Nobody likes it when another person is being mean to them.
Be it their friend, neighbor, sister, colleague, or boss, you don’t want to be at the receiving end of the words and actions of a mean person.
If the mean person in your case is your girlfriend, it doesn’t make it any better.
A mean girlfriend can make your life miserable in so many ways.
If you are disturbed about your girlfriend’s actions, the first thing you may be itching to know is why.
Why is your girlfriend so mean to you?
Your curiosity is very valid, and so I’ll give you answers.
However, before I give you all the information, I must mention that this doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.
Your relationship can be healthy again, but it depends on the nature of the situation and both party’s willingness to make necessary changes.
“Why Is My Girlfriend So Mean To Me?” – 15 Reasons
1. Old habits
Old habits they say, die hard.
Your girlfriend may just be exhibiting old habits of hers.
Some people have over time, developed unhealthy and unpleasant habits such as being saucy, rude, and mean.
Such people find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships because they always hurt the people in their lives.
If this is the case with your girlfriend, then you will likely notice that this is not the only unpleasant habit that she has and you are not the only one she’s mean to.
Habits such as a toxic need for control, extreme possessiveness, and anger issues can all be reasons for this.
For things to change, she has to recognize that she has an issue and then proceed to seek help.
2. Misunderstanding in communication
I am a woman, and I’ve been female all my life.
I want you to take it from me when I say that the wrong kind of communication can bring the worst out of your girlfriend.
This is not an excuse for bad behavior but an attempt to understand things better.
If you notice that these passive-aggressive behaviors and unhealthy communication styles come from your girlfriend only when you speak to her in certain ways, then that might just be the clue you seek.
When there’s a communication issue between you and your girlfriend, frustrations and misunderstandings can build, which may result in unkind words and behavior from your girlfriend.
While her response may be wrong and shouldn’t be excused, you may make some progress if you also work on your communication.
3. Stress or personal problems
Things sometimes get complicated in people’s lives and, it can affect their relationship.
When people cannot properly compartmentalize the different facets of their lives and manage their emotions well, they may transfer the stress or aggression from one area to another.
So, your girlfriend may be experiencing issues with her family, work, or other relationships.
And this may affect how she communicates with you.
4. She’s insecure or doesn’t trust you
Toxic communication styles or behavior may be a direct result of insecurity and jealousy.
I know it doesn’t make much sense to say that she loves you so much and doesn’t want to lose you and, therefore resorts to being mean to you.
But trust me, that can be the case.
She may not directly express the fact that she’s insecure or jealous but may choose instead to resort to the defense mechanism of being mean when what she desires is reassurance.
No doubt, she needs to work on her insecurity.
If you’ve given your girlfriend reasons in the past to doubt your faithfulness and commitment, then that could also be a reason.
Relationships don’t work without trust, so if this is the reason, it is essential to talk about it and try to reestablish trust in a relationship.
5. Unresolved conflicts
If your girlfriend was not like this before but only recently seemed to change for the worse then maybe you both have unresolved conflicts that she is still holding onto.
As much as you want a thriving and healthy relationship, the reality is that sometimes, things can go wrong, and you can have issues in your relationships.
That is normal.
However, it is important to recognize that if these issues are not resolved, they may lead to a build-up of resentment.
This can cause the behavior of one or both parties to change.
If there are any unresolved conflicts between you both, you may want to address them and resolve them together.
That might just be the simple solution needed
6. She doesn’t like you
If this were the case, then I’m sure you would have known before now.
This point will only be a confirmation.
Someone can be in a relationship with another person yet not like them.
Sad, but true.
She dislikes your personality, behavior, or lifestyle, and this can cause her to be mean to you.
Of course, this is not a healthy situation.
If either party in the relationship nurses such unpleasant feelings towards the other, then the relationship should be peacefully ended.
7. She doesn’t love you
Either she never loved you from the start or over time, she fell out of love with you; that can be an explanation for her behavior.
She may be trying to disconnect you from her emotionally through her words and actions.
Finding this out can be very sad, but it is best to find out than to live in ignorance.
Your girlfriend’s romantic interest may have changed, and she’s just trying to communicate that to you without actually saying it.
