Writing about whether or not to visit a guy in his house reminds me of this story I read on Reddit.
So, this girl meets a guy on a dating site, and he invites her to his because he wants to cook for her.
She’s apprehensive, but she goes to see him anyway.
He makes her a nice meal, and while they are talking after the meal, she feels this strong urge to poop.
Guy asks her to hold on for him to make sure his toilet is okay for her to use, wastes time in the toilet, and before he comes out, the girl has pooped herself.
She’s ashamed, as a normal human would be, and starts crying.
The guy consoles and asks her to go into the bathroom and clean herself up, even offering her fresh clothes.
She cleans herself up and comes out of the bathroom a short while later to see that guy has smeared himself with her poop.
Then, the guy asks her to have sex with him, with the poop all over him.
The girl panics and runs away from him, then shares her story on Reddit.
A few months later, another girl leaves a comment on the post saying that she went on a date with the same guy, same place, same scenario.
Turns out the guy has been inviting girls to his place, putting laxatives in their food, and hoping to get lucky with one of them.
I’m not sure how true the stories are, but I know that coprophilia is a thing.
Of course, I’ve been to a guy’s house on a first date, and it didn’t turn out bad like the case above.
However, you can only trust yourself and not everyone you come across, especially if you met the guy online or you did not know so much about him until you connected to start dating.
If a guy invites you to his house on the first date, here are some things you should take into consideration before diving right in:
6 Things To Know If A Guy Invites You To His House On The First Date
1. Trust Your Instincts:
There is something about convictions and your inner senses.
If you end up neglecting your convictions and instincts, there’s a high chance of you ending up in trouble.
Sometimes, you meet someone that you flow effortlessly with.
The conversations are oh-so-nice, and you never want to end them.
It feels like there is a force of attraction pulling you to him, but at the same time, you have this constant nudge in your mind.
It is not that nudge that comes from being an overthinker but one that leaves you feeling really restless.
It is in moments like that you should listen to what your mind and heart are saying.
No matter how attracted you are to the person, understand that it takes only a moment for things to go wrong.
Sure, he may be the most appealing guy with an enticing personality, but when your inner man says something doesn’t add up, it’s better you don’t find out the hard way.
That niggling feeling at the back of your mind, a gut instinct whispering caution.
Trust that inner voice.
If something feels off or you’re not entirely comfortable with the idea of going to his house on the first date, it’s perfectly okay to hit the pause button.
They’ve guided humans for centuries, helping us navigate tricky situations, and most of the time, they are never really wrong.
If your gut is giving you a little nudge of hesitation, take a moment to acknowledge it.
It’s not about being overly cautious; it’s about being true to yourself and ensuring your well-being.
2. Communicate Openly:
I had a misunderstanding with my boyfriend some time ago, and this was due to a lack of communication from me.
He had wanted to communicate a change of plans with me and also see how we could reach a compromise over some plans we had, but I was nowhere to be found.
This got to him badly because he didn’t know what was going on with me, and at the same time, he needed to really talk to me at that point.
I had a good reason for being away, but because I didn’t reach out to him to communicate the reason for my silence, it was almost a disaster.
Communication is the glue that holds any relationship together, even in its early stages.
If a guy is asking you to his house for a first date and the idea makes you feel uneasy, talk about it.
Of course, this is not in a defensive or attacking way.
Express your feelings openly.
A simple “I’m really enjoying our time together, but I’m a bit cautious about going to someone’s house on the first date” can work wonders.
It is not you casting any form of aspersion or doubt on his intentions, but more of you trying to be really comfortable around him.
Naturally, he should have no issues with you on that but sees it as an avenue to understand your expectations and boundaries.
There’s no need to drop cryptic hints or play guessing games; honesty is the key.
3. Suggest a Public and Neutral Place First:
After communicating your reservations about meeting with him for the first date in his house, I believe you should have an alternative.
A neutral and public place that will still avail you some privacy to an extent.
This is just you being smart and savvy.
Personally, I see this move as a trial run before diving into the more intimate setting of his home.
Maybe there’s this charming coffee shop downtown or a quirky little restaurant you’ve been dying to try.
Suggest meeting there.
It’s a relaxed setting where you can chat, enjoy good food, and see if the chemistry continues to sizzle.
Plus, being surrounded by people takes off a bit of the pressure and lets you both ease into the date without feeling like you’re jumping into the deep end.
You can also try out meeting at the park, a museum, or even a cozy spot in town.
You will get a chance to gauge the vibe, see if the conversation flows effortlessly, and decide if you’re both on the same wavelength.
4. Inform Someone:
Okay, let’s get real for a moment.
Saying safety first might sound cliche until you’re in a situation where you did not do all the necessary things you ought.
Before venturing into the unknown, which in this case is the home of your date, be sure to drop a pin on your whereabouts with a trusted friend or family member.
Share the deets – the address, the time, the works.
It’s like having your own personal backup team, ensuring someone knows where you are and when you’re expected to resurface.
In fact, I always suggest making calls to these trusted persons in the presence of your host so that he knows people know your whereabouts.
And while making the calls, make sure it’s not just one person, even if you have to fake it.
It’s not about being overly cautious; it’s about being smart and making sure there’s someone looking out for you.
Plus, it’s an excellent excuse to check in with your buddy and share those juicy date details later.
5. Discuss Expectations:
Earlier on, I mentioned something about communication.
At this point where you are to discuss expectations, I call it a time to lay the cards on the table – not in a serious, “we need to talk” way, but in a casual, let’s-get-on-the-same-page vibe.
Before heading to his house, have a little chat about expectations.
It’s not about setting up a contract or anything in the 50-shades-of-grey kinda way.
It is just a friendly conversation to make sure you’re both singing from the same dating hymn sheet.
Ask about what he envisions for the evening, and share your thoughts, too.
It’s a chance to talk openly about any boundaries or preferences you might have.
It will also help in charting the course for the moment, and things won’t just flow without a pattern.
Also, it will help prevent unnecessary boredom along the line.
I remember my first date with my boyfriend.
It was a full day of activities, right from breakfast to drop off.
Trust me, talking about expectations doesn’t kill the mood.
If anything, it is about ensuring both of you are comfortable and excited about the date because there is something to look forward to.
The more you know about each other’s expectations, the smoother the evening will go.
It’s like a dating GPS that keeps you on the right track without any unexpected detours.
6. Be Prepared:
Boy Scouts are not the only ones who should be prepared.
You are all set for the date, feeling fabulous, but just before you step out the door, do a quick mental checklist.
Fully charged? Double-check.
Transportation plan? Triple-check.
It’s not about being paranoid; it’s about being prepared for any scenario that might pop up.
Carry your phone with you, make sure it’s juiced up, and have a backup charger if you’re planning an extended rendezvous.
Having a transportation plan in mind, whether it’s a ride-sharing app, your own car, or public transport, gives you the freedom to navigate the date on your terms.
Being prepared doesn’t take away from the excitement of the date, but it ensures you’re equipped to handle any curveballs that may come your way.
It’s all about that balance of spontaneity and practicality.