How to deal with a man that uses you for money.
Nobody likes to be exploited.
And nobody should, especially not someone who should love, value, and seek to serve you.
When you love a person, you desire to help and please them.
Sacrifices become easier to make, and you let go of things for their sake.
But the case is different for an exploiter.
They never give but always want to take.
He always needs your money for something urgent; he imposes unnecessary financial obligations on you; and never calls you or shows affection until he needs monetary favor.
These are signs that a man is using you for money, and they may have frustrated you.
If you are in a situation where a man uses you for money, you need to know the best ways to deal with him.
This article is all you need.
Sit back and learn.
How To Deal With A Man That Uses You For Money
1. Ask Him What He Needs The Money For
The first thing to do when he comes asking you for money is to ask him why he needs the cash.
This is not intrusive but to have productive communication and understand his perspective.
Sometimes, your man may have valid reasons for asking you for money.
It could be an emergency, an investment that will benefit the both of you, or a great opportunity he should not miss.
There is nothing wrong with supporting each other in a healthy relationship.
However, no matter how valid his reasons are, his requests should not be frequent.
He should not be reluctant to tell you or get furious that you asked.
If he does any of these, it is simply a pointer to the fact that he does not love you and is using you for money.
Now read on to know the other ways to handle the situation.
2. Reduce Your Frequency Of Giving
One of the ways to deal with a man that uses you for money is to reduce how much and how often you give him.
You may not want to immediately stop giving him because he may have some valid needs.
Instead, start by cutting down drastically.
Gradually reduce his sense of entitlement so he understands his actions are not okay.
3. Lend Him The Money
In dealing with a guy who uses you for money, you need to understand that the more you give to him, the less he appreciates it.
Asides from that, you honestly should not keep giving to a person who uses you for money.
It will negatively affect you and your finances.
This is a valid reason you need to stop giving and start lending him the money.
The next time he asks you for money, playfully or seriously state that you do not have money to give, but you can lend him some money.
Make a deal to return the money or that he pays with interest and be firm about it.
4. Encourage Him To Get A Job
Many times, women are the ones who receive money from their men and not the other way around.
Men are not always comfortable asking their women for money because of their pride.
But if your man is different and does not mind asking you for money all the time and you feel uncomfortable about it, start suggesting he gets a job.
If he does not have one, there is a problem because every adult should be able to work and fend for themselves.
Suggest he gets a job and even recommend a few to him.
Getting a job will empower him to take care of his bills and meet his needs.
In addition to that, it will make him responsible.
You will feel less burdened because he no longer has to ask you for money all the time, and this is great for both of you.
5. Let Him Get A Loan
You are not the only one he can borrow money from; tell him to try other options.
Regardless of how valid his reasons for borrowing are, stop being his only source.
Gently suggest to him to apply for a loan from any financial institution.
A loan will give him the flexibility of repaying without stress.
You can also suggest that he explores the option of borrowing from trusted family and close friends.
Suggesting these to him will make him hold back from asking you for money next time.
This is how to handle a man who uses you for money.
6. Be Firm
To handle a man who uses you for money, be firm, and never bend in easily.
Ask questions when you do not understand and refuse to be bullied or cajoled into silence.
If you want to consider giving him money for a business or an investment, do not be afraid to ask for more details and the pros and cons.
Even if you have lots of money to spare, you must manage it well by avoiding reckless spending.
Do not accept any financial obligation without understanding it even if it is from your partner.
7. Help Him Find Other Solutions
Another way to deal with a man who always asks you for money is to suggest other alternatives to him.
If you always give him money when he asks, he may forget that there are other solutions he could consider.
Eradicate the sense of entitlement from him.
Do not make him feel it is right to ask you for money because it is not.
So when next he comes to ask you for money, suggest he takes another route to get what he wants.
It could be that he sells his gadgets, belongings, phone, or something else, depending on his need.
Doing this will make him reevaluate the need and decide if it is necessary.
8. Delay In Giving Him
Even on the few occasions when you feel okay with giving your partner money, do not always be swift to send him the money or give him the cash.
Take it gently and slowly, especially if it is not an emergency.
Act like you forgot or are trying to raise the money.
This will slowly frustrate him and discourage him from constantly asking for money.
9. Explain To Him That You Do Not Have The Money
If you have some needs to take care of, you should not make them suffer because you want to meet your man’s never-ending needs.
Although you may feel uncomfortable telling him, find a way to do so.
Let him understand that you have bills to sort out and can not afford to help him at the moment.
10. Tell Him How You Feel
If the relationship is healthy (we hope it is), communication should not be a problem.
You should be able to let him know you feel when he asks you for money.
If you think he is using you and you make too many sacrifices, inform him.
You may have fears that he will keep depending on you for financial help, communicate this to him too.
If he does not respond well to your concerns or you even feel afraid to communicate with him, that is a sign that your relationship is unhealthy.
You may want to reconsider the whole relationship.
11. Create Excuses
If you are dating a difficult man, it may not be easy to escape giving him money if he always asks.
In a case like this, you may need to create excuses.
Straight-out tell him that you do not have money, that the money with you does not belong to you, or that you also need money.
You may have to lie to stop getting used.
12. Consider Breaking Up With Him If You Can’t Cope
This is the last resort because you must first give your partner the benefit of the doubt and support him in many other ways.
But if he keeps acting entitled, disrespects you, and is financially irresponsible, ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to remain in.
In a nutshell, there is nothing wrong with helping each other in a healthy relationship.
Thus, the fact that your boyfriend asks for your help with money does not automatically make him bad.
You should help him when you can and when it is necessary.
But it should never be under compulsion or deception, and it should not be frequent, or there will be a problem.
Even if you have a lot of money or are a millionaire, you should not be careless with money or let people use you.
Life is not a bed of roses; you are not making money for a parasite even though they’re your partner.
FAQs
1. Should you help a man financially?
It is normal and okay to help your man if he has a financial need.
Do this like you’d assist your friend or even an acquaintance.
However, it should not be frequent or continuous.
2. How do you know your man is using you for money?
It’s easy to tell that a man is using you for money.
You will notice all he cares about is your money and how he can benefit from you.
He does not show any care or love for you, and his actions are selfish.
He will contact you only when he needs something and never offers to give you something tangible.
3. Is it wrong to ask your woman for money as a man?
It is not wrong for either party in a relationship to ask the other for money if they need help.
However, it should not be the norm.
Each person should be able to handle their bills.