”Why does my boyfriend check my phone?”
Partners in a romantic relationship are expectedly intimate and share stuff with each other.
Intimacy entails a lot of sharing and access.
They have access to each other’s space, time, money, etc., sometimes with each other’s permission, in order to avoid taking each other for granted.
However close lovers can be, they may still want to lay claim to a certain level of privacy, and it is only fair to respect each other’s privacy.
For some couples, their phones are shared and accessible to each other.
For some others, their phones are a part of their privacy, and they expect that their partners respect that.
If, as a lady, you consider your phone a private possession that shouldn’t be accessed without your knowledge or permission, then you are definitely going to feel offended if your boyfriend crosses the line.
For some people, checking the phone is not even the problem.
The issue lies in the snooping; checking their phones without their knowledge.
You might be wondering, ‘But why does he feel the need to check my phone?’
Let’s help you with some reasons that go through a guy’s mind which make him feel the need to go through his girlfriend’s phone.
Why Does My Boyfriend Check My Phone?
1. He is insecure
An insecure boyfriend is likely to snoop through your phone.
You could possibly be giving him mixed signals, which make him uncomfortable and uncertain of your commitment to him.
Then he starts getting desperate to know his place in your life.
He could also be insecure due to his own personal issues like low self-esteem and possessiveness.
He doesn’t see himself as deserving of you, so he always believes you might still be dealing with guys that are out of his league.
This can be a terrible situation to find oneself in as a girlfriend to an insecure man.
You will always feel the need to prove yourself true and faithful to him.
2. He wants to get to know you more beyond what you’ve told him
This may likely happen in the early days of your relationship.
He wants to find out your interests by himself and not via your words.
He wants to know what he is getting into before absolutely trusting you.
Guys like this might have been taken for a ride in their past relationships; therefore, they are double-checking before giving love another chance.
3. He wants to compete with your admirers
Every guy knows that the fact that they are going out with a lady does not blind other men to the goodness they are dating.
Therefore, he is aware you might have admirers that are wooing you.
He wants to find out about them and know the kind of people they are.
This way, he will know how to keep himself updated so he doesn’t get kicked out of the game.
If there’s a guy offering you money, he wants to give you more money so you don’t feel the need to consider the other guy.
If there’s a guy whose fashion sense is giving him a run for his money, he might want to level up in that regard.
Very funny reason, if you ask me.
But then, it is what it is.
4. He wants to know what you say about him to others and vice versa
This means he always wants to go through your chats with your close friends and family members.
He wants to know what you discuss with them about your relationship with him.
He also wants to know what they think of him.
He knows you might not want to tell him this bit, but curiosity won’t let him stay calm.
He wants to know which of your friends is pretending to like him.
5. He is nosy
Imagine a boyfriend who checks his girlfriend’s phone just to know about confidential details that others have confided in her.
He wants to put his nose in other people’s businesses.
He ignores the fact that she reserves the right to intimate him with such details or not.
He simply doesn’t want to respect your privacy.
Imagine your boyfriend finding out about your friend’s deepest secret on your phone; that must be awkward.
6. You have a history of infidelity
If you have been guilty of cheating on your partner in a past relationship or even in the current one, then it should not be a shock to find out that your boyfriend has been going through your phone.
Trust is earned.
If it’s ever lost due to infidelity, it may take a lot of back-watching before it is restored.
This implies that he is watching his back to know if you are a repentant cheat or not.
This must really hurt your feelings, especially when you know that you have changed.
You just will simply employ a great deal of transparency and accountability in order to fix the broken trust.
7. He is not who he says he is
A boyfriend who is not who he says he is to you is likely to project his realities on you.
He cheats, so he thinks you might be cheating too.
He lies a lot, so he finds the truth unbelievable when he hears it.
If he badmouths you to other people, he might get paranoid that you also do the same.
In short, he is looking forward to finding his flaws and inadequacies in you so that he can feel justified for his own actions.
He is probably guilty of everything he suspects you of.
8. He is shy
Your boyfriend is probably shy to ask you some questions, but he wants to get the answers anyways.
For instance, if he is shy to ask you for your opinion about some things about himself, it’s likely he thinks the idea of snooping through your phone may get him the answers he seeks.
He could hope to stumble on an e-diary or get a hint from your browsing history.
9. You don’t talk much to him
If you do not engage your boyfriend a lot or ask him much about him, he might begin to assume you are probably getting your answers elsewhere.
He, therefore, wants to find out from where.
If he doesn’t perceive you as being totally comfortable to have some discussions with him, he might be wondering why, and this may lead to him snooping around you.
For instance, a boyfriend once found out he had bad breath from his girlfriend’s browsing history: ‘How to tell my boyfriend he has a mouth odor without offending him.’
Funny, isn’t it?
He saved his girlfriend the stress of telling him since she found it awkward to talk about.
It’s safe to say that the majority of the reasons why your boyfriend checks your phone stem from trust and communication issues.
It is the lack of one thing that is creating the need for another.
If you have to get to know things about your partner via their phones, you probably shouldn’t be in such a relationship.
It must be really stressful second-guessing things when you could easily find out from your girlfriend and take their word for it.
In a relationship where trust and openness rules, checking phones should not really be an issue.
The reason your partner isn’t checking your phone should be that they simply respect your privacy and they know that whatever they should know, they can find out from you and not from your phone without their knowledge.
However, if their reason for not checking is fear of what they will uncover, then there is an issue in that relationship.
You and your boyfriend should focus on building friendship and being free around each other instead of snooping around each other.