8. Past experiences
Negative past experiences, especially in the area of relationships, can affect people’s current relationships.
Toxic communication styles and the use of abusive words can be a result of past trauma.
If your girlfriend had a traumatic past, either in her relationship with her family, parents, or her ex, it’s going to affect how she communicates with you.
You may just be suffering from her past experiences.
9. Lack of emotional connection
Are you both disconnected emotionally?
Well, that may be the reason.
If a relationship lacks sufficient emotional connection and bond, frustration can set in, and it might lead to meanness.
Her mean behavior may be an expression of her frustration at the fact that she’s emotionally starved.
10. Unmet expectations
Women are most times more emotional than men, and they express their emotions in various ways.
A woman who feels dissatisfied in her relationship or feels like her expectations are not being met may express this lack of fulfillment by being mean to her partner.
She may be unhappy about the state of your relationship or feel starved of affection, love, or anything else.
These unmet expectations can lead to unpleasant feelings and may be responsible for her words and actions towards you.
This is not a healthy way to approach unmet expectations, but this may be how your girlfriend expresses hers.
11. Major differences
Differences in values, lifestyle, personality, goals, and even beliefs can lead to a lot of friction, which can in turn, lead to toxic behavior in a relationship.
Relationships are not meant to involve two people who are clones of each other, agreeing on any and everything.
People are allowed to have different views and beliefs, even in relationships.
But if those differences are major and irreconcilable, then they may create a toxic situation.
So, the single reason for your girlfriend being mean to you may just be that you both are not compatible.
12. External influences
If your girlfriend has mean girls as her friends or she comes from a family where people are mean to each other, then you shouldn’t be wondering why she’s being mean to you.
Our behaviors many times are a reflection of the people we spend the most time with.
If you have met her friends, family, or the closest people to her and they displayed unpleasant behaviors, Bro, what were you expecting?
Society, friends, family, and even acquaintances, sometimes are strong influences on how people behave to their partners.
13. Emotional or mental health issues
When issues such as depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues are not resolved, they can affect people’s behaviors in their relationships.
If your girlfriend has a history of any form of mental health issue or stress, that may be the reason for her behavior.
It is very crucial to prioritize mental health and address mental health issues whenever they come up.
She may also be experiencing hormonal or other health-related issues.
Although this reason may have been abused many times and used as an excuse for people’s lack of respect and unwillingness to be accountable, I have to mention it because it is valid for some people.
Some women go through severe health problems or hormonal imbalances that affect their mood, their quality of life, and ultimately their interactions with people.
She can be understandably mean to you because it’s that time of the month.
Yes, things like birth control pills, pre-menstrual syndrome, menstruation, or even severe health issues can influence a woman’s behavior.
14. You have a bad behavior
This list would not be complete without me mentioning the fact that you have to explore the possibility that you may be the reason for your girlfriend’s meanness.
Your toxic behavior may be what is birthing hers.
If you engage in bad behavior such as abuse, be it emotional or physical, manipulation, lying, cheating, disrespect, and so on.
Then you should not be wondering why your girlfriend is being mean to you.
I would even say her meanness is a waste of effort.
What she needs to do is walk out of the relationship if you fails to take responsibility for your actions and make amends.
15. She’s just hungry
Yes, you read that right.
Maybe she’s just hungry.
I think I speak for many women when I say hunger can sometimes alter our behavior.
Whoever said, “A hungry man is an angry man” (An African proverb) really does not know women.
If your girlfriend is a foodie, you should thank me for this expose.
Many women love to be pampered with good food, and when they’re hungry, they may sometimes act in ways that make it seem as though they do not love their partner anymore.
That’s not true. They’re just hungry.
I’m referring to temporary moments of drama or changed behavior, especially when she has not eaten in a while.
Get that woman some food!
While there might be some valid reasons for your girlfriend’s mean behavior towards you, generally there shouldn’t be any excuse for her to be unnecessarily mean and toxic.
If there is an issue, it is important to address it in better and more constructive ways.
Being mean only creates a hostile atmosphere which is not good for either of you.
You need to initiate a conversation with her about it.
Listen to what she has to say, and know where to go from there.
Understanding the underlying causes and being willing to work on them are keys to making your relationship healthy again.