Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends?
Shouldn’t bygones be bygones?
I’m not in contact with any of my exes because I don’t see reasons to.
So why would a guy keep in touch with his ex?
Breakups are usually tough, and cutting ties with someone you were once close to is not a walk in the park.
But keeping in touch with them is another thing, especially if you have moved on to other relationships.
This can even be confusing or frustrating to your current partners.
That said, let’s see the reasons some guys may choose to stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends.
13 Reasons Guys Stay in Touch With Their Ex-Girlfriends
1. They still have strong feelings for the woman
This is the most common reason for guys keeping in touch with an ex.
They may not want to admit it to themselves, but they still love her and miss her every day.
Some men will even try to deny their feelings by saying they’re just trying to be friends with their exes for other reasons (like wanting advice or feeling lonely).
But deep down inside, they hope there’s a chance she will come back into their life.
So they have to keep in touch to ensure they don’t lose that possibility.
2. They value the friendship
Just because a romantic relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean the two people involved can’t still be friends.
For some guys, their ex-girlfriends are people they care about and enjoy spending time with.
So even if they are no longer romantically involved, they don’t want to lose the friendship.
3. They want to maintain a connection
When you share a significant portion of your life with someone, it’s not easy to let go completely.
Staying in touch with an ex-girlfriend can help guys feel like they still have a connection to their past and can provide a sense of comfort and familiarity.
4. They want closure
Sometimes, guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to get closure.
Guys keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends because they want closure.
Closure is the feeling of finishing a task or coming to terms with a situation.
For example, when you finish a project at work, it gives you a sense of closure that makes you feel more relaxed and ready to move on to the next thing.
When an argument ends well, and everyone feels like they’ve been heard, it gives a feeling of closure.
When guys keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends, sometimes it’s because they want to be sure that the relationship is really over—that there’s no chance for reconciliation.
It might seem like an unnecessary step just to ensure things are done and over with, but if you’ve ever had something unresolved hanging over your head, you know how hard it can be to get over it until everything is resolved.
So, guys may keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends as one last way of closing the door on their relationship s
They want to ensure that things are okay between them and their exes so they can move on and focus on other things in their lives instead of getting stuck in the past.
This can involve rehashing old arguments or discussing why the relationship didn’t work out to avoid making some of the same mistakes.
5. They want to keep their options open
Some guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to keep their options open.
They may be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with someone else but still want to maintain a connection with their ex-girlfriend if things don’t work out.
They want to have their cake and eat it too.
They want to date other people, but if they don’t find someone better than their ex, they want to keep their ex as an option.
This is a selfish act, and it can be emotionally damaging for the ex-girlfriend, who may still have feelings for them.
6. They want to make their current partner jealous
Unfortunately, some guys may simply stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to make their current partner jealous.
This behavior is unhealthy and can be a sign of deeper relationship issues.
Otherwise, why do you need an ex-girlfriend to make your current partner jealous?
7. They want control over their ex-girlfriend’s emotions
Some guys may try to stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends because they want control.
They are control freaks who think that if they remain friends, their ex-girlfriend will still care about them and be more likely to do what they want.
This kind of behavior is manipulative and can do serious emotional damage to the ex-girlfriend.
8. They are unable to move on
This is another major reason guys need to stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends.
They may be trying to keep a door open for friendship because they are having trouble moving on.
Not every guy can easily move on after a breakup, especially if they really loved the woman, so it is understandable that they would want to stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends as a way of coping.
9. They want to be friends with their ex-girlfriend’s friends
Sometimes, guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to maintain friendships with mutual friends.
They may not want to completely cut ties with their ex-girlfriend if it means losing other important relationships.
So staying in touch with their ex-girlfriends helps them to remain friends with the people they have in common.
In fact, it could even lead to reconciliation because proximity and familiarity can reignite old flames.
10. They want to keep tabs on their ex-girlfriend
Some guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends simply because they want to keep tabs on them.
These guys might wonder if the breakup was a mistake, and they question whether or not they should get back together.
When they are friends with their exes, they can secretly monitor how well their ex-girlfriends are doing without them, and if they’re not doing as well, it may give them a false sense of security.
11. They want to feel needed
Staying in touch with an ex-girlfriend can provide a sense of neediness and importance.
They may enjoy being able to provide emotional support or advice to their ex.
12. They feel guilty for breaking up
If a guy initiated the breakup, he might feel guilty and think staying in touch with his ex will make up for it.
He may also be curious to know if she is still upset about the breakup, and he cannot help but check in on her occasionally.
He wants to feel like he’s making an effort.
I did this when I broke up with my ex.
Even though I knew the breakup was the right decision, I still cared about him and wanted to know he was doing okay.
13. They want to avoid confrontation
Finally, some guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends to avoid confrontation.
They may not want to deal with the potential fallout of cutting ties completely, so they choose to maintain a more distant relationship.
These are common reasons guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends.
While some of these reasons are healthy and indicative of a mature approach to relationships, others are plain negative and manipulative.
If you are serious about getting into a relationship with a guy who keeps in touch with his exes, then you have to accept that he will probably continue communicating with them for some time.
And if he does, then that means he’s not being exclusive with you—and might even cheat on you with them.
So what can you do?
Ask yourself whether or not this is something that bothers you or not.
If it doesn’t bother you, then there is no point in worrying about it.
However, if it bothers you, let him know your concerns.
Agree on boundaries, if possible.
Do what you must to ensure you are in a good place in your relationship.