I once overheard my friend’s brother, and his friend argue about relationships and sex.
They were arguing about if they could go into a relationship with a lady who slept with them on the first date.
While my friend’s brother swore he could never date such a lady because he already considered her loose and cheap, his friend had a different opinion.
His friend said he could date a lady even if she got down with him on the first date, as long as he liked her personality and they got along well.
The question “Does sleeping with a guy too soon ruin it?” is one that has been debated for years, and this is because there is no direct answer to it.
Firstly because who decides the “too soon” time frame?
“Too soon” to some, may be after a few weeks of meeting the new person, while to others, it may be after some months.
But for the sake of this post, let us take “too soon” to mean any period within the first few dates when you have not properly come to know this new person.
Another reason why this question can not be given a definite answer is that every situation is different because individuals are different.
Bearing these in mind, the answer to the question “Does sleeping with a guy too soon ruin it?” would be “very likely.”
Sleeping with a guy too soon can ruin things.
The answer is not a yes or no because, at the end of the day, it really depends on the individuals involved.
Dating is quite unique to everyone, and it has a lot to do with the mindset of the people involved.
But generally, it is advisable to take a step back when you just meet someone to observe how things are going and get to know them a bit before getting sexually involved.
From people’s experiences, sleeping with a guy too soon has proven to have disadvantages in many cases due to the following reasons:
Does Sleeping With A Guy Too Soon Ruin It?
1. It Sends The Wrong Signal
Having sex with a guy too soon does many things, one of which is that it sends the wrong signal.
You may have met a guy you liked, connected with him after a very short period, and somehow, you both ended up in bed together.
Even if you like the guy genuinely, he may think your feelings for him are superficial, and you wanted just the sex.
This, of course, depends on his mindset and understanding.
But for some men, it is quite hard for them not to think you are all about sex and nothing deeper than that.
And if this is how they now perceive you, it can potentially ruin things between you both because they may have a wrong idea about you.
2. It Makes Things Too Intimate
Having sex with someone too soon also has the potential to make things between you both too intimate.
Often, women get attached to a man faster than men and end up feeling vulnerable because of it.
This can cause them to feel overwhelmed when the relationship doesn’t go further than just sex and can make them feel used.
3. It Is Risky
Another reason why having sex with a guy too soon can ruin things is because of the risks involved.
Having sex with a person you do not know well enough, especially unprotected sex is quite risky, particularly because of issues like sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
When you do not know someone well enough, you can not vouch for them.
You can not be sure where they have been and what they carry in them.
Having sex with a person too soon only to discover along the line that they got you infected with a sexually transmitted disease or infection will cause a lot of friction between you both and regrets on your part, and this could have been avoided.
Getting infected with an STI from this new person can potentially ruin things.
4. It Clouds Your Judgement
Sex has been known to keep people from seeing the things they should actually see.
When you begin to have sex with a person, you most likely will ignore or even be blind to some of their negative behaviors or some things you should probe further on.
And even when you see some, you make excuses for them, especially if the sex is good.
Having sex with a man too soon can cloud your judgment and make you ignore certain key and important aspects of the relationship, like their character and lifestyle.
You may become so focused on the sex that you miss out on important things to look out for, like red flags.
With time, however, you will eventually begin to notice these things and see how they affect you.
You may begin to learn and see things about this person that are unpleasant to you.
These things are things you probably would have noticed earlier if you paid better attention and were not sexually involved.
Some of the things you find out may cause friction between you both, which can eventually ruin things.
5. You Can Be Labelled As Cheap
It is no longer news that society judges women differently from men when it comes to the issue of sex.
While a man may be seen as active and appealing when he has sex with many women or has sex on a first date, things are quite different for the woman.
In many societies, a woman is considered cheap when she is sexually expressive or liberated.
When you have sex with a man too soon, you are at risk of being called a cheap even by the man you slept with.
If the man you slept with has this kind of mindset, then the relationship is already dead on arrival because he will have little or no respect for you, judging you solely by the fact that you both got intimate early in the relationship.
6. It Leads To Inadequate Emotional Connection
Sleeping with a guy too soon before establishing a strong emotional bond may result in a superficial relationship that lacks depth and meaningful connection.
I mean, this is one of the reasons guys lose interest after sex – because the relationship has nothing else to offer them besides physical intimacy.
The major way to create a deep connection with someone is by taking your time, getting to know each other, and having meaningful conversations before engaging in any form of sexual activity.
This will foster an emotional connection that goes beyond just physical attraction and make you both feel secure in the relationship.
It will also give you enough time to decide if a guy is someone you truly want to be with.
7. Unrealistic Expectations
Do you wonder how sleeping with a guy too soon can lead to unrealistic expectations?
Okay, it’s like this.
After you’ve slept with a guy too soon, he might start to expect that same level of commitment from you every single time.
He may even think that it’s okay for him to call you whenever he feels like it or put pressure on you to be available whenever he wants.
Also, you may expect him to be more committed to you than he’s ready to be.
These kinds of expectations can become burdensome and create unnecessary stress between you.
8. Self-Doubt
Another consequence of sleeping with a guy too soon is that it can lead to feelings of self-doubt.
You may start to question your worth and value and even wonder if you were too easy or if the guy only wanted you for one night.
While these reasons have been proven valid by people’s experiences, there are still many exceptions and cases of people who ended up having amazing relationships and even marriages, even after sleeping with each other early.
At the end of the day are no hard or fast rules to issues like this.
Sleeping with a guy too early has some disadvantages and may ruin things in the long run for some people.
But for others, it may not make any difference.
Or it may even be what makes them bond more.
The answer is not a yes or a no because, at the end of the day, it really depends on the guy involved.
If you have already slept with him and he is beginning to act funny, there is no cause for regrets; learn your lesson and move on.