“My feelings for him scare me!”
If this is you and you don’t know what to do about it, please read on.
Although feelings can not be seen, they are one of the most powerful forces that exist.
When you have feelings for someone, it impacts your life in many ways.
Depending on the strength of what you feel, it may dictate your actions and even your lifestyle.
If your feelings for a man scare you, there may be many reasons for that.
But don’t worry, I’ll share the possible reasons with you and how to handle overwhelming feelings like those you’re experiencing.
“My Feelings For Him Scare Me”- 11 Reasons
1. They’re strong
What you feel may be so strong that it has become overwhelming.
It may be distracting you from work, life, and other important things.
You can’t seem to concentrate because of how strong the feelings are.
Maybe you didn’t expect to experience such feelings or to feel them in such significant ways.
If you didn’t plan to fall for someone and end up doing so, you may feel somehow about it.
And if the feelings keep growing, they may begin to scare you.
This is because you’re finding it difficult to process what is going on, and it’s almost like your heart is acting on its own volition, out of your will.
It is important to note that obsession and infatuation usually come with very strong feelings.
This makes it crucial to define what you are feeling exactly.
2. Afraid of change
Fear of change is a probable reason your feelings for him scare you.
When feelings are birthed between two people, many things can happen.
The possibility of initiating a romantic relationship or changing the dynamics of your existing relationship with him may be scary.
It is quite normal to be scared of change.
Many people are, even if the change is a positive one.
The thought of changing your reality from what you know and are familiar with to something else may be frightening.
Often, our response to our experiences and feelings can be triggered by some form of trauma or the other.
It could be feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem birthed from negative past experiences.
Or an unhealthy attachment style formed since childhood, leading to feelings of anxiety and distress.
Trauma from past experiences can affect your current mindset in different ways.
And this can influence how you feel when you realize you have feelings for someone.
4. Fear of being vulnerable
You may be afraid of being vulnerable.
This might just be why you’re afraid of your feelings for him.
When you fall for someone, you start to feel vulnerable; honestly speaking, vulnerability can be scary.
You may feel like you’ve let your guard down and made yourself susceptible to being hurt.
If you have been hurt in the past, this will further worsen how you feel.
5. You’re unsure of your feelings
Another possible reason you’re afraid of your feelings for him is that you’re not even sure what you feel.
This is especially valid if you like to be in control.
You may sometimes ask yourself, “Am I sure I like him, or does this feeling mean something else?”
It doesn’t help if you feel some pressure to be in a relationship.
You may subconsciously feel pressured to get a partner, which may have stimulated your liking for him.
You’re not sure if you genuinely like him or not.
6. You’re unsure of his feelings
Or maybe you’re sure you like him, but you’re not.
The feeling is mutual.
I can tell you for sure that one of the most frustrating things ever is to like someone who doesn’t like you back.
Or to like someone and be unsure about their feelings for you.
Uncertainty and anxiety can be created if there has been a lack of clear communication between you and the guy.
You may be afraid of rejection because you’re unsure what he feels.
These feelings can become so overwhelming that they lead to anxiety.
7. He doesn’t deserve it
As harsh as this may sound, not everyone deserves to be liked by you.
I mean, you can like everyone in a general way, but certain people do not deserve deep love and affection from you.
For instance, if a guy continually treats you like thrash and has proven time and time again that he does not respect you, if you begin to develop feelings for such a guy, the feelings may scare you.
Because you know he is not deserving.
The feeling is a beautiful one, but not the person.
Consider the person you have feelings for and see if the feelings are worth acting on or should just be buried.
8. It’s unreasonable
The feelings you have for someone can be unreasonable.
It may be scary if what you feel is excessively consuming and distracting, making you feel possessive and edging towards obsession.
Such feelings can lead to negative outcomes.
Maybe you feel so consumed by the feelings that you are willing to do anything to get his attention.
This is an unhealthy kind of feeling and needs to be checked by a professional urgently.
9. Other priorities
As much as love is a beautiful thing, but not all times are great for it.
Growing feelings of love and attraction may scare you if you are trying to focus on specific goals and priorities.
Particularly if your plans and priorities do not align with being in a romantic relationship.
If you’re at that point in your life, having feelings for someone can lead to inner conflict, which can be scary.
10. Your culture or religion
Culture, religion, and societal views can influence how people view romantic feelings and relationships.
Your response to your feelings may be due to your upbringing or cultural orientation.
Maybe you haven’t felt this way before, and you’re amazed at the strength of what you feel.
This can make you feel overwhelmed.
Maybe deep within you, you know it won’t work out, so you’re scared.
You may have assessed the possibility of a relationship blooming between you two and seen how slim the chances are.
Maybe there is a divide between you both, such as cultural or religious divides.
Or maybe one of you is married or in a relationship.
You know that even though the feelings exist, they can’t be acted upon.
And nursing those feelings may even be dangerous.
It is important to reflect on your feelings and see what the specific reasons for your fears are, as they can vary from one person to another.
Understanding why you feel the way you do is key to managing the situation.
“My Feelings For Him Scare Me” – 4 Things To Do
1. Analyze your feelings
Reflecting on your feelings to understand why they’re so is a crucial step because you can not correctly address something you’re not sure of
Although the reasons I shared above are valid, you are still in the best position to know why your feelings are frightening.
Self-awareness will help you with this.
Things like journaling and sharing your feelings with a trusted friend can also help you process things better.
Once you have gained some level of clarity, you are ready for the next step.
2. Address your feelings
After you have analyzed your emotions, you can choose to address or act on them.
Don’t be pressured to do this in a rush.
You should take your time and allow things to grow naturally and comfortably.
Observe him to see if the feelings are mutual or if the situation is not ideal, like if he’s a married man.
You want to approach the situation in the best way possible.
If the situation is ideal and you feel safe doing so, initiate a conversation with the guy expressing your concerns and feelings.
Deciding to do this is a bold decision, and you have to be ready for whatever the outcome is.
Communication might be the best thing ever as it may lead to understanding and, who knows? Maybe a beautiful relationship.
But be open-minded enough to know that it might turn out negatively, too.
The feeling may not be mutual, or he may not respond favorably.
But don’t let thinking about that stop you if you feel like letting him know.
You never can tell what the result will be until you’ve taken a step.
4. Prioritize you
Sis, in all of this, you mustn’t lose yourself.
Whether you decide to act on your feelings or not, practice self-care and manage your emotions well.
Don’t get consumed by anxiety or stress because of how you feel.
You can even choose to establish boundaries if that makes you feel more comfortable.
This experience might just be what makes you experience personal growth and understand yourself better.
Seeking professional help is an option you should consider if your feelings for him are causing significant stress to you.
Speaking with a trained counselor or therapist can help provide support for you.
Feelings are feelings, but they shouldn’t control your life.
It is good to get to the root of why you feel the way you feel.
It will ultimately help you navigate it.
I want you to know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes; it’s all part of being human.
Be open to exploring this feeling, learning from it, and embracing growth or change if it comes.
All the best!