I am yet to meet anyone who feels good after being spoken rudely to.
Whether it was done by their friend or foe, it still has an unpleasant effect.
Everyone feels terrible and belittled when someone speaks rudely to them, and that’s just a natural response to the unpleasant words or mode of communication.
Being spoken rudely to by your husband can feel even worse because that’s the last person who should speak in such a manner to you.
If you’re experiencing this, you may be wondering what the reasons are.
Let’s look at the most likely reasons below.
13 Reasons Your Husband Speaks So Rudely To You
1. He has a flawed character
Before taking a look at the many other likely reasons for your husband’s actions, it is crucial to look at the first and most likely ones.
Your husband speaks rudely to you, most likely because he is a rude person.
Many things can make him speak to you in unpleasant ways, but if it is not in his nature and character to do so, he wouldn’t.
So, if he speaks to you in disrespectful and unpleasant ways, more than any other reason, it is a revelation of his character and how flawed it is.
2. You allow him to
No, I’m not about to blame you for your husband’s actions.
Whatever he does is completely on him.
But I won’t fail to let you know how you may be encouraging, supporting, or even subconsciously making him do it.
If you have fragile self-esteem or suffer from an inferiority complex, chances are that you will lack confidence and tolerate things you shouldn’t tolerate.
And the thing about human beings is that they are most likely to continue doing certain things if they aren’t stopped.
I read somewhere that you teach people how to treat you by what you allow them to do to you.
So if your husband has a flawed character and says one, two, and three unpleasant words to you and you let it slide, best believe it will blossom into something worse.
3. You speak rudely to him
Every action begs for a corresponding reaction.
If your husband is speaking to you in unpleasant ways, maybe it’s because you are doing the same to him.
Unknowingly or even knowingly, you may be speaking to your husband in unpleasant ways for some reason.
And you may expect him to respond to you with courtesy.
Well, life doesn’t work like that most times, and to be fair, that’s an unfair thing to do.
Some men may have thick skin and not speak to you in the same way.
But as time goes on, your words may get to them, and they may decide to respond with the same energy.
Do you have a right to feel offended if it’s something you started?
4. You’re completely reliant on him
Lack of independence can be a reason why your husband speaks rudely to you.
If you completely rely on your husband, especially financially, and you have a husband who does not respect women and believes he can do whatever he wants because he’s the man,
You make yourself susceptible to a lot of insults.
He may belittle you in many ways and speak to you in unflattering ways because he knows you need him.
After speaking rudely to you, you may need his money the next minute so he feels more empowered.
Even when you’ve done nothing to warrant his crude words, he may just feel irritated by you for the sheer reason that you are dependent on him.
This, of course, is not ideal.
As much as I advocate for women to be independent and have their own thing going on for them, even in a marriage, I believe that even in cases where she is unable to do so for some reason, she should be supported and taken care of by her husband without being made to feel small.
5. He doesn’t respect you
Still in the same vein, if your husband doesn’t respect you or doesn’t respect women generally, it should not be strange to see him speak rudely to you.
Some men have a faulty mindset about marriage and do not see women as their equals who deserve respect.
They do not understand that a healthy relationship can not be built on disrespectful behavior.
And all forms of disrespect, including rudeness, are only going to create a toxic atmosphere in the marriage.
If your husband doesn’t respect you, he will speak to you in rude and unpleasant ways.
He may be influenced by his upbringing, role models, or cultural and societal practices.
If he has a flawed mindset about gender roles and behavior, it will be seen in how he behaves towards you.
He may exhibit these rude behaviors because he thinks it is normal or acceptable.
6. Unmet needs
Unmet needs and expectations can lead to frustration, which may be expressed through rudeness.
If your husband feels neglected either emotionally or physically, he may become angry and displeased, and these may reflect in his communication with you.
It may not exactly be his character to be rude.
Frustration may have led him there.
Couples need to communicate expectations and feelings in healthy ways to avoid building anger and resentment.
7. Stress
External stressors may be responsible for how your husband speaks to you.
If he is undergoing issues such as personal problems, financial setbacks, or work-related stress, he may unintentionally become irritable.
This can make him lash out in unpleasant ways.
The pressure and stress he is experiencing may be getting the best of him, and he may not know how to manage it.
8. Poor communication
Many times, people who speak rudely are people who lack effective communication skills.
They do not know how to properly communicate their intentions and feelings without being abrasive and rude about it.
If your husband has a communication problem, he will speak to you in unpleasant ways.
Also, if the communication in your marriage is generally not consistent or healthy, it can lead to misunderstandings and arguments, which eventually may lead to rude behavior.
9. Conflicts
Unresolved issues and conflicts can be the reason for this.
When tensions are high, both parties in the marriage may speak rudely without intending to.
Allowing issues to linger and persist without seeking healthy and constructive ways to fix them will lead to a build-up of unpleasant feelings and possibly resentment.
This may further create tension, causing one of you to speak rudely.
10. Personal issues
When people undergo personal issues in their lives, it may impact their marriages.
If your husband is dealing with issues such as unresolved trauma, anxiety, depression, and other emotional problems can affect his behavior towards you.
His communication style may completely change due to his emotional issues, leading to rudeness.
11. Modeling behavior
Do you know that your husband may just be acting out what he saw growing up?
It is very common for people to repeat patterns they witnessed when they were being raised, especially from their own parents.
If you pay attention to your own lifestyle, you may notice one or two behaviors that are patterned after your parents or the people who raised you.
If your husband was raised in an environment where rude communication was considered normal, don’t be surprised if he unintentionally replicates it.
12. Lack of awareness
Your husband may be ignorant of his actions.
He may not even realize or be aware of how unpleasant or hurtful his communication is.
This is why you must bring it to his attention and communicate your reservations.
Failure to do this will only make him continue, and it will become a habit over time.
13. Power struggles
A man who is trying to assert dominance may choose to use the tool of his words.
He may be trying to prove that he is in charge and should be respected.
This is an unhealthy practice, but it is quite common, especially if the man feels threatened or belittled.
Final thoughts
There can be a wide range of reasons for rudeness within a marriage.
The reasons can vary greatly depending on the individuals involved and the situation of the marriage.
If your husband speaks to you rudely, you should call his attention to it in a calm way and try to talk about it.
It may be helpful to seek help from a marriage counselor if the issue persists, as this can help guide you both in identifying the root causes of his behavior.
Remember that a healthy marriage can not be built in an atmosphere of rudeness and unpleasant words.
Both parties in the marriage must toward ensuring that unhealthy practices are dropped and replaced by healthy ones.