After all, only siblings or relatives of the opposite sex are expected to live under the same roof indefinitely without physical intimacy.
It’s understandable if you lose attraction for your husband if he is not trying to be emotionally available or present.
If these issues are not quickly addressed, they could ruin sexual intimacy.
5. You are stressed or depressed
The demands of parenting, home-keeping, and career stress many women.
In extreme cases, some women even suffer from depression, especially without support.
Stress and depression can significantly contribute to losing sexual attraction in your marriage.
If you are stressed or depressed, it can affect your libido and interest in sexual intimacy.
In some cases, stress or depression can lead to a condition called sexual anhedonia, which is a loss of interest in sexual activity.
Additionally, stress and depression can cause a lack of energy, low self-esteem, and changes in appetite, which can all impact sexual desire.
And, of course, when you feel stressed or depressed, you may not be able to focus on your marriage as much.
So, it’s essential to focus on maintaining emotional health and well-being to foster a healthy and happy sexual experience with your husband.
Do not hesitate to ask your husband to be of help in places where you need support.
As a married woman, I have also learned to ask for help from loved ones to relieve stress in cases where I feel confident that their service will do me a lot of good.
If money is not a problem, you can also manage this by outsourcing what needs to be outsourced.
6. You are undergoing some hormonal changes
Now, every woman experiences this.
Throughout a woman’s life, her hormone levels are constantly changing due to some factors that are not in her control.
Hormonal changes can have an impact on sexual attraction.
For example, fluctuations in estrogen and testosterone levels can lead to changes in libido and sexual interest.
Menopause, pregnancy, and breastfeeding can all lead to changes in hormone levels and sexual desire.
Even certain medications can impact a person’s hormone levels and, in turn, their sexual attraction.
So, it’s essential to remember that changes in attraction for your husband can result from physical changes within your body.
Based on experience, I know of a few different approaches that can be taken to address hormonal changes affecting sexual attraction.
First, it’s important to see a doctor to rule out any medical conditions that could be causing hormonal changes.
Once that’s done, you can also find lifestyle changes helpful.
Eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep can all help to balance hormone levels.
Additionally, certain herbs and supplements like maca root and flaxseed can be beneficial.
Finally, therapy can be a helpful tool for dealing with any adverse effects of hormonal changes on your sexual drive.
7. You feel sexually unfulfilled
Feeling sexually unfulfilled or unsatisfied can cause a lack of sexual attraction.
You want sex, just not with him anymore because sex with him is not great.
The ‘not great sex’ can stem from many different things, like lack of variety or excitement in the bedroom and your husband having a higher sex drive than you.
It can also come from your husband not being attentive to your needs, boredom, lack of enthusiasm, or a sense of routine in the bedroom.
You must recognize that sexual needs and desires can change over time, and it’s normal for a couple to have different interest levels.
What is also more important is that you do not hesitate to communicate these needs to each other.
8. There are unresolved hurts
Growing resentment and past hurts can be like poison to a relationship, slowly eating away at the foundations until it’s too late.
If you feel like you are doing all the work or not being appreciated, or there is a history of hurtful words or actions that haven’t been addressed, it can build up resentment.
Also, if trust has been broken and hasn’t been fully rebuilt, or some arguments or conflicts haven’t been fully resolved, you may cease to be turned on sexually by your husband.
Think of it like a pot on the stove that’s boiling over.
If you don’t turn down the heat and clean up the mess, the pot will get messier and messier.
Similarly, if you don’t address resentments and past hurts, they can build up and cause real damage.
It’s important to address these things head-on, communicate openly, and work together to heal any wounds.
9. You are cheating on him
If you are cheating on your husband, you may feel guilty or ashamed of your actions, which could make it difficult for you to be intimate with him.
You may also feel disconnected from your husband emotionally, which can impact your physical attraction to him.
Moreover, because you feel you have betrayed your husband, you may no longer feel like you can trust him.
Chances are that you will be preoccupied with the other man you are involved with and possibly even compare his sexual stamina to your husband’s, which could leave less emotional energy for your husband.
I need you to note that not all unfaithful wives experience these feelings, and every situation is unique.
10. He is cheating on you
If your husband is cheating on you, this could affect your sexual attraction to him.
For one, the betrayal of trust can create a sense of emotional distance and make it difficult for you to feel close to your husband.
Additionally, cheating can create a sense of disgust or repulsion towards your husband.
Lastly, the emotional turmoil of infidelity can cause a woman to withdraw emotionally and physically from her husband.
Remember, however, that every situation is unique, and other factors could be at play.
Last Thoughts
No matter the reason for this loss of sexual attraction, you must be understanding and open-minded about the situation and work together to find solutions that can help.
This can be a stressful and challenging time, but with patience and understanding, a couple can get through it together.
And remember, there are often other ways to feel intimate and close with your partner, even if the physical attraction diminishes for a while.