S*x is a part of our lives; through it, we were formed.
With s*x being at the base of our being, it is no wonder that the talk of s*x is on the lips of almost everyone, so much that even the media (communication, advertising, movies, music) continues to serenade us with sex in every form possible.
And you will agree that s*x sells. It is not unusual to see advertisements of products that promise to enhance one’s sexual life – whether enlargement of organs, butts, breasts, or even increased sexual appetite and sexual stamina.
Tell you what; the merchants of these products continue to make huge sales because they are meeting a need – a need that forms the core of everyone of us.
Pause for a moment and review your s*x life, on a scale of 1 – 100, how are you doing?
What is your honest answer?
Just as it is with every other thing in life, there is always room for improvement.
Regardless of where you are sexually, there are habits you can imbibe into your lifestyle, to help improve your sexperience.
You can steadily go from 0 to 100, depending on what your bedroom goals are.
Often, I have heard people say that s*x is overrated. They think there is no more to s*x that the letters that spell it. To them, physical intimacy in any of its forms, is nothing to anticipate, not for any reason, except for procreation and occasional reliefs.
To this group of people, s*x is a chore— you just have to do it.
Frankly, s*x can become a chore due to a number of reasons, ranging from life’s demands and responsibilities, experiences, lifestyle, to health conditions.
When this happens, it loses its flavor, and this ultimately leads to low s*x drive.
However, studies have shown that a quality s*x life has tremendous impacts on the health and immune system.
It also boosts one’s social, psychological, mental, and emotional health.
Hence, to enjoy the amazing benefits of s*x, your s*x drive should not be on a constant nosedive, and to maintain the right frequency, there are good habits that you can add to your lifestyle.
According to Wikitionary, habit is defined as “an action (that is) performed regularly.”
Habits are things that you have done consistently over a period of time till they have become a routine that you now do unconsciously.
We are regularly advised to form good habits in order to enhance productivity in every facet of our lives. Therefore, as I have established that s*x is, in fact, a core part of life, it is expedient that you form good habits that can help to improve your s*x drive.
These habits, when constantly practised, will boost your sex drive and help to improve your s*x life as well as enhance satisfaction in the bedroom.It is generally believed that, it is easier to form habits than to break them.
If that is the case, then you should consider trying to form these habits to improve your s*x life.
After all, besides your relationship, even your overall being would be grateful for it.
Below are ten habits to boost physical intimacy in your marriage.
Not to worry; they are not things that you cannot do.
1. Right your mindset
S*x is an activity that begins in the mind. The quality of your mind, therefore, determines the quality of your s*x life.
It also determines whether or not you will enjoy sexual activities.
If you have the wrong mindset towards s*x, you are likely to experience a decline in your s*x drive.
Having a positive mindset towards s*x will definitely improve your s*x drive.
Consciously screen your thoughts and when you catch yourself thinking negatively about sex or your spouse, make efforts to reorder those thoughts.
Some negative thoughts towards s*x are:
it’s to satisfy a man
it’s a duty in marriage
men want it more
a woman who wants it more and asks for it is loose
it should be endured, not enjoyed
it’s for making babies etc.
What are your negative thoughts towards it?
2. Go back to your twenties!
Yes, you read that right.
Of course, I do not mean that you should become twenty-two again, at least that is not possible – literally.
However, you can bring back the experiences and memory and relive them. Remember those date nights you had with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Recall how you used to sneak away to spend some quality time together; those sweet poems you read to one another; the romantic text messages you shared?
You can go back in time and bring those experiences back again. Send a love text to your spouse to remind him/her of how much he/she means to you.
You do not have to be a seasoned poet to do this. Simply reach into your mind and express your feelings for your partner.
Messages or notes like these make your partner feel loved and wanted, and this can ultimately help to improve your sex drive.
Go on date nights too.
Have a day or two in the week when you shut the kitchen and eat out without the children, especially if you have people who can babysit for you.
3. Go honeymooning again
This is like the second point above, except that you will be reviving the butterflies that were in your relationship when you first got married.
That period in your marriage when everything was still fresh.
You could almost not think of anything impossible to both of you.
You were neck deep in love and nothing else in the world mattered as much.
This one is your own – the man you said yes to; the woman you chose, and you both have decided to spend forever together; that was all that mattered.
You would do anything for the other person. In fact, you did most of the things together.
S*x was fun; there were no inhibitions or restrictions.
You can bring back those days.
Once in a while, take a break off work and the kids and go honeymooning again.
Like your first honeymoon, make love on the couch, in the tub or a private pool.
Explore once again.
If you cannot afford a destination honeymoon, create one in your home.
Send the kids off to a trusted family relation and explore right there in your house without the squeals of the children.
4. Engage in fun activities
Do things that make both of you happy.
What are your hobbies? What do you like to do for fun? Which activities help you relax?
Engage in these activities more often.
Psychologically, these activities will help you to bond better, which in turn puts your mind in a positive frame, and thence will increase your desire for each other.
Fun activities you can engage in include, but are not limited to, hiking, ski diving, indoor or outdoor sport activities, getting a couple body massage, cooking, and taking leisure walks.
5. Continuously affirm one another
Everyone wants to be told how well they are doing. We all like to be spoken nicely to.
Your spouse cannot be one hundred percent flawed. Commend his nice attributes. Affirm her pleasant features.
To make this easier, pick one feature or attribute per day and affirm your spouse for it.
Gradually, you will build an affirmation culture, which will become a habit that endears your spouse to you.
Like magic, it will open up your spouse to you in deep ways.
6. Conflict resolution
One key factor to sustaining a relationship is the couple’s ability to resolve conflicts.
When you have a misunderstanding with your spouse, seek to resolve it as quickly as possible.
Do not hold grouses against one another, because sooner than later, these negative emotions will pile and eventually affect your sex drive.
Women, especially, are emotionally stirred for s*x.
So, imagine what happens when you are not in a good place, emotionally, with your spouse.
7. Keep the communication lines open
Another factor that keeps and sustains a relationship is effective communication.
Refrain from bottling things up within yourself.
When you feel a certain way, communicate with your spouse.
Did you like the moves your spouse gave in bed the last time – or not? Tell him/her.
Is there something you will like to try in bed? Speak up.
Communication is a continuous thing. It is a habit that you must keep practising to keep the flames of your love alive and to improve physical intimacy in your marriage.
8. Talk to an expert
Peradventure there are issues that you are unable to resolve on your own, do not hesitate to talk to an expert.
See a coach, counsellor, mentor, or medical practitioner, depending on what the case is and get help.
Stress, though inevitable, especially in the super busy and bustling world that we live in – a world where everyone is trying to ‘meet up’, can be minimized.
Find what works for you and alleviate the stress.
10. Stay healthy
Maintaining good health cannot be overemphasised.
Eat the right foods that will boost your s*x drive.
Exercise as well, to keep you fit and flexible.
Minimise or stay away from the use of alcohol and cigarettes.
Be mindful of how you use OTC drugs. Do not abuse medications.
I hope you found this article helpful.
10 Habits of Couples Who Have a Fantastic S*x Life
8 Reasons S*x is Boring in Your Marriage