I need to take a sip of juice before I talk about this.
Because this is a pretty interesting question.
There are only two likely reasons why you need to answer the question; “what does a married man want in an affair?”
The first reason is that you’re genuinely curious about why a married man would cheat.
The second possible reason is that you’re having an affair with a married man and would like to know what he wants so that you can meet those needs.
Well, that reason is not my focus today.
My focus is answering the burning question about what a married man wants in an affair.
Let’s talk about it now that I’ve had my juice sip.
“What Does A Married Man Want In An Affair?” – 12 Eye Opening Things
1. Validation
Many times, when people cheat or step out on their partners, it’s because they seek validation.
Most times, it’s about them and not their partner.
It’s not about something his wife did or didn’t do; instead, It’s about who he is.
He requires validation for some reason and seeks that validation in an affair.
Most of the time, this is linked to issues like midlife crisis and low self-esteem.
He is in an affair because he wants to feel better about himself.
2. Sex
Of course, you already knew this, lol.
And if, for some reason, you didn’t, I’m spelling it out in clear terms.
One of the significant things a married man wants in an affair is sex.
It’s easy to say he’s not getting enough of it in his marriage, and that can be true, but it may not always be the case.
He may be getting it in his marriage, but he still wants to get some outside of his marriage.
In essence, I’m saying that a lack of sexual satisfaction or compatibility with his wife can make him seek it in an affair.
However, even if he finds satisfaction in his wife, he may still want more in an affair.
The whole point remains that there’s literally no married man in an affair who does not want sex.
3. Fun
When married men have affairs, especially when they have it with way younger women, it is usually because they want fun.
They are pursuing the thrill and excitement of being in a new relationship or meeting someone new.
Not to forget how enticing the idea of a secret affair is to some people.
The thrill and excitement may have left his marriage due to the monotony and routine that comes with most marriages after some time.
So, if he decides to have an affair, you can bet he wants some excitement.
4. Respect
Respect can be what a married man seeks in an affair.
Particularly if the man does not feel respected and valued by his wife at home.
Although not all married men are respected by their side piece.
Some men are more respected and loved by their wives at home.
But some want to have a sense of honor and a feeling of being held in high esteem, and if his wife doesn’t give him that, he wants his side chick to.
5. Peace
I think having an affair and wanting peace is somewhat ironic, but it is the reality for some people.
Some men have affairs because they want peace.
Their marriage may be full of storms and chaos due to challenges or issues such as compatibility.
They may also have poor conflict management systems, and instead of finding ways to improve it, they choose the “easier” way out – an affair.
Sometimes, fixing issues in a marriage can be challenging, especially with a nagging or unwilling partner.
So they may choose to have an affair, hoping to find someone who is more peaceful, giving them the tranquility they seek.
6. Company
If a man who is in a long-distance marriage or who has a wife who is consistently not present starts an affair, you can be sure that one of the things he wants in that affair is companionship.
His marriage may not be bad, and he may still be in love with his wife, but he may just be lonely and have poor self-discipline.
He wants someone to feel the void when his wife is unavailable, which means that when his wife is around, that person becomes useless.
7. Love
Love? Hear me out, please.
I know that when people have affairs, they usually seek something superficial, but sometimes, the situation is different.
A married man can look for love in an affair.
Unfortunately, sometimes, people fall out of love with their spouses or think they have fallen out of love due to the challenges they have faced.
A man in such a marriage may begin to seek love elsewhere, hoping to find it in an affair.
Such a man will give that affair a lot of commitment, time, attention, and investment, hoping that it blossoms into something more formidable
8. Emotional connection
A married man can seek Emotional connection in an affair.
If his marriage lacks emotional connection due to a disconnection between him and his wife or marital issues, he may seek to fill that void of emotional intimacy elsewhere.
And an affair is one of those places.
9. Happiness and satisfaction
No one goes into an affair hoping to be unhappy or unfulfilled, although that often becomes the case.
But that is never the intention from the beginning.
A married man wants happiness and satisfaction in an affair, particularly if he’s from an unhappy marriage with constant arguments and fights, leading to dissatisfaction.
He may resort to infidelity and hope he finds happiness in it.
10. Escape
An affair can be a means of escape from challenges, stress, or even a bad marriage.
A married man experiencing many issues, personally or in his marriage, may seek some form of escape from the things going on in his life.
He may choose to go into an affair as one of the escape routes.
So you may find him being wild, free, and happy in his affair, forgetting his problems and acting like a completely different person.
This is because he does not want to face his reality and wants to create another reality for himself.
11. Nothing
Yes, you read that right.
Nothing.
Sometimes, a married man does not want anything in an affair even though he’s in it.
That’s quite rare, but it happens.
Maybe the opportunity just presented itself, and he fell for it, but in reality, he stands to gain nothing from it that he does not already have in his life.
It’s just a circumstantial affair.
The temptation came, an opportunity presented itself, and he fell for it.
12. Fulfillment of fantasies
People go into affairs to fulfill their fantasies, especially sexually.
They may have wild fantasies and desires that their partner cannot satisfy or that they may even be afraid of suggesting to their spouse because they’re bizarre or unrealistic.
And so they find it easier to fulfill it with someone with whom they do not share any form of attachment or commitment.
If such a man has an affair, he expects those fantasies to be fulfilled.
Ultimately, the things a married man wants in an affair differ with each individual.
But the list above captures most of it.
People have different reasons for what they do, and you can only find out when you ask that person one-on-one.
It is important, however, to know that whatever it is that a married man may want in an affair, it doesn’t make it right.
Infidelity is never a solution to marriage problems, so these reasons do not justify cheating.
Affairs have deleterious effects on the parties involved and can be damaging to people.
Seeking better and healthier ways out of marital challenges holds the potential to give better results.