“Every affair is a fairy tale or a tragedy” — Cherie Priest.
The words of Cherie Priest seem fitting for this article.
There are two possible destinations for an emotional affair: better when imagined but tragic when experienced.
This is further buttressed by the words of Norman Lindsay, “The best love affairs are those we never had.”
His words aptly express that nothing good can result from emotional affairs.
However, before we go into the possible outcomes of an emotional affair, let us consider what an emotional affair is.
Emotional affairs are a form of infidelity that involves a deep emotional connection with someone outside of your primary relationship.
They may not involve physical intimacy, but they can be just as damaging and painful for the betrayed partner.
Emotional affairs can happen for various reasons, such as dissatisfaction, boredom, loneliness, or curiosity.
But how do most emotional affairs end? Do they lead to divorce, reconciliation, or something else?
In this article, we will explore some common outcomes of emotional affairs.
How Do Most Emotional Affairs End?—7 Possible Scenarios
1. You lose your main relationship
Most emotional affairs almost always lead to the end of most main relationships.
This is because, more often than not, the emotional affair gets exposed in the end.
The main relationship may be a committed and long-term relationship or even marriage.
The feeling of betrayal the partner feels when emotional affairs are exposed almost always leads to the end of the main relationship, regardless of how committed or serious it is.
Many people find it hard to forgive their partners for cheating on them and may decide to put an end to the relationship or marriage.
This is a bleak end to something that promised so much adventure and pleasure.
So, the next time you feel tempted to engage in an emotional affair, you need to remind yourself that nothing good comes from it.
2. You may lose a close friendship
When you have an emotional affair with a close friend, you run the risk of losing the person as both a friend and a lover once the affair ends.
Even if you try to convince yourself that there were no feelings involved, there is still the affection and emotional bond that you have shared.
There is almost always no going back to how things were when the emotional affair ends.
This reminds me of my schoolboy crush on my best friend.
I call it a schoolboy crush because I was still in school.
I was a teenager with raging hormones, and she was(is) so beautiful that it would have been a miracle if I hadn’t fallen in love with her.
I did fall in love with her but never attempted to woo her because I thought of the future and wondered what would happen to our friendship when we eventually broke up.
It was a question of “if” for me because I knew it would surely happen.
I wasn’t ready.
I am still not ready.
The loss of a close friendship is another tragic end to an emotional affair that makes me wonder if emotional affairs are actually worth all the stress.
3. You are left feeling guilty
The most common outcome of an emotional affair is a guilty conscience.
If you can have an emotional affair without feeling guilty, it means that something vital is missing.
Most people know when they are doing something wrong and feel guilty whenever they are doing it.
In the same way, cheating partners may feel guilty for betraying their lovers, especially when it dawns on them that they don’t deserve such treatment.
This guilt is what leads to the end of the emotional affair a lot of the time.
However, ending the affair doesn’t end the guilt, sometimes.
It may push you into confessing your unfaithfulness and letting your partner decide whether to remain in the relationship or not.
4. Remaining in an unhappy relationship
A lot of times, emotional affairs end with you still being stuck in that unhappy relationship that pushed you into an affair.
There are several reasons why cheating partners choose to remain in their unhappy relationships.
However, the only valid and acceptable reason is choosing to stay in the relationship because you love your partner and want to salvage the relationship.
More often than not, cheating partners in an emotional affair may decide to remain in their unhappy relationships because they are feeling guilty over how things went down between them.
Feeling sorry or staying in the relationship because you feel guilty is among the typical outcomes of an emotional affair.
5. The emotional rollercoaster of keeping up with an emotional affair
One thing most people don’t realize until it is too late is that emotional affairs are stressful to engage in.
I think that a romantic relationship with a woman is sometimes more than a man can handle.
So, when I see a young man juggling three or four relationships – two primary relationships and two affairs- I can’t help wondering if he has a special serum he drinks for strength.
Emotional affairs are usually stressful to keep up with.
When they finally end, they may cause an emotional rollercoaster that sweeps up everyone involved in the affair and their partners in their primary relationships.
It’s a whirlpool of negative emotions ranging from sadness to disappointment and, finally, to hate.
The most common outcome of an emotional affair is heartbreak all around.
6. Lack of intimacy in the primary relationship
When emotional affairs end without the partner in the primary relationship knowing, you may be tempted to think that everything will continue normally.
That may just be a pipe dream because the feelings you may have had for your partner may have dimmed during the period the emotional affair lasted.
You may start avoiding physical intimacy with your partner because of this.
If the lack of intimacy continues, then it may be the beginning of the end of your primary relationship as well.
Even when you are not caught, infidelity offers no real benefits.
7. Having to remain just friends with someone you have shared more with
This is one of the most complex parts of having an emotional affair with someone who is a friend of the family.
Ending the emotional affair doesn’t guarantee you won’t continue seeing the person and interacting with them.
It makes it harder to move on when you keep seeing the person you cheated with around you constantly.
It’s hard to continue being just friends with them.
However, how do you explain to your partner that you no longer want a friendship with that person?
So you are stuck in a friendship that is not really a friendship, and the strain takes its toll on you.
Ultimately, it’s really obvious that there seems to be almost no good end to an emotional affair.
Someone just always ends up getting hurt in the aftermath of an emotional affair, and sometimes, everyone involved gets hurt.
If you ever start feeling something for someone other than your partner, then you need to make a choice to do the right thing.
What’s the right thing?
Stay and work on your relationship, or decide to leave and inform your partner without cheating on them.