Is your boyfriend flirting with another girl over text?
Keep reading.
Every lady wants to be the focus of her man.
Before you became an item, there must have been a lot of flirting here and there.
It’s always a sweet feeling that makes the butterflies in your belly excited.
You probably fell in love with him because of his humorous flirty attitude.
Therefore, I can imagine how hurtful it could be to discover that your boyfriend now does the same things he does to you, which makes you feel special to him, with another girl.
Cheating comes in different forms; flirting is emotional cheating which, more often than not, leads to physical cheating, sooner or later.
A boyfriend who flirts with other girls most likely does this in secret because he knows there’s no way his girlfriend will be happy with him if she finds out.
This is definitely not healthy for a relationship.
Examples of flirty texts are texts like,
”I cannot help thinking of you.”
”I wish I was there with you.”
”Would you do me the honor of sending me a picture of your smile?”
The texts could also be more intense and raunchy than those above.
Gracious God!
No lady who truly loves her guy will set her eyes on these words from her boyfriend to another girl and remain indifferent.
If you find yourself in this situation, what should you do?
So, let’s talk about what you should do if your boyfriend flirts with other girls.
Boyfriend flirting With Another Girl Over Text: 6 Things To Do
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Keep your proof
A Chinese proverb says where there is a will to condemn; there is also evidence.
You need to keep copies of the flirty texts that you found on his phone in case he denies them.
Be sure to have concrete proof in order to avoid being gaslighted.
It would be a lost battle if you handle it in such a way that the table is turned around, and you find yourself apologizing for raising dust where there is none.
Trust me; this would even hurt more.
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2. Keep your cool
The situation will be handled maturely if you ensure that your emotions are not all over the place.
It’s important that you get a hold of yourself and control your feelings.
If this will take you some time, then by all means, take some time before confronting him.
In fact, I suggest you try to get all lovey-dovey with him and do things to push him to vulnerability so that the chance of getting the truth from him is higher.
This way, you have created a safe space for him to let you in on what has been going on in his head.
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3. Bring up the conversation with him
The next reasonable step to take in a situation like this is to have a conversation with him about your discovery.
Study his tone and body language and see if he is remorseful or proud of his actions.
Ask him pertinent questions about your relationship and what he did.
By the end of this conversation, you should have been able to establish his innocence or culpability.
4. Admit to invading his privacy
Whether you found these texts by accident or by investigation, your allegations will have a soft landing if you take responsibility for going through his phone and admit that you shouldn’t have.
Even though checking his phone has made you discover what was hidden, it doesn’t make snooping on one’s partner right, except you belong to the school of thought that says that the end justifies the means.
Casting this blame on yourself before he does will render his defense void.
5. Seek counsel
I believe it is not a bad idea to seek counsel about your relationship.
It is often said that when one is in love, one’s judgment of one’s lover’s actions may not be at its best.
You have the prerogative to decide which counsel is best for you and which to discard.
You will be surprised at how many people have been in your shoes and how getting to hear of their experiences could give you clarity.
If you are not comfortable with washing your dirty linen in public, you could make use of an anonymous means where people’s views can be aired with no bias.
You can also seek counsel from people you respect and consider trustworthy.
6. Make a decision
You need to decide what to do next.
Do you want to forgive him?
To what extent has he been flirting?
Was it just to boost his ego or to go as far as physically cheating on you?
Does the extent of flirting matter to you?
What was the situation of things in the relationship prior to this discovery?
What is your deal breaker?
Can you trust him henceforth?
These are the questions you should ask yourself in order to make a decision.
Some people have been given second chances, and they didn’t make a mess of it.
If his betrayal is something that can be fixed based on the conversation you have had with him, then there is a need for a re-evaluation of things.
What can you both do differently to avoid a reoccurrence of such?
What would you have him do to rebuild the broken trust going forward?
For some relationships, there might first have to be issues like this before things fall in place.
As it is often said, that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger( in this case, the pronoun ‘you’ refers to your relationship)
However, if, after your discussion and your general assessment of the situation, you reach a conclusion that he has been cheating on you or he has plans to, I think it will be a lack of self-respect to remain in such a relationship.
You can forgive someone yet not want to do life with them again.
Let him know how disrespectful his act was and how you cannot condone such.
Let him know that you cannot remain in the relationship because you do not trust him, and you will not feel secure henceforth.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Not every relationship will give you what you want.
If you do not get what you want in a relationship, it will teach you what you don’t want.