Sex is not all there is to a marriage, but if we were to consider the top five most essential ingredients for a good marriage, sex would be one of them.
I know for a fact that you will feel frustrated and tired if your husband is disenchanted by you and never comes close sexually.
This is a sad place to be in, and it’s a situation that can affect you in several ways; first, your sexual needs will not be met because your husband is not interested in you.
Also, your mind and self-esteem may spiral downward because you may think something is wrong with you.
But is it really all about you?
I need you to take it easy on yourself as we carefully consider the situation.
There are various reasons why your husband may be losing interest in you sexually.
Let’s look at some of them;
11 Reasons Your Husband Has Lost Interest In You Sexually
1. Monotony and life’s responsibilities
One thing nobody told us as kids is that adulthood may come with some level of freedom, but the plethora of responsibilities and unending challenges it comes with are more.
I mean, you have to wake up every day and show up continually for the rest of your life, and while that can be fun, sometimes it’s a chore.
Let’s bring it down to marriage; sometimes, couples fall into a routine, and there’s nothing wrong with routines, but if they’re not watched, they can snuff life out of the fun in that marriage.
Your husband may have fallen into the usual routine of waking up, working, eating, sleeping, rinsing, and repeating.
Particularly if he works hard and you both have busy lives.
It will quickly seem as though he has zero sexual interest in you because he may not even have the time to glance at your body or notice the signs you’re showing him.
2. Decreased libido
It’s not you, it’s him.
While you’re worrying yourself sick about why he isn’t looking your way or ever wants to get intimate with you, wondering if something is wrong with you the whole time, he may just not have sexual urges.
Men love to protect their ego.
If he knows that he can’t get it up in bed, he may be avoiding your sexual innuendos because he doesn’t want you to know.
He will act as though he isn’t sexually interested in you or he doesn’t find you appealing.
Meanwhile, the real issue is that his sex drive is decreasing.
Now, getting into why this is happening is another discussion.
The first step is for him to feel comfortable enough to open up to you about it and seek help.
3. Infidelity
Nothing shakes a marriage quite as badly as infidelity does; it takes a toll on couples in different ways.
If your husband has been getting down with other women outside of your marriage, it can significantly impact your sex life with him and how he perceives you.
This is quite sad, but you should never feel responsible for it or make it your cross to bear because it isn’t.
If he’s cheating, it’s entirely on him, but unfortunately, your marriage with him is also affected directly.
He may be enchanted by his mistress or mistresses while he now finds you unappealing.
On the other hand, maybe you don’t even want him coming to you after going around with different women.
You may want to get him checked to be sure you won’t be getting any STDs from him.
Of course, this point does not apply to everyone, but it is worthy of consideration if your husband has given you valid reasons to suspect him.
Another woman may be in the picture.
4. He’s dealing with health issues
While you’re concerned about the state of your marriage sexually, there may be an even bigger underlying issue that you’re not aware of.
Your husband may be dealing with certain health concerns that affect his well-being generally or directly affect his sexual abilities.
Many men who deal with health issues, especially around erectile dysfunction and prostate problems, generally experience decreased libido and sexual frequency.
I hope the communication in your marriage is good enough that your husband won’t keep it away from you if this ever happens.
He may keep it away from you if you don’t have such great friendship and openness.
5. Poor hygiene
Smelly underarms, bad morning breath, and bad feminine hygiene are all captured here.
Some men are very big on cleanliness and want their women to be, too.
Even if your husband isn’t big on it, you ought to prioritize personal hygiene for your confidence and health as a woman.
If your hygiene is bad, it can affect your sex life.
Some men may not mind the unpleasant sight and foul odor of dirty clothes and an unwashed body, but your husband might, and if so, he may no longer find you appealing sexually.
6. He’s tired of asking you
If he keeps asking you and you keep turning him down, he will just stop at some point.
You’re his wife, and you’re both meant to meet each other’s sexual needs.
If either of you is unable to do that for some reason, it should be communicated to carry the other along.
However, consistently turning him down for no reason can affect the health of the sex in the marriage.
Your husband may lose interest in you sexually.
7. You’re not attractive to him anymore
This is a sad thing to think about or admit, but if this is the case, it’s usually better for you to notice the signs early enough to know how to resolve the situation.
If your husband is not sexually interested in you, it may be because he doesn’t find you attractive anymore, and there can be a lot of reasons for this.
You may be responsible for some, and others may not be your fault.
Perhaps it’s an issue of change in body type or even change in his perception of attractiveness; what he considers attractive may have changed over the years, which may be the reason for the issue on the ground.
From your end, you may also have let yourself go and no longer see the need to look attractive and sexy to him anymore.
It is essential for couples to regularly sit down to discuss these things and then find ways to put themselves in check while still trying to be the best versions of themselves and maintaining their passion.
8. Boring sex
Your husband may have lost interest in you sexually because he is tired of the kind of sex you both have.
Perhaps he is more adventurous than you are and wants you both to try new things and spice the bedroom up, but you are bent on doing it the same way over and over again because you prefer your comfort zone.
He may get frustrated and stop coming on to you.
He knows that even if he shows interest in you, you’re still not going to consider his request.
9. You cheated
Infidelity from your side can mess things up, too.
As much as sex is a physical act, it largely involves the mind, too.
If anything disrupts the peace of the mind, it will affect the sex.
If you cheated on your husband or have given him reasons not to trust you, that can be what is affecting his sexual attraction to you.
The hurt and betrayal he feels will prevent him from finding you appealing or wanting to get intimate with you.
10. Unresolved issues
General marriage issues can seriously reflect on your sex life.
When couples fight or quarrel over something and don’t find ways to reach a middle ground and resolve it, they’re creating an unhealthy environment for the marriage to grow.
Unsettled disputes can make it difficult for your husband to connect with you on a sexual level.
Depending on his personality and the magnitude of the existing issue, his sexual interest in you may decrease.
Some husbands do not let fights stop them from getting intimate with their wives, but that is not the case for others.
Issues have to be settled first.
11. Your behavior is unpleasant
If your behavior wearies your man out, don’t expect him to be eager to get down with you.
He may be having a hard time dealing with your rudeness or other toxic behaviors, and he may not want to get intimate with you.
Sex may happen in the bedroom, but it doesn’t start there.
Your interactions and how you treat each other serve as build-ups to the main act.
If there’s an issue with the sex, most times, it’s an indication of a more deeply seated issue in the marriage.
Both parties need to carefully trace it and find the roots.
Then, you can address it and reignite the intimacy in your marriage.