Should I tell my ex I miss him?
If you’re wondering if you should tell your ex that you miss him, then it means some old feelings have begun to resurrect within you, and even though the relationship is over, you still desire something about it again.
You shouldn’t feel strange or wrong about this, especially since you have been with this person before, and he is no stranger to your heart.
You find yourself missing him often and reminiscing on the times you had together.
Those memories make you miss him even more.
Now you are confused and stuck between swallowing your feelings or communicating them to him.
This has brought about the big and shocking question: “Should I tell my ex I miss him?”
This article will give you the answer you’re looking for and help you make the best decision for your unique situation.
“Should I tell my ex I miss him?” is not a question with a yes or no answer.
It requires a bit of context and background to know what’s right for you.
Consider some of these things before deciding if you should or should not tell your ex you miss him.
“Should I Tell My Ex I Miss Him?”
Consider these first:
1) What Kind Of Relationship Did You Both Have?
Let us start from the genesis.
When you were together, how was the relationship?
Was it a beautiful, peaceful, and wholesome one that ended due to external factors and not because of any toxic trait?
Or was it an unhealthy relationship that had vices like abuse, disrespect, and insults?
For the relationship to have ended, there is a possibility that something terrible happened.
What was it?
One would expect that someone who had a toxic relationship that ended should flee from her ex and destroy any feelings she had for him.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
There are examples of people returning to their abusers or developing feelings for them again after being dehumanized.
There is also the case of Stockholm Syndrome, which makes the abused person attached to their abuser.
If you were in an unhealthy relationship with your ex, whether you were the abuser or the abused, the answer to the question “should I tell my ex I miss him?” is a big no for you.
2) What’s The Relationship Like Now?
Before deciding if you should or shouldn’t tell your ex that you miss him, you must consider your current relationship with your ex.
How did your relationship with him end?
How have things been between you both ever since?
You’d agree that if an ex you haven’t spoken with for a while pops out of the blues and says they miss you, you’ll be creeped out.
Don’t do that.
If your relationship with your ex is estranged, maybe it should remain so.
Or at least, you should try being cordial with him first.
3) Is He Mature?
He is someone you have dated before, so you have an idea of who he is.
Some men are egoistical and arrogant, and telling such a man that you miss him will bring you nothing but embarrassment and belittlement.
You do not want that.
4) Is He In A Relationship?
He is your ex, you had a relationship with him, and nobody is disputing that.
However, that was in the past, and life went on.
He may have met someone else and begun a new relationship with her.
He may not tell you this himself, so it is your responsibility to find out and see.
If he is in a relationship with someone else, then telling him that you miss him is an awful idea.
5) Are You In A Relationship?
He is not the only one who may have moved on.
Even you may have gotten involved with someone else.
But you may be in a relationship but still, miss your ex.
If this is the case with you, take it as a sign that something is wrong.
Instead of wondering if you should or shouldn’t tell your ex you miss him, you should look into your relationship to figure out why you’re thinking of someone else outside your relationship.
Try to figure out why because it’s a sign that something about your relationship or the relationship itself is wrong.
6) Is It Necessary?
Consider this as well.
Is it even necessary to let your ex know you miss him?
Judging from all the things mentioned above and the feasibility of things working between you two again, you can tell if you should tell your ex how you feel- or not.
As much as we love to express our feelings and emotions to people, over time, this has proven to be a bad idea in many cases, as it usually leaves us hurt and traumatized.
So, if you miss your ex, there’s nothing wrong with that.
However, you must critically look at the situation before deciding if you should tell him or otherwise.
Your emotional and physical health and well-being are the priority.
Thus, it’s unwise to risk your health by venturing into something that has the potential to wreck you again.
”I told my ex I miss him and he ignored me”
So, you ignored our counsel and went ahead and told your ex you missed him and he ignored you.
Ouch!
That must have been so embarrassing and painful.
But the deed has been done.
Words/texts are irrevocable, just like broken eggs, they can never be retrieved.
Your ex might have reasons for not responding to your message.
Maybe he’s not missing you back, he’s bitter, he’s over you, he’s in a new relationship, or he’s playing games with you.
If he’s playing games with you, he knows that the more he ignores you, the more likely it is that you’ll get desperate enough to chase him.
He wants you to feel rejected and abandoned so that he can have power over you.
By ignoring your texts and calls, he knows that it will make you feel even lonelier than before and make it harder for you to move on from him.
What to do?
First, don’t blame yourself for reaching out to him.
Being self-critical will not help you.
Before you texted him, you knew there were two possibilities- he would respond or not.
Then stop contacting him!
Don’t even think of bombarding him with more texts; it’ll only make things worse.
It’s okay to miss your ex, but it’s a phase, it’ll surely pass.