So, you just had an intimate session with your spouse.
It was great. Or not.
However it was, the end of a thing is as important as the beginning and the process.
Below are 5 things you’re probably doing wrong after being intimate with your spouse:
1. Not complimenting your spouse if you had a good time
It’s unfair to keep quiet and let your spouse wonder if you had a great time.
While it’s okay for your partner to ask if you had a great time, it shouldn’t be every time.
Praising your partner for a job well done will make them feel good about themselves, and they look forward to another great time with you, which will improve the quality of your marital sex life.
Why do you stomach your compliments for your spouse?
Is it shyness, a lack of what to say, or simply a desire to make them feel bad about themselves?
Whatever it is, expressing your satisfaction to your spouse will do your marriage a world of good.
Believe me, I’m speaking from experience.
If you don’t know what to say, below are things you can say after a steamy romantic session with your spouse :
1. That was good
2. I loved it
3. You were good
4. You have really missed me, right?
5. Who are you today?
6. I missed that
7. That was great
8. You did great today.
9. You’re the champ!
10. That was awesome
11. I wouldn’t forget this in a hurry
12. This should last me for a week
13. I had a great time
14. I really missed you
15. I didn’t want it to end
16. I love you
17. That was special
18. You know how to make me happy
19. I’d love that again
20. Let’s do that again/soon
Nah, don’t thank me. That’s why I’m here.
Lol.
2. Not saying what you want
Perhaps you didn’t have a great time, or you haven’t always had a great time; not speaking up and letting your spouse dive into an ocean of guesswork is not a good post-intimacy habit.
I understand that airing sexual dissatisfaction to a spouse is dicey and sensitive, majorly because we don’t want to be misunderstood or hurt their feelings/egos, especially if they are insecure and egotistical.
But you can’t keep quiet forever and hope that things change without you saying anything.
You shouldn’t be suffering and smiling.
Your manner of approach will largely determine your partner’s response.
If you approach your spouse in a loving, non-judgmental, and humorous way, I doubt if they’d make a mountain out of a molehill.
I’ve done this before—I gave my husband a suggestion of how I’d like things to be done.
He saw reasons with me, agreed, and we implemented it.
This is another reason why you should compliment your spouse often.
They won’t take your complaints personally if you’ve been doing this.
They wouldn’t think you’ve never had something good to say but only negative ones.
They wouldn’t think you find complaining easier than complimenting them.
Passing positive compliments and airing your dissatisfaction are acts of sexual communication that enhance sexual intimacy.
If you don’t know how to choose the appropriate words, you can consider the following:
1. I’d really love it if you/we…
2. I like it when you…
3. It hurts when you…
4. Can we try to…
5. I’d like us to…
6. I’ve discovered that…
7. Would you mind if i/we…
8. Do you know about… (if you want to introduce something new)
9. What do you know/think about…
10. I think…
I don’t think you should go wrong with any of the above, and with the right attitude, of course.
3. Getting up immediately after
If you don’t have something urgent to attend to, it’s not a good idea to get up immediately after a great time with your spouse.
Spend a minute or two to soak in the moment and relish every bit.
Cuddle, hold hands, or just lay together and enjoy the afterglow.
Let it linger in your memory until the next romantic time you’d have together.
This helps to maintain a sense of closeness and connection between you and your partner.
4. Not cuddling with your spouse
Just like the third point, you shouldn’t just leave your spouse after having a great time.
If you have the time, cuddling with your spouse for a minute or more is an experience you don’t want to miss.
It’s such a great way to bond with your spouse.
You can also have a heart-to-heart talk or pillow talk while at it.
Cuddling is not just a physical act; it also releases oxytocin, known as the “love hormone. ”
This hormone helps strengthen the emotional bond between partners and promotes feelings of relaxation and contentment.
So why miss out on all these benefits?
If cuddling is not something you typically do, try it next time you have some downtime with your partner.
You’ll be surprised at how much closer and more connected you’ll feel with just a simple act of physical affection.
5. Picking up your phone immediately after
Doing this will only rob you of the fantastic opportunity to bond with your spouse.
In this digital age where nothing seems to matter more than our phones, it’s no surprise that the first thing we reach out for after an intimate time with our spouse is our phone.
Yes, our, because I’m guilty of this too.
Sadly, we usually connect with the digital space rather than with our spouses.
Our phones should bring us closer to our spouses, not drive a wedge between us.
Many of us suffer from nomophobia (the fear of not having our phones), which can greatly affect the quality of our relationships.
Put your phone aside and take the time to talk, cuddle, or be in each other’s presence without distractions.
It may seem like a small gesture, but it can greatly impact your relationship.
If you’re guilty of these post-intimacy habits, I hope you’ll work on them and see how they improve your marriage.
Have a blissful one!
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